luvstarved Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 My H said that "any guy will tell you the same thing" so I'm checking it out!! My H is very attractive, women just LOVE to tell me that. I am attractive too but objectively speaking, not quite in his league. Thing is, I am a down-to-earth, jeans, no makeup and no high heels sort of woman...and he is very athletic and just...well damn good looking. My own nephew said that if he were gay, he'd be hot for him!!! Well, here is the question. Sometimes when we are out and talking to other people, I notice that women who are more "girly" than me, all made up and babelicious, if you will, seem to make a point of trying to get my H's attention (flouncing hair, moving in subtle ways to show off the merchandise, touching his arm, etc) and THEN giving ME a little "victory vibe" like HA! I could have him if I wanted him. I gotta admit, this pisses me off to no end. Anyway, this sort of incident just happened, and I told my H about how it pisses me off. He said that he was entirely aware of that dynamic, that he actually could not stand that in women either and that that is why he married me instead of someone like that! But...and here is the part I wonder about.. He also said that when these women were not around someone to try to make jealous (either me or their own H), then it was a different story altogether and in that case they barely would give him the time of day. In other words, they only give him that attention when I am around and otherwise just treat him normally, if they acknowledge him at all. Can any of you guys confirm or deny this? I'm just curious...
Trialbyfire Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 I'm not a guy but I will say, I've barely met any female who doesn't have a small portion of meow mix in her diet.
Tony T Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Can any of you guys confirm or deny this? I'm just curious... I have not spent a great deal of time with your husband so I wouldn't be able to help you there. However, your town seems to have more than it's share of bxtches without a life. Where do you live and what routes can I use to get around it?
Author luvstarved Posted April 1, 2007 Author Posted April 1, 2007 I have not spent a great deal of time with your husband so I wouldn't be able to help you there. However, your town seems to have more than it's share of bxtches without a life. Where do you live and what routes can I use to get around it? I suppose I should have qualified that I was wondering if other men could confirm or deny whether this phenomenon was observed in THEIR OWN LIVES!! Where women treat you MUCH more attentively when there is an SO around to try to make jealous...
Horse Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 BS on the part where he says he can't stand it. Totally confirmed in the other part. It's old news for men that it's a lot easier to pick up women if you already have one. The hotter your girlfriend is, the more other hot chicks will go after you. Irony sucks sometimes.
Island Girl Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 BS on the part where he says he can't stand it. Totally confirmed in the other part. It's old news for men that it's a lot easier to pick up women if you already have one. The hotter your girlfriend is, the more other hot chicks will go after you. Irony sucks sometimes. So completely true. And if the woman catches a great looking man with a somehow less attractive female (this is all in the bitch/cattiness assessment which is done with a momentary glance) there is the perception that he will be easily caught by the more attractive woman. Again - she views herself as more attractive. Completely basing it on her own perception and not a man's perception of what is attractive. The differences in those two perceptions of attractiveness can be astounding. OP, I feel for you. My husband is incredible looking and even when we go to the grocery store these young women can't seem to keep from attempting to gain his attention. He was a professional athlete and loves to work out. I am very attractive but I am NOT a "gym girl". So the "hard bodies" tend to be the worst offenders. Especially if I meet him at the gym to keep him company and watch the rest of his workout. I have gotten to the point now where I think it is hilarious and he brushes them off quite quickly by introducing me very lovingly and putting his arm around me in this really great sort of protective gentle way. You can almost see their eyes flipping backwards in their heads as they try to figure out why their world isn't making any sense.
Yamaha Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 BS on the part where he says he can't stand it. Totally confirmed in the other part. It's old news for men that it's a lot easier to pick up women if you already have one. The hotter your girlfriend is, the more other hot chicks will go after you. Irony sucks sometimes. Totally true. This is why married men say that they get so much more attention from women than when they were single.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 I've listened to single guys talking about wearing wedding rings to have a better chance at attracting women.
Author luvstarved Posted April 1, 2007 Author Posted April 1, 2007 BS on the part where he says he can't stand it. Totally confirmed in the other part. It's old news for men that it's a lot easier to pick up women if you already have one. The hotter your girlfriend is, the more other hot chicks will go after you. Irony sucks sometimes. He did not put it this way, but I think the reason he "can't stand it" is because he has been with women like that who continue to try to attract men, even in his presence...so I don't think it is that he can't stand that sort of attention, he just can't stand that sort of attention directed elsewhere!! And now "can't stand" that sort of woman because he has been BURNED by that sort He seems to have a certain hostility for good looking women and rails about their vanity, etc, and I have a feeling that he is more comfortable with me because I am NOT a center-of-attention-needing flirt. However, I would not be surprised to learn that this is exactly the sort of woman he envisions when he is playing alone in the shower...only she is begging him to let her please him...only HIM...
stillafool Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 I understand exactly what you are saying. My H is extremely good looking also and women are constantly trying to get his attention. Lucky for me he would never let anyone disrespect me, but I can't get over these bit-ches who do that.
