Lauriebell82 Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 update for u guys: i'm finally meeting my boyfriend's parents this weekend!!! wow i'm so nervous! i've met other ex bfs parents before but this is so different because its out of town like 5 hours away! any advice for me? what did everyone do when they first met their bfs parents? i talked to his mom on the phone and she said she is so excited to finally meet me! advice would be wonderful!
VinaAmez Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Oh how exciting. I was nervous myself but I'm a social butterfly so I jumped right in. To be honest I really didn't care. Plus I treat everyone like I've known them for years which isn't always good. Oh well sue me...I like talking to people.:p BTW you'll be fine.
Walk Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Wow. How exciting. How nerve racking! Maybe take something with you as a gift. You having dinner there? Maybe wine or if you make bread... Ask your bf what his parents like. Maybe he can help you pick something out. He'll know what's best. I just try to be myself. I compliment the parents for raising a good son. Let them know I appreciate how good he is to me... What a great guy I think he is.. And I ask a lot of questions to keep the focus on the parents. Like things they like, their interests, hobbies, experiences... Show interest in what they're talking about. etc. etc.. You'll do fine. I think it's worse "knowing" you'll meet them. keep repeating positive things in your head. Otherwise you'll build up too much anxiety over the situation.
Trialbyfire Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 When a guy introduces you to his parents, they're pretty serious. It's nice to hear about good things too. Be yourself. Don't worry about it. His mother is excited to meet you too, which is also a very good sign. I agree with bringing a gift, if it's for dinner. Something small like wine or flowers. Ask your b/f what they like. If they don't drink, you know not to bring wine.
bridget_jones Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Is he going to make you pay half for gas to drive there?
Author Lauriebell82 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 Is he going to make you pay half for gas to drive there? this is a happy thread (hence the title), therefore dont post in here if u dont have something nice to say. as for everyone else who posted nice things, thanks for the idea about the gift. we are having dinner there, but his parents dont drink so i cant bring them wine. i've never met a bfs parents as an adult (well i'm 24) who lived out of town so i'm real nervous about what to do. i'm not sure what kind of gift i could give them. bread is a good idea, although i'm not really that great of a cook. any ideas? i'm so nervous!
bridget_jones Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I was just remembering that you posted that he made you pay exactly half of everything when you went out, and you are a struggling student and he is making big bucks as an accountant, yet still does the dutch thing. You had stated that that bothered you. I thought that was odd. So it was a serious question.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 I was just remembering that you posted that he made you pay exactly half of everything when you went out, and you are a struggling student and he is making big bucks as an accountant, yet still does the dutch thing. You had stated that that bothered you. I thought that was odd. So it was a serious question. i dont pay 50/50 for everything. usually he'll pay on dates actually, its little stuff that we do (like go get fast food, or stuff at the grocery store) that i just pay for myself. but he would NEVER expect me to pay for gas when he invited me for the weekend to his parents. although sometimes it does bother me that he doesnt pay for everything because i am used to guys doing that. he is the first bf i have had that doesnt insist on paying for every little thing all the time. so i guess its just new.
Ripples Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 How about flowers, or, as you're travelling quite a way, an exotic plant? An orchid would do nicely; you could choose a pretty pot for it as well.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 How about flowers, or, as you're travelling quite a way, an exotic plant? An orchid would do nicely; you could choose a pretty pot for it as well. well it is a 5 hour drive..as for a plant thats a good idea however i'm a little strapped for cash because i'm a broke grad student so is there anything kind of inexpensive that i could get them?
allina Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 I hope it went well. I agree with bringing flowers, a little potted orchid is always great. My SO's parents live all the way across the country so each time I see them it's more of a special occasion, not just stopping by or something, I think it can make it feel like more of a big deal. I'm sure you'll have a great time, keep up updated.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 I hope it went well. I agree with bringing flowers, a little potted orchid is always great. My SO's parents live all the way across the country so each time I see them it's more of a special occasion, not just stopping by or something, I think it can make it feel like more of a big deal. I'm sure you'll have a great time, keep up updated. do u know how much they are? like i said money is a huge issue for me.
