Mary Shadows Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 So I have this friend who is a girl, and I have this guy who is my friend as well, & they're in a relationship with each other without the tittle I guess. She hasn't called either of us today, n he gets sad when she dosn't talk to him. When me n him are together we can laugh & carry on a coversation, plus we make each other laugh & the conversations never goes dry. We have so much in common, &&& when we don't bring up her name, he's fine. He called me because he couldn't sleep, n I want him to not be so stressed over her. She's my friend, but like before something has happened. I have fallen for him. His personality is amazing, but I could not do that to them. He knows I'm friends with both, but now it's going to be harder to be around thme together. He also told me things he never told her. I do catch us flirting sometimes, but how do I know for sure it's flirting, & not harmless joking???? but I know he likes her a lot...on the same hand, even though I know it's bad, I want to do something to make him think about me like I think about him. I love everything about him. He's sensitive, polite, just amazing Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?? Explain:( HELP:(
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 how do I know for sure it's flirting, & not harmless joking???? As long as he remains your "friend's" boyfriend, it doesn't matter. Hopefully you have some common decency and won't act on it either way as long as he is with her. I feel sorry for this girl. He is a prick for doing this behind his girlfriend's back, and you aren't being much better for backstabbing her by trying to move in on her boyfriend. If you are determined to go for it, and he is determined to cheat on his girlfriend, then the two of you need to break off your relationships with this girl. The last thing she needs is a parasitic friend who will go after her boyfriend, and a boyfriend who will cheat with her parasitic friend behind her back.
bridget_jones Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Do you think he is suddenly more attractive to you now because he is involved with your friend? Why didn't anything happen between you two when you were friends before he started seeing your friend? I am a firm believer that a guy will make a move when he is interested, he won't let ruining the friendship get in the way when he is attracted and wants more from a female friend. I think he would have let you know by now if he was interested in you in that way. It might be wise if you try to distance yourself for a while from both friends.
Walk Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I agree. I think you need to take a hiatus from this guy for a while. Let him sort out what's going on in his heart by himself. Two reasons.. If something did happen between you and this guy, he'll always have a "what if" in the back of his mind regarding your friend. Any relationship you may have had with him will be tainted by his feelings for the friend. You know he has deeper feelings for her then he does for you. You would have to remove your female friend from your life completely in order to feel even somewhat secure with this guy as a "bf". And in the back of your mind, you'll feel like second choice with this guy. That nagging thought that says he couldn't get her so he settled for you. Second reason... You owe your female friend respect. You chose to be her friend. If you have no intention of respecting her as a person, then you shouldn't continue to pretend to be her friend. Either end the friendship with her, or stop selfishly trying to fulfill your own wants without caring how she feels. Think long term about this. Do you want to keep her as a friend? Do you care about her? How would you feel if you get this guy and then find your friend balling her heart out because of what you did? How would you feel to have her look at you with hurt betrayl in her eyes? It's a question of respect... Do you respect your friend enough to talk to her, to find out what her best interests are, to set your wants on the back burner this one time? Just don't let the feelings for this guy cloud your common sense. You have a good heart and you know how you would want to be treated if the situation was reversed.
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