StayClose Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 That's funny... A lot of women claim that how good looking a guy is isn't a factor in how much they're attracted to him. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t111019/
a4a Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I deal with the same crap with my H. I hear the he is so good looking. I speak up and say " yep I cleaned him up, you should have seen how I found him. I do good work". :lmao: Actually H cannot stand the incapable big hair chicks either. Makes fun of them, I deal with the same sorta crap. I think it is hilarious.
jmargel Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 My H said that "any guy will tell you the same thing" so I'm checking it out!! My H is very attractive, women just LOVE to tell me that. I am attractive too but objectively speaking, not quite in his league. Thing is, I am a down-to-earth, jeans, no makeup and no high heels sort of woman...and he is very athletic and just...well damn good looking. My own nephew said that if he were gay, he'd be hot for him!!! Well, here is the question. Sometimes when we are out and talking to other people, I notice that women who are more "girly" than me, all made up and babelicious, if you will, seem to make a point of trying to get my H's attention (flouncing hair, moving in subtle ways to show off the merchandise, touching his arm, etc) and THEN giving ME a little "victory vibe" like HA! I could have him if I wanted him. I gotta admit, this pisses me off to no end. Anyway, this sort of incident just happened, and I told my H about how it pisses me off. He said that he was entirely aware of that dynamic, that he actually could not stand that in women either and that that is why he married me instead of someone like that! But...and here is the part I wonder about.. He also said that when these women were not around someone to try to make jealous (either me or their own H), then it was a different story altogether and in that case they barely would give him the time of day. In other words, they only give him that attention when I am around and otherwise just treat him normally, if they acknowledge him at all. Can any of you guys confirm or deny this? I'm just curious... Actually what's I find strange is that when I am out with my wife I find more women looking at me and smiling, etc.. and I think it's because they don't notice the guy.. They notice the girl on the guy's arm which then makes them think 'He must be one hell of a catch'. lol Reminds me of one night a few months ago, I was at the bar with my wife, these two chicks were standing close to us, I noticed one that kept glancing over at me. When my wife went to the bathroom, the one came upto me, tug me back the back of my hair (she was behind me) and was pretty up front on what she wanted to do with me. I was kinda taken back by it all and when I mentioned it to my wife she told me to just take it as a compliment and laughed it off. Eh.. anyway, women like a challenge. They want what they can't have. Granted not all women are like this, but alot are and alot of my female friends have admitted this. Oh.. and about your husband not liking the attention. I call BS on that one. Though I would never cheat on my wife, it's still an ego boost to have another woman desire you.
VinaAmez Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Eh.. anyway, women like a challenge. They want what they can't have. Granted not all women are like this, but alot are and alot of my female friends have admitted this. Oh yeah I'll agree to that. Men IMO are hotter when taken. I don't know why but they just are.
Author luvstarved Posted April 3, 2007 Author Posted April 3, 2007 OK so this is pretty much confirmed by the guys... but here is the followup. It seems then that it isn't so much that these women are interested in obtaining the guy than they are in winning the competition with the other woman. Given that, doesn't it kind of take the ooomph out of the ego boost? I realize that a serial cheater wouldn't give a crap what the woman's motives were as long as he got some, but for normal guys...doesn't the fact that you are being "used" just to goad your SO make you feel...so violated and unclean?
Curmudgeon Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Any kind of game playing make me feel scornful. I wouldn't permit it to make me feel negative in any way. It says everything about the players and nothing about me. I believe I qualify as a normal guy, just somewhat older than most, if not here.
Porn_Guy Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Totally true. This is why married men say that they get so much more attention from women than when they were single. Its just like employment YAMAHA....its a lot easier to get a new job when you already have one.
jmargel Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 OK so this is pretty much confirmed by the guys... but here is the followup. It seems then that it isn't so much that these women are interested in obtaining the guy than they are in winning the competition with the other woman. Given that, doesn't it kind of take the ooomph out of the ego boost? I realize that a serial cheater wouldn't give a crap what the woman's motives were as long as he got some, but for normal guys...doesn't the fact that you are being "used" just to goad your SO make you feel...so violated and unclean? Nope.. because we all know how women are. They wouldn't be worth thinking twice about them to me. It's an ego boost to me that I have someone worthy of being with me and all these other women can do is act immature.
