Author Sunny629 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 I will say sorry, Sunny!! I misinterpreted and now see the error of my ways. Thank you! No worries.
Author Sunny629 Posted April 2, 2007 Author Posted April 2, 2007 Absolutely. Kudos for having balls (in a metaphorical sense, of course). Thanks! Now today... we are back at work... and I know that he is super-busy... Given the circumstances (and his busy-ness), would it be normal to expect him to be a little distant - a distance that wasn't there before? And... will we eventually be able to be comfortable talking again? We do have a good rapport.
Author Sunny629 Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 And... will we eventually be able to be comfortable talking again? We do have a good rapport. This is so sad... I'm quoting myself. Alas, all flirtiness aside with him (I get it - the flirting has subsided and it is what needed to happen right now)... and this question is for the guys... will we eventually be able to chat again? (not flirt, per se, because of his situation) But will he feel more comfortable around me again? Also - again, guys only, please - is this distance normal after this kind of revelation? He is greeting me in the corridors (which he hadn't done before), but hasn't stopped by lately (which is fine). I'm just trying to gauge the situation. I am very naive when it comes to matters of the opposite sex and whatnot. I've dated very little and only had one very long-term relationship. And I don't have a big brother. I have a younger brother who was more sheltered than me - which is hard to believe! lol Thanks!
tanbark813 Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 The awkwardness will most likely subside after a little while. Aside from the situation between you two he might also feel a little guilty with regard to the girl he's seeing. That is, he may not want to be considered flirting with someone else at work when he's already seeing someone. Plus, this is all happening in the workplace which makes it that much more sensitive. Give it a few weeks and you guys will probably start chatting again. The less you act weird about it the less likely he will as well.
Author Sunny629 Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 So, basically, just be a friend and he'll (probably) be OK again? (when I say "be", I mean, just be like it was before but without the subtle flirting)
tanbark813 Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 So, basically, just be a friend and he'll (probably) be OK again? (when I say "be", I mean, just be like it was before but without the subtle flirting) Yeah. Just be cool.
Author Sunny629 Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 Darn it - duplicate post... sorry - didn't realize that it posted earlier... Thanks again!
tanbark813 Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Darn it - duplicate post... sorry - didn't realize that it posted earlier... Thanks again! Yes. Just don't hound the guy.
bridget_jones Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 He's making it clear to you that he is into his girlfriend and he didn't mean to mislead you before. That said, don't worry about it anymore. Why do you need to talk to him anymore? Let him initiate any friendly convo. It's not a big deal, just let it go. Find an available guy.
Author Sunny629 Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 Yes. Just don't hound the guy. Nope, no hounding will take place. bridget_jones... because I do want to have a friendship with him on some level... because we do work together... because I am a worrier by nature (and am trying to work on it)... satisfied? Honestly. And, really, you do not know my full personal story - so stop assuming things and looking into my motives.
bridget_jones Posted April 4, 2007 Posted April 4, 2007 Yeah but he's not really acting like he wants a friendship. It has to go both ways. You can't force friendship. Look, I'm sorry you misconstrued that he was flirting with you and liked you in a way more than a work friendship, but you'll just have to stop thinking about it and move on. It's not worth spending time pondering, is it?
Author Sunny629 Posted April 4, 2007 Author Posted April 4, 2007 bridget_jones: How do you know anything of what is going on here? The friendship is there even if the flirting was misunderstood. I know that. You are really making a lot of assumptions without really knowing the people involved. You only know what I have shared - and for obvious reasons, I have only shared parts. You don't know me at all. And you don't know him. If you are going to continue making assumptions about a situation of which you have limited knowledge, then I would ask that you please think more about what you say before you say it. Because clearly you do not have a clear understanding of when simple comments cross the line.
tanbark813 Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Post 84 more times and your PM privileges might get turned on.
