loveinlife Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I feel so lonely today. Been staying at home and wanting to go out to do something. I want to hang out w a girl who i care for, someone to hold and chill, like go to the movies, beaches, zoo, museum, shopping, and just spending some quality time together. This is sounding kinda of desperate and i know desperation drives the other partner away. This is what i want but i am not recieving it except partying at clubs and hanging out w this girl i like whom is not looking for anything serious. I know i can't do any of this right now bc there is no prospective person who is fulfilling this desire that i have. Perhaps, this journey will drive me towards self satisfaction. *shrug* more dependency for self and not relying on others to be happy. i guess i feel like i want a relationship w someone who can give as much love as i do. any comments?
Island Girl Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I know i can't do any of this right now bc there is no prospective person who is fulfilling this desire that i have. Perhaps, this journey will drive me towards self satisfaction. *shrug* more dependency for self and not relying on others to be happy. i guess i feel like i want a relationship w someone who can give as much love as i do. The more that you can get comfortable with being alone and pursuing your own interests without someone the more you will have a life to share and the greater the chance of finding someone to complete the picture.
Author loveinlife Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 Thanks Island Girl! Its been tough for me. At one point i had a few girls who liked me but i didn't pursue them bc they were not my type(about a month ago). I put them all away bc i needed space to learn to be on my own. This is my creation. None of those girls are what i was looking for. Ok i will try to be dependent and learn to enjoy myself. this is going to be hard...
Island Girl Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Ok i will try to be dependent and learn to enjoy myself. this is going to be hard... No -- try to be Independent! And it isn't as hard as you think. Just realize what you want to do and do it - learn about it - see it -- whatever. The world is your oyster, get it!
ddnnee Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 the more you think about your loneliness, the more you will feel it. i'm a guy that is girlfriendless and i find myself "lonely" many times, BUT i realize i have a family and i keep busy with university and my job. studying, working, and playing computer games eat up all my time. I find it hard to squeeze in time for a girl if i were to have a girlfriend today because that would mean i have to cut down on study time, work time, or game time. stop thinking about your loneliness and keep busy with your life. just remember that if you become rich in the future whether it be 40-50-60-70, you can buy your 18 year old pu---cats (las vegas prostitution is legal) while other losers are stuck with their grandma titties. yea yea, im evil. on another note, prostitution VS girlfriend/wife.... you get more sex per dollar with a hooker than you would with your wife. example: 100-300 with hooker a night in USA, 10 cents - 10 bucks in 3rd world. 1000 bucks per month for girlfriend where 4-5 times is average per week for after honey mooners. 2-3 for mid life, once a month for most people.
Author loveinlife Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 Island Girl, i see your point and it is what i am searching for. Its that self happiness that i want w/o the need of another to make it happen. thanks for the support. ddnnee, i see your point. You think like a few of my friends and I do know what you are talking about bc i hang out w ppl like you. This is however not what i am looking for. I have women who would give it up for me. Those are very easy to find w/o paying anything. Because how easy that seems, i find it a turn off. That they just want me for sex. (I still get sex from my x. I know, that seems kinda ackward, but she comes to me.) But its the other aspect of women i like, such as, hanging out, all the mushy stuff and having a attraction w them. (like a girl friend) Perhaps i am asking a lot but i know what i want and all the women who have liked me, 5 over the past year, did not pass those standards, except for this one girl i know for 4months, who is a dude magnet and a heartbreaker that i hang out with every weekend that is not looking for a relationship. Because she can't give me that, its making me think about what i need to do to enhance my life by being single and loving it w/o another person being there. life is tough, but the only way to live better is to do it. hope i make sense.
LakesideDream Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 just remember that if you become rich in the future whether it be 40-50-60-70, you can buy your 18 year old pu---cats (las vegas prostitution is legal) while other losers are stuck with their grandma titties. Not a very mature attitude, and really needs no more comments. There is a factual error here though. Prostitution is not legal in Las Vegas, or any other city in Nevada. Prostitution is only legal in a few licenced brothels in "outside city limits" places. For instance, the nearest brothel to Las Vegas is 60 miles North of town. In general Nevada has very tough anti prostitution laws in places like Vegas and Reno. Both the prostitute and the "John" are prosecuted.
Author loveinlife Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 Anyone feeling things way? And if you found a solution, please share it. I like to hear other people's opinion and learn how to develop a better perspective. thank you. =)
EricOnTheWeb Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 I'm so glad I found this thread,I'm new to Love Shack and I'm so glad to see this thread. I know what this feels like in the worst ways,and its the reason I googled a site such as Love Shack. I'm in therapy for my lonelyness,have been for over a month now. I have alot to share on this subject and will later(I don't have time atm) I have alot of emotion concerning loneliness (Eric)
oppath Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 If you are single and in a rut with friendships/dating find 3 passions. Maybe a softball league on Sundays, a photography class monday nights, and tutoring at a local library on Thursdays. You'll meet new people and be out of the house and learn to be happy pursuing your own passions. This might not give you the intimacy you want, and it won't cure loneliness, but it will teach you to be a passionate, interesting person, and if you do the same things at the same times each week, you will meet similar people for friendship/dating.