Ruby Tuesday Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Take this advice from an old married lady. There are opportunists EVERYWHERE you go. It doesnt matter if you live in NYC or Bumfu*ck Idaho. Also, you should trust your gut instincts (about what you believe about these women hitting on your man) because INSTINCTS are right on the mark. I would bet good money if you weren't around these women would (try to) take it even further. Geography means nothing either. You would think that after moving from the big city to a little township the country that there would be less opportunity and less competition but you would be wrong. My husband almost ruined our family with an affair with an average looking, fourty-something divorcee from NOWHERE. A nothing. A nobody. A creep loser MILF with three kids and a mortgage and that's all it took to change my life. I know from her own words that she made the first move. Ha. Ha. Poor me. Never thought it would happen to me. The one thing I had then, that I dont have anymore, was a strong belief that my husband would never cheat on me, and now I will never (ever) feel the same about him having female friends ever again. The pretty man thing is understandable, but if he gets to the point where he needs this attention to feel good about himself (getting off on it) then beware beware. It's that emotional immaturity that thing that is broken inside them (and given opportunist's) that is a contributing factor in WS affairs.
Topper Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Women can be very competitive with each other. Many want to feel like they are so attractive that they can get any man they want. That means any man. A taken man is just more of a challenge. In other words they want to prove that they are an Alfa female. Now I would say 9 times out of 10 once they have the taken mans attention that's the end of it. Their ego is satisfied. They get to send out the vibe, see I could have had him if I wanted him. If you ask a lot of guys will tell you that once they havea girlfriend More woman seem interested in him.
shellys-trying Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Oh yeah I'll agree to that. Men IMO are hotter when taken. I don't know why but they just are. I don't even look at other guys (whether they're nice looking or whatever)to see if they're M or in a relationship. I'm M myself, so I keep my nose outa other peoples H's or BF's. I've had enough trouble outa my own man. I certainly don't need someone elses, even just to gawk or lust at.
TheMeatloafJuggler Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 He also said that when these women were not around someone to try to make jealous (either me or their own H), then it was a different story altogether and in that case they barely would give him the time of day. In other words, they only give him that attention when I am around and otherwise just treat him normally, if they acknowledge him at all. Can any of you guys confirm or deny this? I'm just curious... No offense, but your husband is lying to you. But not in a negative way. He probably gets double the attention alone but what good does that do for you if you know that? He probably knows it's a sensitive issue for you and if he told you the truth, that would only upset you and he'd have to pay for that down the road. As a guy, I can tell you one of the first things you learn after a few relationships is to limit how much you "pay" for things out of your control. If I had a best friend and he made a nasty comment to my girlfriend, well is she going to give him grief? No, that would be way too simple, instead she is going to nag me about it. Doesn't matter what I did or who is really at fault, I "pay" for it. This is why you see males kind of tiptoe around their friends wives, it's an unspoken rule, you don't do anything to give your buddies grief, even indirectly, even unintentionally. Your husband is trying to do what's going to save your personal grief in this matter and to reduce the amount of backlash he might have to take over something that's not really his fault. A good looking guy is a good looking guy. The attention doesn't stop, in fact, when you aren't there, it probably amps up because alot of women won't make the approach if they know you are there. Once you aren't there, it's a different story. So however many women you see fawning on your husband, multiple it by three and that's probably reality for when you aren't there. All I can say is good for your husband. There are lots of guys out there, married or otherwise, who don't attract anyone, and their spouses or such treat them accordingly. A guy with alot of female attention will never have sex used as a weapon against him. (Not saying that you would) Thats why I feel is really essential for guys to keep it together, stay in shape, be good earners, don't leave anything to chance. Because once you let it all go as a guy, then you start to lose your leverage in the relationship, you begin to put yourself in a position to be taken for granted because your spouse or such knows you can't get all that much out there anymore in your condition. When you compete, you are really competing against yourself. MLJ
VinaAmez Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I don't even look at other guys (whether they're nice looking or whatever)to see if they're M or in a relationship. I'm M myself, so I keep my nose outa other peoples H's or BF's. I've had enough trouble outa my own man. I certainly don't need someone elses, even just to gawk or lust at. Well I didn't say that I went around lusting after other men. I have no reason or desire to.
Karma24 Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 My own nephew said that if he were gay, he'd be hot for him!!! Riiiiiiiiight. If he were gay.
shellys-trying Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Well I didn't say that I went around lusting after other men. I have no reason or desire to. Well, I don't think my response implied anyone did. What it did imply was that I don't. Your point is?
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