allina Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 do u know how much they are? like i said money is a huge issue for me. $10-$15, don't get anything huge or fancy, a small, simple gift is the way to go. Do you have a Trader Joe's or Whole Foods market around? They usually have beautiful, cheap orchids and similar plants.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 $10-$15, don't get anything huge or fancy, a small, simple gift is the way to go. Do you have a Trader Joe's or Whole Foods market around? They usually have beautiful, cheap orchids and similar plants. all there is around here (i live in pa) is giant eagle, walmart, shop and save. giant eagle is going to be mega expensive because that place is through the roof. should i buy it before we leave and bring it with me? or buy it at the grocery store there? sorry i'm new at this!!!
allina Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 all there is around here (i live in pa) is giant eagle, walmart, shop and save. giant eagle is going to be mega expensive because that place is through the roof. should i buy it before we leave and bring it with me? or buy it at the grocery store there? sorry i'm new at this!!! I'm not really familiar with those stores but I'm sure you can find something. I would just buy it before you leave, since it's potted you can water it and it will be fine for the drive. Plus you don't want to be running around once you get there, you don't know the area and it may be a bit stressful.
funkify Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Ohh that's so sweet. Well, you seem like a lovely girl so you won't have any problems. Just be yourself, be polite and friendly, help out around the kitchen if needed. Let us know how you go. It is special when you meet the parents of someone you care about
Author Lauriebell82 Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 so i asked my bf about a gift idea and he was like "ur going to bring them a gift? its not their birthday or anything!" lol he's so funny, he's never brought a girl home before (his ex gf was from his hometown so she already knew his parents). he told me to bring his parents flowers, daffadills (sp?) are his mom's favorite he said. i think he may be getting nervous about it because he has been acting a little weird. he picked a fight with me the other day over something stupid. another thing i was curious about that i thought i'd run by u guys..this may not be a big deal i'm not sure. apparantly we are going to be sleeping in his brother's room because its bigger than his...together in the same bed. i guess his parents are ok with that, but is that weird? i'm going to feel strange doing that. i offered to sleep somewhere else, and thats kind of how my bf and i got into it the other day. should i just go along with it? has anyone else experienced this (slept in the same bed at parents when ur just dating)? this seems a little odd to me, but should i just go with the flow?
dropdeadlegs Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I felt odd when I was 18 and slept in the same bed, but his parents were very cool and very aware that we were sleeping together although it had never been discussed. Now it wouldn't bother me at all, but I think it would still bother my parents. Several years ago, probably about 9 years, my sister and I visited my parents for the Christmas holidays. I was married, my sister was divorced but living with her then boyfriend (now husband.) My parents would not allow them to sleep in the same room and my sister was 31. I thought it was ridiculous and I would have stayed in a motel under those circumstances. I've even had sex in my parents home while visiting if the mood struck me. Maybe they have changed, I don't really know. Last week I saw my father, who is now 67, was sporting an earring in his left earlobe. I never saw that coming. Very strange indeed. I wouldn't think anything of allowing my unmarried children to sleep with their significant other. I expect that they are having sex. I think flowers are a lovely idea. In this day manners are not what they used to be but a gift of flowers is completely appropriate, regardless of your BF's opinion. It may not be necessary, but I think it's a lovely gesture. To me, meeting parents isn't what it used to be. I met my BF's father on our first date because he lived next door and was outside when I arrived. (Yes, I drove to his house as I have a strange need to have a getaway car even though the date involved going out on his motorcycle, leaving me helpless at that point, but that's another discussion.) He met my parents the first time they rode into town after we began dating. Parents are just people too, especially as you get older. I have never felt that I was frowned upon, but I am a friendly and gregarious person who can chat with almost anyone. I'm sure you will do fine, and congratulations on this milestone in your relationship, Lauriebell. I know it's significant for you.