Cardinal64 Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 Hi. I haven't posted in a while. Well long story short - its been 3 months since I moved out of my wife's house ( she built it before I was with her ). We have a 6 year old son together - married since March 2000. I just could not deal with the lying and cheating by my wife. Even members of her own family told me about how she was running around. I'm not saying I was a perfect husband - but I never cheated on her, hit her, verbally abused her, always did more than my fair share of the house cleaning and cooking, helped in raising our son, gave her complete rein of our finances, massaged her feet almost every night and just loved her as much as possible - among other things. I really planned on spending the rest of my life with her. We are planning on divorcing but have not done so as yet. Yes I have my faults - maybe I should have not allowed her as much freedom to do as she pleased in terms of going out with her GF on Saturday nights, been more attentive, more romantic, less complacent, maybe not took her for granted ...I just don't know .. All I know is that ... every time I see her - when I pickup my son ( we agreed that we would share custody of him ) -I miss her very much. I just wish things could go back to the way they were . I thought that we were pretty happy. Does anyone feel the same way when they see their ex-spouse who cheated on them. I know its foolish to expect her to change and come back to me. But I hate being alone. I miss the family life I had before. She's the only woman I really desire still. Thanks for your responses. [sIZE=4][COLOR=#0000ff] [/COLOR][/sIZE]
Curmudgeon Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 Does anyone feel the same way when they see their ex-spouse who cheated on them. Not in the slightest! Haven't seen her in over three years and likely will never again see or hear from her at all. Divorced her 13 years ago and have never looked back.
reservoirdog1 Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Does anyone feel the same way when they see their ex-spouse who cheated on them. Card... I know exactly how you feel, because I went through the same thing. For a year or more after my marriage ended following XW's revelations of cheating and lies, I wanted back what I thought I'd had with her. It took time but those feelings finally went away. Now I'm in a relationship with an amazing, beautiful, sexy, honest, faithful, loving woman who makes XW look like nothing. Now when I see XW I don't feel anything, and I wonder what it was in her that I clung to for so long -- because I sure don't feel it anymore. Hang in there, buddy. It takes time -- nothing more, nothing less.
aaaaaiiiiieeeee Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Very similar situations with the wife at the moment except we don't have children. I moved out and haven't seen her in almost 4 months now. I've filed for divorce ASAP, but a piece of paper dissolving our marriage won't take the pain away. Does anyone feel the same way when they see their ex-spouse who cheated on them. I know its foolish to expect her to change and come back to me. But I hate being alone. I miss the family life I had before. She's the only woman I really desire still. I understand exactly how you feel in fact I still feel the same way a little. Although I don't want her back any longer, there are days when I miss her so much it really hurts, but then there are days when I feel so good to be away from the lies and emotional abuse that I feel I can do no wrong (usually the sun is out and bright on those days). Keep your chin up, be strong for yourself, and be strong for your son. The things that have really helped me during this crisis are when I feel angry I hit the gym harder, when I feel sad/scared I think about why and then just let it out when I get some alone time--everyday I try as hard as I can to forgive myself for my part in the demise of the marriage, forgive her for how she has hurt me, remind myself that for me there is NO excuse for cheating EVER, and focus on realizing that it is her loss. Also posting on LS has really helped, too. When this first happened to me I fell into the same self-destructive pattern of sleeping around and filling up the spaces in my little black book. I finally got my head out of my ass, started reading more on divorce and how to better myself. So what I'm saying is use this pain as a catalyst to motivate yourself to get things in order. You probably already know this, but there are alot of little things of which you need to keep abreast (lawyers, finance/taxes, custody, child care, living arrangements, hell even grocery shopping).
Salam For Ever Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Hi. I haven't posted in a while. Well long story short - its been 3 months since I moved out of my wife's house ( she built it before I was with her ). We have a 6 year old son together - married since March 2000. I just could not deal with the lying and cheating by my wife. Even members of her own family told me about how she was running around. I'm not saying I was a perfect husband - but I never cheated on her, hit her, verbally abused her, always did more than my fair share of the house cleaning and cooking, helped in raising our son, gave her complete rein of our finances, massaged her feet almost every night and just loved her as much as possible - among other things. I really planned on spending the rest of my life with her. We are planning on divorcing but have not done so as yet. Yes I have my faults - maybe I should have not allowed her as much freedom to do as she pleased in terms of going out with her GF on Saturday nights, been more attentive, more romantic, less complacent, maybe not took her for granted ...I just don't know .. All I know is that ... every time I see her - when I pickup my son ( we agreed that we would share custody of him ) -I miss her very much. I just wish things could go back to the way they were . I thought that we were pretty happy. Does anyone feel the same way when they see their ex-spouse who cheated on them. I know its foolish to expect her to change and come back to me. But I hate being alone. I miss the family life I had before. She's the only woman I really desire still. Thanks for your responses. [sIZE=4][COLOR=#0000ff] [/COLOR][/sIZE] [sIZE=4][COLOR=#0000ff] [/COLOR][/sIZE] [sIZE=4][COLOR=#0000ff][/COLOR][/sIZE] Oh I am sorry the same feeling but with my love and I take one year to forget this feeling Don’t worry you will be fine just one year or more. Factually I am not married but, I am known that so hard. And why always we thinking in divorce when the problems start between the husband and wife? I hate the divorce?
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