huntin'inNC Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]I need some insight. My fiancée had some problems back in December, and we broke up for about 3 weeks, and she wouldn't even talk to me or answer any of my calls. I basically didn't exist to her. We reconciled, and I made her a bunch of promises that I haven't exactly stuck to. I had a episode Sunday a week ago, when I disrespected her(basically made her feel like a piece of meat). I regretted almost as soon as I did, but I couldn't take it back. I knew I screwed up, so I made a conscience decision to change. This past Saturday, she tells me that she isn't happy, and wanted to break up again. I know I screwed up, and I don't blame her at all for wanting to be away from me. I know what I need to do to fix myself, and I have a lot of work to do. Now to my question. As I said above, on our last breakup, she didn't even acknowledge that I existed. She tells me this time that she still wants to do things together, still hang out, and still talk to each other. After she gave me my ring back Saturday, she even went to my son's t-ball game with me. Yesterday, she spent time with me and my son at the park, at we talked, flirted,(she would tickle me, pinch me on the @ss, ect), and joked around with each other. Huh? I told her in our "breakup" discussion that I realized where I was screwing up, and that I wanted to change. Since that discussion, I haven't brought up anymore about the relationship, I have just enjoyed her company. Do you guys think that I have a chance again with her?[/sIZE][/FONT]
bridget_jones Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I don't know. It's hard to say. So you get bitched out because you treated her like a 'piece of meat' yet she can pinch you on the a**? Sounds like she overreacted and might be unstable.
Guest Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 If you have a child, then you really don't need her. She sounds very unstable. If you were to stay w her it would be like having another child to take care of. do you really need that? she sounds very wish washy. it is your choice what to do but you really need to thank about your family first. she sounds like she doesnt know what she wants. be careful. your a brave fellow.
Author huntin'inNC Posted April 3, 2007 Author Posted April 3, 2007 [FONT=Arial][sIZE=2]We have talked a little today about some of our problems. Her whole problem with me is that I told her I would make changes to my life the last time we broke up, and I have been dragging my feet/falling back into the same routine. I want to make the changes that she is hung up on, but it is hard for me....I think that my biggest problem is that I have been insecure around her, and she has lost respect for me...It took a lot of soul-searching to figure this out. I talked to her yesterday, ( to feel her out on me seeing someone else, if it came up), and we sorta decided to wait a month before seeing other people. I am going to clean up my act, and hopefully regain her respect and trust. [/sIZE][/FONT]
Guest Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Does she have children also? If she has been married before, maybe she just isn't ready for all that again (esp. if it was a bad marriage). She sounds like she enjoys doing what she wants when she wants.. it sounds like there is a age/maturity difference. You shouldn't change for someone - you should be allow to be yourself and she should too. If you try to change for her/anyone it will always backfire. You wouldn't be happy if you made changes for her if they weren't what you want to.
Sand&Water Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 RE: I believe you, Hurtin'inNC, have a long way to go in terms of bringing about change in your behavior, dynamics, and relationship. The most significant part of that journey is for you to eventually learn to grasp and absorb the lessons that come your way. Secondly, show her -yes, she needs to see herself- the small changes. This is not All in One Dose Type of Change -where it happens overnight and you become a completely different person. No. It will take time, effort, and understanding from both sides. Tearing, and scratching each other with claws and demeaning words undeniably grinds away the respect and trust you have built for each other. Show her how much she means to you, and how much of an influence she has on your son. The future doesn't build itself -you have to built it with her. Sand&Water
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