WhiteKnight Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Hey everyone. Thought I would ask you something. I'm not sure if I posted this in the right section of the forum but anyways I'll explain. About 15 months ago, I had broken off from my ex-fiancee and was left in a huge pickle. Broken hearted etc. 'cause of her betrayal to the husband. At the end of 2006, I had cut all ties with her and continued working on my relationship. Pretty much in March 2007 this year, after unblocking her, strarting to talk normal etc. Seemed okay at best but anyways, despite of her saying she wanted an online friendship and me ignoring her request to give my mobile number details to her. I just stayed away. Anyhow, just recently. I want to fill you all in. I have a partner, very happy and moving on nicely at the moment. My ex-fiancee is happy to be good friends with me and despite whatever her claims are that her husband knows she is talking to me again is yet to be scene. Anyways, recently today I changed my Msn personal messaging status to... "I love you... Dedicated man to a nice loving woman... my love is eternal for you... " (this was of course intended for my partner) I did this before she logged on the net. After say about ten minutes later my ex was online, seemed okay etc. Then say about 5mins later after that I had noticed something on Msn acting weirdly, then I watched my ex went berserk. I didn't speak to her of course and just watch it all on Msn. She changed her Msn status like about 4 or 5 times. I'm wondering why she said that. One time she had... "I love you forever..." then changed it five minutes later, "I love Coynites..." and then five minutes later again "I love you... never let me go..." and then it changed again to "I love you..." I forgot what the last one was, but as soon as I told my friend close to her, I said 'goodnight' to him and then set my status on away. My ex went offline in a few mins after that. Coynites by the way is some race from Star Wars, just so you know. I was going to ask my ex-fiancee about the 'random' status changes but do you think I sparked something against her? I don't think I did. She might lie to me and cover it up but I think when she saw my Msn status, she seemed to have gone all Emo or crazy in a way. Obviously she doesn't know that I may have moved on etc. But what should I do? Should I confront her about it or just ignore it and continue on as per normal? Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.
LakesideDream Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Maybe it's time to stay of "MSN" for awhile and consentrate on real life, one on one communications with your current SO. Computers and mobile phones have added a new layer of problems in relationships. It's become very easy to be in contact with people that should really take a little effort, and a thought out choice to communicate with. Be carefull. This lady sounds a little unhinged.
Author WhiteKnight Posted April 1, 2007 Author Posted April 1, 2007 Hey LakesideDream I use MSN once in awhile to communicate with others online for Uni studies reasons and talk to people about it in general. Fair enough that my Msn is online there everyday but I think that staying offline for a week or so might help. With in regards to about the actions of my ex, she claims that she is a changed person and she had let go of her past. I don't believe in that to be honest. I think she lied to me based on the fact that she wants me to believe that she has changed. However you are right in that... online people can affect people in person (despite of their relationship status). I think that by keeping distance that I have been will work out. Also not giving her my contact details may give her a false impression, but maybe also something for her to consider that the damage had already been done and I don't look back from it and move on.
Island Girl Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Obviously she doesn't know that I may have moved on etc. But what should I do? Should I confront her about it or just ignore it and continue on as per normal? Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated. You could have a chat about what you two have been up to and let it slide that you have moved on and that you are truly happy. If you want to get the point across in a subtle way you could thank her for the two of you breaking up. Let her know that you would have stayed otherwise and never would have met who you were truly meant to be with -- your current SO. You know, say, "I should thank you. I know when we broke up it seemed to me like it was the wrong thing but you were indeed right. I have since met someone who is wonderful. I am happy and that never would have happened if we hadn't broken up. So thank you."
Trialbyfire Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 "I love you... Dedicated man to a nice loving woman... my love is eternal for you... " (this was of course intended for my partner) Why not just add something more person specific to your message? I don't know what your s/ns are but I'm guessing that the new person in your life has an s/n too. "I love you [insert s/n]...] This way there's no need to explain and no misunderstandings.
Island Girl Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Why not just add something more person specific to your message? I don't know what your s/ns are but I'm guessing that the new person in your life has an s/n too. "I love you [insert s/n]...] This way there's no need to explain and no misunderstandings. Ahhh. Good one TBF! (((she nods her head))) DO THIS!!!
Trialbyfire Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Ahhh. Good one TBF! (((she nods her head))) DO THIS!!! Thanks IG.
Author WhiteKnight Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 Yea I guess this is true as well. Good suggestion Trialbyfire. It would mean that my ex fiiancee would have to accept it and move on, also her stop being 'unhinged' towards me I think.
Island Girl Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Yea I guess this is true as well. Good suggestion Trialbyfire. It would mean that my ex fiiancee would have to accept it and move on, also her stop being 'unhinged' towards me I think. How is she your ex-fiance when she is already married? Did I miss something? In any event it is a perfect way to extinguish any thoughts that you are trying to send her messages - if she is thinking that -- and I think she is.
Author WhiteKnight Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 Well today I just changed my status to the way it was meant to be. My own declaration for my love to my partner, not my ex. And how is she my ex fiancee, well, long story. I rather not get into that. I sometimes call her my ex-gf but she is nothing more than the word "EX" lol... My ex fiancee as I noticed her, she modified her MSN. Its still the same old stuff she is doing. I can not trust her.
a4a Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Well today I just changed my status to the way it was meant to be. My own declaration for my love to my partner, not my ex. And how is she my ex fiancee, well, long story. I rather not get into that. I sometimes call her my ex-gf but she is nothing more than the word "EX" lol... My ex fiancee as I noticed her, she modified her MSN. Its still the same old stuff she is doing. I can not trust her. well if you love and are that dedicated to your current partner......... Lose the X. Tell her that you would prefer to have no contact with her, rid your life of her. This is trouble brewing and playing these silly MSN games is not good for her, you, or your current partner. Are you liking the attention?
Author WhiteKnight Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 Heh. The attention towards me? Maybe, but I don't mind. Attention towards her? Well that raises a few eyebrows if I truly know what she is doing. So I guess to level it with ya, I just let it slide but mind games can be frustrating and yea I agree, I don't need it. Furthermore, I think I will just tell her up front. Exactly how I feel about it and tell her to leave if she wants to cause trouble.
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