chill chic Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Just curious because there is a really nice restaurant/lounge close to where I work, but it's more happening at night of course. But would it seem strange for a girl to be there by herself? Or would you even go by yourself? The reason I ask is because I can't find any good friends that are interested in going there, because it's kinda high class, and some of my friends are into the bar scene/club thing. But I'm growing out of that phase I think, and want to be in a more "nice" setting to meet people. So..I don't know if I have any more options besides just going by myself. Would guys think it's strange? I could just order something to go, and see if a guy eyes me, and take it from there? I don't know, any ideas? I just want to hang out in a more classier setting than the trashy bar scene that sleezy guys hang out. It's not to say there aren't sleezy guys at other places, but they might be more subdude.
IpAncA Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 When I was in college I used to go to restaurants by myself. I didn't feel goofy or anything. But I wasn't going to meet people. I went to avoid people so I could for once sit by myself, eat, and not be distrubed.
Walk Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 I really enjoy going out by myself. Usually when I'm feeling more extroverted though... I don't know.. I just go, order a drink, maybe get something to eat if I'm hungry. I like to sit at the bar (even in the classy places) and chit chat with the bartender, or strike up convo's with the regulars sitting there. I've met the most interesting people doing that. But I don't do it to "find dates". I do it because I really enjoy learning about other people, and how they think and what's important in their lives. I met the coolest guy at this one place.. He was sitting at the bar talking about this boat he had and started telling stories about how his friends pushed him in the water.. It was funny. I was laughing so hard I was nearly crying. After a while the guy decides to leave.. Hops down off the bar stool into a wheel chair. He had no legs. Biggest arms I ever saw on a guy. Cute guy, was funny as hell. I probably never would've talked to him in any other situation because I would've felt too uncomfortable. Met a lot of people doing that.. lot of really good people with some extremely interesting stories to tell. But I do know, if you go with the express intent of finding a date, it'll be a sad, lonely, depressing time.
quankanne Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 sounds like an interesting way to spend an evening, especially if you like to people watch. I prefer to read, so eating alone in a restaurant is great. Have not done the bar thing, that'd be a little weird, but only because I'm not a drinker.
AHIWON Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I've gone out alone to pubs ect alone many times in the past. I just started doing that again. I've met tonnes of very interesting people that way. I did it last night. Went to a local pub and met a bunch of men and women. Had a blast. I'll likely go back next weekend too.
ddnnee Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 occasionally i would lounge about in restaurants, but only when i bring my brother and sister along. makes good company.
DanielMadr Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I really enjoy going out by myself. Usually when I'm feeling more extroverted though... I don't know.. I just go, order a drink, maybe get something to eat if I'm hungry. I like to sit at the bar (even in the classy places) and chit chat with the bartender, or strike up convo's with the regulars sitting there. I've met the most interesting people doing that. But I don't do it to "find dates". I do it because I really enjoy learning about other people, and how they think and what's important in their lives. I met the coolest guy at this one place.. He was sitting at the bar talking about this boat he had and started telling stories about how his friends pushed him in the water.. It was funny. I was laughing so hard I was nearly crying. After a while the guy decides to leave.. Hops down off the bar stool into a wheel chair. He had no legs. Biggest arms I ever saw on a guy. Cute guy, was funny as hell. I probably never would've talked to him in any other situation because I would've felt too uncomfortable. Met a lot of people doing that.. lot of really good people with some extremely interesting stories to tell. But I do know, if you go with the express intent of finding a date, it'll be a sad, lonely, depressing time. Welcome to Lone Wolf Club, Walk )) When I go alone to these places I usually meet lot of very strange guys who are....gay
princessa Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I've always dreamed of going places by myself.. But I can never bring myself to do it.. mostly because even when I'm with people I get approached by all kinds of freaks.. So I'm scared that the freaks would multiply if they saw me alone..... Also I'm scared of feeling lonely just hanging around a bunch of people socializing among themselves..
IfWishesWereHorses Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I go to restaurants alone all of the time. Even when I could call a friend to meet me, sometimes I just like going alone. I don't go to get picked up or even to have idle chit chat with strangers. I wouldn't do just any bar alone, but wouldn't feel strange about going into one where I know the staff and some of the regulars. If I was a guy it would be different but as a woman it defeats the purpose since I'm not trying to get picked up. I prefer restaurant bars if going alone than actual clubs. If it feels strange to you, then you could start small and work your way up to nicer places as you become more comfortable with it.
DanielMadr Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 If it feels strange to you, then you could start small and work your way up to nicer places as you become more comfortable with it. ...backyard for example:D
ruby_gloom Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Oh, I do. I used to do it a lot more often when I had the money to spare. I'll have to admit that there were sometimes when I did feel a little out of place, mostly when there were a bunch of couples and such and I was just right there--all by myself. I was just being self-conscious, though, by thinking that the entire room was staring at me, thinking that I was a weirdo, murmuring things, snickering, etc. It was all in my head, though. The truth was that no one cared if I was there alone or if I was waiting for someone or whatever. They were just enjoying their meals, and if by chance I happened to catch the gaze of someone, they would smile warmly and I would do the same. I think that this is a very nice thing to do every now and then. It gives you some time to just relax, eat, have a drink, and have some conversations with yourself (although I'd adivise that you keep them inside your head). The thing is that most people are put off by the fact of going anywhere alone for fear that others will think they are a "loser" for being a "loner." It's important to remember, I think, that the only people who would think things like that (or point and snicker because--omg--you're out in public by yourself!) are people who are extremely juvenile. Why keep on feeding their immaturity, anyway? Whatever. Oh, and, like ipanca, while I enjoy doing this from time to time, I don't do it to meet people; usually when I do this it's to try to get away from people . . . if only away from the table where I want to eat. Good enough. And lastly, like princessa, sometimes I do get approached by nasty guys who are so obviously trying to pick me up or some sort of sick sh.t like that, but in settings where you are inside amongst a generally large group of people, I find that it's enough to be secure while telling them to f.ck off or something more nice, perhaps. It's happened the few times I've gone to bars by myself, too, but I just tell them I'm not interested in whatever they're talking about and just go sit somewhere else if they are being annoying. Bars are tricker, though, in that some psycho can got crazy. For bars, especially late late at night, I think going with others is best, if only to ensure your safety.