Author loveinlife Posted April 9, 2007 Author Posted April 9, 2007 Ericontheweb, i hope to hear from you soon regarding your experience. oppath, sounds like a good idea. I appreciate your help. I have many friends and have lots of girls who like me. Every weekend or two i would find a new girl who is interested in me, but i do not find them attractive and never pursued them. It seems like i have limited myself to 2 people, my ex girlfriend, who tells me to wait for her to come back into the relationship w me(which has been 5 months and is making me feel like a doormat, also the reason why im venturing out to meet new ppl) and M. Both girls are not looking for a relationship, and these are the only girls i am attracted to atm. seems like i am setting myself up for failure... Hope to hear from you guys/girls soon. =)
Island Girl Posted April 9, 2007 Posted April 9, 2007 my ex girlfriend, who tells me to wait for her to come back into the relationship w me(which has been 5 months and is making me feel like a doormat, also the reason why im venturing out to meet new ppl) Absolutely do not wait for her to come back to the relationship. I'd be really angry if someone offered up such a selfish demand. While she figures out what she wants or dates other people, you are supposed to wait for her to decide if she wants you back or not?!!! What a B*tch! (She sounds like me in my younger years -- and I was a B*tch) Seriously -- do not wait around for her, even if you do want her back, it is the worst thing you can do. Get out and meet people. One of the posters here had a great idea -- the "pick 3 things to do" and get out out out meeting people. Become more social with the possible new friends and absolutely -- Do not hestate to ask other girls out. You need to move on with you LIFE. I really hope you take this to heart and become a man of action!
Author loveinlife Posted July 6, 2007 Author Posted July 6, 2007 I've been doing fairly okay and rereading this thread bc i am feeling lonely again. Lots of my friends have met new ppl who they have become exclusive with, 3 so far. I feel that i still haven't been successful in this part of my life. I am concentrating more on myself and have loved it, the no drama and learning about who i am. I noticed that i was selfless in my last relationship and now i finally see what it is to take care of myself first. I hope i will do better as time passes and find my new passion in life that i will become successful and find eventually meet a wonderful person to share my life with.
AriaIncognito Posted July 6, 2007 Posted July 6, 2007 Loveinlife, You are far better off going down the road you are taking now. You are much better off finding happiness within yourself, so that when you DO meet someone, they simply add to your life, not make your life. It's so hard to not make a s/o the center of our worlds, but really, there needs to be a healthy balance. I've noticed that with my last relationships I've at least been able to balance all worlds so that when the relationships fell apart, I wasn't left standing in the rubble with nobody to turn to and nothing to do. In fact, I'm probably busier now meeting people and hanging out with friends that I don't have that much time to have a boyfriend. I feel it's really important that we build solid non-romantic relationships around us in order to gain some fulfillment, as well as find/maintain hobbies that will be with us for however long we are interested. Im doing what one poster mentioned above. I've joined a trivia night one night of the week, and I'm looking into joining a choir on night a week starting in the fall. Keeping yourself busy and around others who share similar interests will bring you a long way towards being happy with your life. Keep doing what youre doing. Just because 3 of your friends have found new relationships doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, and heck, they could end up broken hearted in a few months and you'll be saying wow I'm glad I'm not back there again... Silver linings my friend, silver linings....
Lostgurl Posted July 7, 2007 Posted July 7, 2007 Awww, Lovinlife, I'm sorry that your feeling so lonely. I can't offer you any words of advice, I just want to let you know that you aren't the only one in the boat.... Hope it helps at least alittle . I'm lonely too, but for only one person in particular, and not all of him either. Mainly the good times ....... It really sucks. doesn't it?
Green Posted July 7, 2007 Posted July 7, 2007 U need to pull some mind over matter, lonely is a state of mind. You cant let your hapiness rest in the hands of others, you need to draw comfort and joy from the people who decide to be a part of your life.
Lostgurl Posted July 7, 2007 Posted July 7, 2007 U need to pull some mind over matter, lonely is a state of mind. You cant let your hapiness rest in the hands of others, you need to draw comfort and joy from the people who decide to be a part of your life. Wow KMT! I'm a little shocked. But impressed nonetheless . That was a nice little piece of advice.
Author loveinlife Posted July 7, 2007 Author Posted July 7, 2007 Yeah, it sorta sucks Lost. Thanks for the advice KMT. Im going to call a few of my girl friends to go watch a movie, that'll keep me company for now. Thanks guys/girls.
Tormented Posted July 8, 2007 Posted July 8, 2007 i guess i feel like i want a relationship w someone who can give as much love as i do. Love, I don't there's a soul on this board that doesn't feel lonely sometimes...some more that others, but it's definitely something we ALL deal with. But the danger with loneliness is if you're not careful, you can do some things you'll regret later down the road. Like getting into a relationship with someone who is completely wrong for you and end up with a broken heart. Or allowing others to use you to avoid being alone. People who are prone to use/abuse/exploit can sniff lonliness in a person and WILL take full advantage of it...so be careful! There are worse things in this life than periodic lonliness. Try to ride it out, as hard as it may be. Just like everything else...this too will pass. Chin up, Love. ~T~
lonelybird Posted July 8, 2007 Posted July 8, 2007 I've been doing fairly okay and rereading this thread bc i am feeling lonely again. Lots of my friends have met new ppl who they have become exclusive with, 3 so far. I feel that i still haven't been successful in this part of my life. I am concentrating more on myself and have loved it, the no drama and learning about who i am. I noticed that i was selfless in my last relationship and now i finally see what it is to take care of myself first. I hope i will do better as time passes and find my new passion in life that i will become successful and find eventually meet a wonderful person to share my life with. loveinlife Happiness or peace or contentment are from within, not from outside. Friends and loving relationship can enhance and enrich our lives, but you depend your contentment or happiness on friends and loving relationship heavily, then you make yourself a prisoner. Many people is living under lot of bondages, don't have freedom although they think delusionally they are free, free to do whatever they want, but in fact they are captives of outside elements and negative thoughts. Real freedom comes from within (from God) as well. No matter what kind of circumstances, as long as you have the living water (Jesus) in your heart, you will never be thirsty. Do you see my member name? yes, I WAS lonely. But not now. I become happier each day, more content each day, I know I can have peace and love and contentment in my heart as long as I put my eyes on Lord. Hope you find your living water in your heart soon
Recommended Posts