Max Overclock Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 Do guys appreciate that kind of honesty? Just read your post! Way to go! I would be so gobsmacked by a girl doing that. Shows real moxy and maturity. Forget about the "He's not that into you" crap. That's just for women who want to game and BS guys, while at the same time securing their EGO from the spiritual connection that a little honesty and forthrightness can secure between two people. You deserve a pat on the back, big time. You're one of the good ones. Max
Author Sunny629 Posted April 11, 2007 Author Posted April 11, 2007 Tanbark - thanks for the info on PM privileges. That is what I was wondering. That's cool. And, thank you, Max Caress! Yeah, I think I threw him for a bit of a loop. Communication has been interesting between us. He is a really good guy.
Vera_Louise Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 It's all gravy until he asks you out. I had another thought though....do you think he could be gay? that would totally explain his behavior.
Author Sunny629 Posted April 12, 2007 Author Posted April 12, 2007 It's all gravy until he asks you out. I had another thought though....do you think he could be gay? that would totally explain his behavior. No - highly unlikely. But, Vera Louise, thank you for not thinking it is because I'm a "dog".
Author Sunny629 Posted April 12, 2007 Author Posted April 12, 2007 OK... what I had wanted to ask yesterday was this: What kind of behavior would he have if he were feeling guilty about being attracted to me? We do have legitimate work to do with each other and I'm really struggling to gauge the situation.
tanbark813 Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 OK... what I had wanted to ask yesterday was this: What kind of behavior would he have if he were feeling guilty about being attracted to me? If he were feeling guilty he'd probably seem distant and awkward but that's just a guess. It is, of course, going to vary from person to person.
Author Sunny629 Posted April 12, 2007 Author Posted April 12, 2007 If he were feeling guilty he'd probably seem distant and awkward but that's just a guess. It is, of course, going to vary from person to person. But there might be flashes of sweetness - mixed with a bit of remorse...? Because that is kind of what's happening. The distance... and then, we'll have a great exchange. Then the awkwardness returns. Thanks, Tanbark. I appreciate your insight. Most guys have such a different perspective than us chicks. And I think that trying to understand these differences and what might be going on, helps. BTW - your name makes me think of a Black & Tan.
tanbark813 Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 But there might be flashes of sweetness - mixed with a bit of remorse...? Because that is kind of what's happening. The distance... and then, we'll have a great exchange. Then the awkwardness returns. I wouldn't sweat it. Just give it a little time. Thanks, Tanbark. I appreciate your insight. Most guys have such a different perspective than us chicks. And I think that trying to understand these differences and what might be going on, helps. BTW - your name makes me think of a Black & Tan. No worries. And Black & Tans are good.
Topper Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 A little late to the party here, just want to add another guys kudos for your being direct and honest. I Know very few woman who would be that up front. I would always respect that and take it as a big compliment that she could be that honest. Just because you flirt and have some banter does not mean the two of you will end up in romance. Or that you will be having wild monkey sex at the office. It is what it is. It feels good. Everyone likes to feel that they are attractive to the opposite sex. Relax Bask in the friendship that offered , enjoy the the banter. If he wants more the ball is in his court. he just might tell you some time soon he broke things off with the woman he was seeing Then you could have a romance along with wild monkey sex. But better keep the sex out of the office. Unless you get really turned on by taking risk
Vera_Louise Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 My thought on this is the thrill of the pursuit is now dead for him since she revealed all and they will eterally be friends. The possibility was there if she hadn't spilled everything and put all the cards out on the table. But no since crying over spilt milk. There are other men and she knows for next time not to show all her cards too soon. Of course guys are going to say they enjoy it when a woman pursues and shows her cards right away. These are the same guy who bore with it after a few months, they can't put their finger on it but they know something is "not quite there" for them and end up dumping her. What's not quite there is the thrill of the relationship because she is an open book and there is nothing for them to discover.
Topper Posted April 12, 2007 Posted April 12, 2007 Vera, I just love it when woman do all the thinking for men.
Recommended Posts