LoveLace Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 I've gone to many bars/restaurants/clubs,etc. alone...I've had people say I'm TOO ballsy about it. I've had people say, gosh I could never do that. It doesn't bother me in the slightest though. Even a "nice" place like that should have a bar area, you could always sit at the bar and eat, have a drink...that might feel more adequate than sitting at an actual table alone. Plus if men want to talk to you, sitting at the bar would make it pretty obvious that you are alone..and available! Also, people in the restaurant industry wait on solo customers all the time, so they don't even think twice about it. I used to be a waitress and had lone customers a lot.
Trialbyfire Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 The only times I've ever been in a restaurant by myself are the nights I arrive on business trips. It's wonderful to get off the plane and get to the hotel. If it's dinner time, I'll head down to the hotel restaurant and enjoy the atmosphere. I usually see other people alone as well, where most of us have laptops, magazines, PDAs or newspapers. If I'm at a restaurant with someone(s) and I notice people on their own, it doesn't bother me or make me wonder if they're odd or weird. I look at them and look away, the same as the people at the table next to me. It's no big deal.
longlegzs80 Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Chill Chic, I would definitly go by myself if I were you. I have been in your situation before and instead of waiting for people to go with me, I figure if I want to go, I go. I found too, when I would go out by myself I would meet people. So, just go and have fun. I look at it too, like there could be opportunities of meeting people you connect with or whatever and that is why I don't pass up the opportunities. WEll, that is my story. Take care and have fun.
Rooster_DAR Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I do it all the time, I'm not scared. In fact, it's one of the reasons why I have a new circle of friends and have a new girlfriend.
Author chill chic Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 Chill Chic, I would definitly go by myself if I were you. I have been in your situation before and instead of waiting for people to go with me, I figure if I want to go, I go. I found too, when I would go out by myself I would meet people. So, just go and have fun. I look at it too, like there could be opportunities of meeting people you connect with or whatever and that is why I don't pass up the opportunities. WEll, that is my story. Take care and have fun. It's good to hear that it's worked for you. And you're right about if no one else wants to go, then I'd rather just go by myself. at first I'll be a lil nervous because I don't think I've ever gone to a place like that by myself. how long do you stay for? lol. and you're right, I don't want to pass up opportunites, some things you just gotta do on your own if you really want it
AHIWON Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 It's a good exercise for over coming fear and building self confidence too. And you might just have fun. I do.
Author chill chic Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 I've always dreamed of going places by myself.. But I can never bring myself to do it.. mostly because even when I'm with people I get approached by all kinds of freaks.. So I'm scared that the freaks would multiply if they saw me alone..... Also I'm scared of feeling lonely just hanging around a bunch of people socializing among themselves.. true..so what if a freak comes up to me, I give him a weird look and then all the other guys see my reaction & think I'm a snob? I guess you just have to tell the freak to get lost politely eh?
AHIWON Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 "fu@k off" should suffice. Don't give the weirdos a second thought.
Author chill chic Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 "fu@k off" should suffice. Don't give the weirdos a second thought. in response to your first quote, I do believe it can give me more self-confidence. and definitely a good way to help me in my career as an insurance agent just starting out. it will be good practice! secondly, yah you got that right, I usually just give them the sarcastic smirk & roll my eyes, and they lay off
2ndIINone Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Not only have I gone to a lounge by myself...... I prefer it. Go when I want, leave when I want. I'ma people watcher as well. I always seem to find one or two attractive women that get hit on all night by guys. Get a kick outta watching that for some reason. But feel bad for the ladies. Men can be horndogs at the bars/clubs/lounges. I would assume, you'd be a prime target sitting by yourself.... so be prepared. When I go with friends, I never get approached.... but when I go alone, it takes about 10-15 minutes before I start hearing.... "Why are you sitting here by yourself?" or... "You look lonely, do you mind if I sit here?" So again, be prepared... cause you'll be more approachable sitting by yourself. Think about it..... very few guys will step up to you while you're with all your friends and risk getting rejected in front of them. It's safer to approach you when you're alone. No witnesses. G'luck.... have fun.
Walk Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Welcome to Lone Wolf Club, Walk )) When I go alone to these places I usually meet lot of very strange guys who are....gay Hahaha... I can completely identify with that. When I'm out and about alone I tend to run into the lesbians. They love me. Not sure why, but lesbians find me irresitable. (probably because I'm little and cute.) Maybe it's because you transcend beyond the "just a good looking guy" and so you appeal to the masses?
DanielMadr Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Hahaha... I can completely identify with that. When I'm out and about alone I tend to run into the lesbians. They love me. Not sure why, but lesbians find me irresitable. (probably because I'm little and cute.) Maybe it's because you transcend beyond the "just a good looking guy" and so you appeal to the masses? Yeah I certainly do I dont know how lesbians think but Im sure if I would be one Id go for you too;) We dont have much Africans in our country but I found out when I meet some we understand each other really good. They are laid back and cool, its always a pleasure to meet them. And hookers. They love me too. I never try their services, just a chit chat and flirt on sidewalk.Maybe I should:confused: Sweet girls they are:) So. Gays, Homeless people, Hookers, Africans, old people and children love me. The rest probably hates me:D
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