daydreamerz Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 I have always been extremely shy even though I've definitely become more outgoing since I've come to college, but I still struggle with it. My freshman year was pretty rough because I was so homesick and I took me a long time to make friends, but now I'm in my third year and I have a great group of friends, who are the best friends I've ever had. Even though I love them more than anything and they have shown me more than once that they would do anything for me, I always have this weird fear that they don't really like me. I actually feel pretty stupid writing this, because I feel it sounds really juvenile, but I really want to get past this. I get extremely jealous of my friends having other friends, and I hate being like that. I'm a very jealous person in general and that's probably the thing I hate most about myself, but I'm not sure how to change. I find myself getting jealous/feeling left out a lot and I know it's my own doing, and that there's no one to blame but myself, but once I start feeling this it's hard to snap out of. I know that it's all a matter of self-esteem, which I know I don't have much of even though I think I have a lot more than I used to. I never feel like I'm good enough. I really don't like myself most of the time, so I can't understand why anyone else would, so I just assume that they don't. Ugh, I really just want to be able to move past this because I feel like it's really going to start effecting my relationships.
Trialbyfire Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Have you considered expanding your group of friends so that you're not reliant on a small group of friends? They don't have to be close friends, just people you have fun with.
bridget_jones Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Have you considered getting counseling? I think you have a very low self-esteem right now. Counseling has helped me greatly with my low self-esteem issues. Also if you project that you don't like yourself, others, such as your friends will start to believe negative things about you. I highly suggest counseling.
Author daydreamerz Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 Have you considered expanding your group of friends so that you're not reliant on a small group of friends? They don't have to be close friends, just people you have fun with. Yeah, I've actually been thinking about that because I think a lot of the problem has to do with me being around the same people all of the time. The thing is I live with these 5 girls, so often out of convenience I just tend to stick with them. I do have other friends outside of these girls, but most of them I don't really see on a regular basis. I've never really had a large circle of friends because I am very introverted and it takes me a long time to feel comfortable around people, which usually I'm ok with having just a few close friends, but I think it would help to have other people to hang out with sometimes. Have you considered getting counseling? I think you have a very low self-esteem right now. Counseling has helped me greatly with my low self-esteem issues. Also if you project that you don't like yourself, others, such as your friends will start to believe negative things about you. I highly suggest counseling. I have thought about counseling. I've discussed this with my mom a couple times and she keeps suggesting that I get counseling. I'm just not sure how I would feel about talking to a couple stranger about my problems in person. I would be kind of afraid that I would end up just sitting there the whole time in silence. Since I'm in school right now I could go to my school's counseling center, but I've heard from someone that they aren't very helpful there, so I'm not sure if I would want to find someone to talk to off campus instead.
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