xenonsrt10 Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 First and foremost, I am in college not in high school, so dating is a little different. I ask this girl out for dinner and a movie (real original, right?) and she agrees enthusiastically to go out with me. We go and have a good time (I pay for everything, by the way). So everything goes well. Now here is where things get more complicated. She tells me I am a lot of fun and we "should be friends" (yes I know what that means). I am more attracted to this girl's personality more than anything else and sex is the far last thing on my mind. From the moment I started talking to her, I knew she was different. She is in one of my classes at school, so I see her pretty ofter and usually we talk after class about random stuff. She seems to be a busy girl: she works two jobs and is pretty studious. She answers all my calls to her and never ignores them and even tells me herself she is kind of an introvert. But she tells me she is not (maybe for the time being) interested in an "out-of-class" relationship. I know she thinks I am cool and all, but is it she doesnt like me or she is too busy to think about it? I would really appreciate your interpretation of the situation and advice. Thanks!
vinodhv Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 don't waste your time. or you could play games, i.e. try to make her jealous and see if you get a reaction
Trialbyfire Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 It sounds like there was a spark missing during your date. She sounds like good friend material though.
Author xenonsrt10 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Posted March 31, 2007 yeah maybe there was.i forgot a couple of general rules. is it appropriate to ask a "friend" who is a girl out to lunch or just hang out?
Trialbyfire Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 Sure. Let her know you respect her decision to keep it at a friendship and that you would also prefer to be friends and as such would like to hang out, how about lunch, dutch? If she turns you down, you know that it's an awkward situation for her and it's time to leave her alone.
fallendisguise Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 Sure. Let her know you respect her decision to keep it at a friendship and that you would also prefer to be friends and as such would like to hang out, how about lunch, dutch? I second that. She seems interested in being friends, i.e. her picking up your phone calls and taking the time to talk to you. But, she also made it clear that is all she is looking for. She seems to enjoy talking to you and enjoy your company. So if you're intersted in that, pursue the friendship and maybe one day something will come out of it. However, I don't think she is interested in that at this point. You could say she is really busy with school and so she isn't "thinking" about that. But, I think regardless of how busy you are, if you find someone you are interested in, you would be willing to make the time and say "Hey, I'm really busy, but I like you, I would like to try to make this work." No matter how busy you are or how many things you've got going on and are focused on, if you meet someone you are interested in on a romantic level and want to make it more, you don't let it pass you by. At least that is my opion.
Author xenonsrt10 Posted March 31, 2007 Author Posted March 31, 2007 wow. you guys really know what you are talking about. some more info on this girl: -she is not a typical college slut -she is more studious -she is taller than the average female but a bit shorter than me, which is around 6 ft/6 ft 1 in. -she always takes the time to talk if i call her or talk to her in general -we always compliment eachother and she does the same you all are making sense to me
LN99 Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 She sounds like she has a lot on her plate. Maybe she thinks it would be unfair to you to get involved in anything relationship wise right now. But as someone who is busy myself, I must say that if a guy I really liked came along, I would MAKE TIME for him. So if your looking for more with her right now, its doubtful it will happen. But in time, who knows? Point is, don't dwell on it and if you can handle it, be her friend.
mental_traveller Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 wow. you guys really know what you are talking about. some more info on this girl: -she is not a typical college slut -she is more studious -she is taller than the average female but a bit shorter than me, which is around 6 ft/6 ft 1 in. -she always takes the time to talk if i call her or talk to her in general -we always compliment eachother and she does the same you all are making sense to me Did she give off any indications she was romantically interested? Sometimes if a person is responsible/hard-working, when they say they don't have time for a relationship they actually mean it. But a lot of the time it's just a polite way of saying they like your company but don't feel that romantic spark between the two of you. Only you can really judge if she was sincere or just letting you down politely. Although you could try the other poster's suggestion of pulling away, making no contact for a while, maybe even flirting with some other girls or dating and see if that sparks her interest. If you pull away and get no interest, then she definitely just wants to be friends & no more. In any case, if you do decide to hang out as friends, make sure that you don't develop feelings for her. Being friends with a girl who doesn't fancy you, but you really fancy her, is a classic trap to fall into. Guys in that situation almost never get the girl. Much better to focus on someone else.
Recommended Posts