silentcharon Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I wrote this as a way to cope with everything- I read this to remind myself whenever I am down. I thought I would share this with anyone who could use a pick me up! This applies to both genders even though this is geared towards men. Enjoy! Why I don't like you- Here are the reasons: 1) I just don't like you in that way. Nothing you do will change this. I might sleep with you, my answer will be no then, and it will still the same later. Buy me all the drinks you want, and run to me the moment I cry, my answer's still no. We'll be great friends, and all that, but that's it. Sorry, hun, once my mind is made up, you're screwed. Next! 2) Telling people we dated. For starters, I don't even like you in the first place to even be friends with you. Telling people that I am your ex is pathetic, when we never dated. Maybe you mentioned that to boost your sorry azz ego since you know you will never have me, and you know it. I shrink away from you when you attempt to have pictures taken of us. I decline your offers to buy me drinks, this is a hint that I don't LIKE you. Get a ****ing hint already and grow a set of balls. Once you do this, you can find a girl who will dump you, and until then, you have every right to call her your ex. Next! 3) You tell me how desperate you are to get laid, that so-so amount of time has passed since the last time you put a dick in a girl. Oh, well, that's too bad. The subtle hints you drop, I do indeed pick up. And my answer is no, I will not sleep with you. I am VERY picky who I sleep with, and guess what? You've been picked out and tosssed aside the moment I laid my eyes on you. We might be great friends, but I'm still not sleeping with you. This is far worse than the #1 guy, he might get some with me, but you are not regardless of our circumstances. Now scoot away and find someone else to bone. Next! 4) You are my ex for a reason. Feeding me lines of how you can't commit right now and how you want to be friends with me instead is absolute bull****, especially when you don't make any efforts to get in touch with me. When you do get in touch with me, you act like you expect me to grovel at your feet thanking you for spending five minutes talking to me on MSN. NOT. Simply put- I don't like you anymore. I predict that you will come crawling back to me once you've realized how great I was, and well... maybe if you're lucky enough, I'll be kind enough to put you on my back burner. This will allow me to use you anytime, like for instance if I'm bored, you can take me out and pay for all of my drinks while I grind away with a hottie on a dance floor. This is a combo of #1 and #3. You decide which is worse, one of those numbers or #4. Either way, you're ****ed. Next. 5) I absolutely despite it when guys tell me how women tell them they're so good. And you know what? I disagree, I'm just nice enough not to tell you that your dick isn't that big. I have slept with guys bigger than you are. Maybe the women you've banged slept with men with small dicks. Your six inches dick is NOT huge and does not make you a sex god. You suck at eating me out, and you slop all over me when you kiss me. You just SUCK and this is exactly why I am never sleeping with you again. Don't bemoan to me how you can't believe I won't sleep with you, after how many women have told you how good you are. It's because I know you aren't- so just **** off. The point of this list? This is to let you know, that once I've made up my mind, you have a snowflake's chance in hell of changing my mind. If I don't like you, I will never like you. If I once loved you, please remember the past tense, I lov-ED you. I will never love you again. Call me a bitch all you want, that's all right, I don't like you either and never will. My reasons why I don't like you: 1) You are a player. I despite players. 2) You try to move too fast with me, the deal's off infinitely. 3) You dumped me, why would I want you back? 4) You are a loser, I might be friends with you anyway, but I don't date losers. 5) I JUST DON'T ****ING LIKE YOU. GET OVER IT. I am a Goddess. I have standards unlike the average whore you are used to- if you cannot meet or exceed my standards, you are ****ed for the rest of your life. You read that once a woman makes up her mind, you have a slim to none of a chance to change her mind. This is true, and it applies to me even more so. If you don't fit any of the numbers I have listed above, you MIGHT have a chance with me. I cook mean meals, enough to make a guy saistified for days. You'll never have to worry about me getting mad at you for playing video games, because I'll actually join you in some fun. I like action movies and so on, you will have to never worry about me forcing you to watch a chick flick because I don't like them. I don't bat a eye if my nail breaks, I tear it off and life goes on. You will never have to worry about me asking you to kill that spider in the corner, because I will kill it myself. I get along with people- even if I don't like them. You will never have to worry about me getting fat- because I have a fast metabolism and I can eat anything I damn well please. You also will never have to worry about me asking you if I am fat or if I look fat, because I know I am not. In short, I am great because I am independent, I am beautiful and I am everything you could ever ask for in a woman. I doubt you'll find someone as great as I am, and if you had to pass me, it's your loss. Once you've realized how great I really am, it's really too bad, because then, I'll be with a guy even better than you are. You are forever destined to be with mediocre women like that woman you decided to test if the grass on the other side is greener. I've got a news flash for you, my side is actually greener than the other side. The only reason why the other side is green because there's a septic tank underneath. I'm not letting you taint my grass, so get the **** off my lawn before I shoot your sorry azz! Actually, I'll shoot you in the back as you run away anyway. I'm that GREAT.
phyrespryte Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 This is a great thing to have. Here's some reasons I'd like to add... 1. You told the same story over and over. 2. More often than not, you smelled. 3. You're a sloppy kisser. 4. And the fact that you're getting a Master's degree still doesn't impress me, cause your portfolio blows.
Guest Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 What a great idea SC!!! Here's my list: 1) I had no idea what an avoider you are. 2) I thought you had learned so much and come so far and you just resorted back to running away instead of fighting. 3) You don't deserve me.
jusified Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Its good to have a list, but also have a list of the good things they did too. Be objective, but if you look at the two list and you think "wow, he/she really sucked and maybe I am better of with out him/her" then make sure you will not be traped in a relationship like that again.
Craig Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 SOMEONE needs to get over herself, LOL. Hmmm I was thinking something very similar... ... 2) ...Telling people that I am your ex is pathetic, when we never dated. ... 4) You are my ex for a reason. Whoops
Ssheena Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 I thought it was pretty funny - good for you Silent! check this... F* all those nights I moaned real loud F* it, I faked it, aren't you proud F* all those nights you thought you broke my back Well guess what yo, your sex was wack I'm in a bitter, cynical mood.
Author silentcharon Posted April 3, 2007 Author Posted April 3, 2007 Actually, a friend of mine asked me if I was a guy's ex- he has the ego the size of a football field, and he was telling everyone I dated him and HE dumped me. "Huh. I never dated him. How pathetic." I don't even like him. It's probably a way for him to show that he likes me, but I don't know if I should feel flattered or digusted. And Bridget Jones, I do not need to get over myself. It is simply a list to make myself feel better when I am down. Its good to have a list, but also have a list of the good things they did too. Be objective, but if you look at the two list and you think "wow, he/she really sucked and maybe I am better of with out him/her" then make sure you will not be traped in a relationship like that again. I don't need to question whether I am better off or not, because I *know* I am. This list reminds me why. I am not a man hater, I actually love men, just not those that act the way as I have described in my list ssheena, nice poem! Love the rhymes!
Ssheena Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I can't take credit.. I sent you the link with the lyrics in a PM. By a little girl rapper/singer named Frankee. Title F.U.R.B. I think you can guess what the FU stands for the the r = right b = back..
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