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 To me, meeting parents isn't what it used to be. I met my BF's father on our first date because he lived next door and was outside when I arrived. (Yes, I drove to his house as I have a strange need to have a getaway car even though the date involved going out on his motorcycle, leaving me helpless at that point, but that's another discussion.) He met my parents the first time they rode into town after we began dating. Parents are just people too, especially as you get older. I have never felt that I was frowned upon, but I am a friendly and gregarious person who can chat with almost anyone. I'm sure you will do fine, and congratulations on this milestone in your relationship, Lauriebell. I know it's significant for you. yeah i agree with u..i never saw the big deal in the whole "meet the parents" type thing. i think it is more significant for him because i guess it symbolizes something big to him. i on the other hand introduced him to my parents when we went on our first date. its a huge deal to him though, because when we first started seeing each other he told me that he "doesnt bring girls home." (which he never has, i'm the first) so thats why i am just meeting them almost 8 months later. thanks for ur insight on the whole sleeping in the same bed thing. my parents dont feel that way, so maybe thats why i find it odd. they wont ever let me sleep in the same room as any of my bfs if they slept over. its weird though because my mom knows we sleep together and helps me pay for bc cause insurance doesnt cover it. she said she just doenst want to be in the house when that happens. i guess i shouldnt worry about this so much, but since i am the first girl for him to bring home its extra pressure to make a good impression on his parents!
allina Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 another thing i was curious about that i thought i'd run by u guys..this may not be a big deal i'm not sure. apparantly we are going to be sleeping in his brother's room because its bigger than his...together in the same bed. i guess his parents are ok with that, but is that weird? i'm going to feel strange doing that. i offered to sleep somewhere else, and thats kind of how my bf and i got into it the other day. should i just go along with it? has anyone else experienced this (slept in the same bed at parents when ur just dating)? this seems a little odd to me, but should i just go with the flow? I'm not a guy, sorry But here is my view on sleeping together at an SO's parents. He probably knows his parents attitude about the situation, so go ahead and sleep in bed with him, unless it makes YOU really uncomfortable. When I used to go to my ex's family beach house we would sleep in the same bed and it was no big deal, his parents even said "it's okay! go hot tubbing naked!" when I told them I forgot my bathing suit. But when he stayed at my parents they requested that he sleep in the guest room, so he did. My current SO would be allowed to sleep with me at my parents because they like him a lot more and think he's the one, plus they know we live together anyways
Star Gazer Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Ooooh how fun for you, LB!! Okay, my words of advice: Dress relatively conservatively - no cleavage, belly, or lots of leg exposed - but not like an old lady. Ask questions, be attentive - interested in them and interesting yourself. Smile a lot. Compliment their son, home, cooking, whatever. Seem appreciative of the opportunity to meet them. But most importantly, just be yourself! :-) Also, assuming you know they actually drink, I think bringing a bottle of wine would be perfect. You can all enjoy it TOGETHER. :-)
allina Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Also, assuming you know they actually drink, I think bringing a bottle of wine would be perfect. You can all enjoy it TOGETHER. :-) Wine is a great thing to bring but she specifically stated that his parents did not drink.
bridget_jones Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 I've been with bf's whose parents expected we would sleep in the same bed, and others where I had a separate room. It's never been something to give me a second thought because it's usually only for a couple days and as long as we are visiting, I have no problem respecting their wishes.
Author Lauriebell82 Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 Wine is a great thing to bring but she specifically stated that his parents did not drink. yeah they dont drink..actually its against their religion. my bf drinks however, and they dont actually know he does. but thats another story completely. i am going to go with the flowers though, thats what my bf said his mom would like. thanks for ur help!
allina Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 yeah they dont drink..actually its against their religion. my bf drinks however, and they dont actually know he does. but thats another story completely. i am going to go with the flowers though, thats what my bf said his mom would like. thanks for ur help! The only thing I'd be cautious with is religion, as they seem very religious, but maybe that's just me, I'm uncomfortable around super religious people.
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