brokeninFL Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 Five weeks ago, I went NC with my ex. After she broke things off with me, I was really torn up about it. She broke things off with me and got into a relationship with someone else very quickly after me. I went NC because I was emailing her too much, texting, trying to reason...you know, everything that you shouldnt do. While I didnt have any contact with her, I realized how needy and clingy I was during our relationship. I also always tried to do anything that I could to make her happy. I dont know if youre out there, but Blue Tuesday Caliguy, and Oppath have helped me a lot. I read their threads on relationships and I realized that I was making some major mistakes. Those threads kind of helped me get on the right track. These past 5 weeks without her have gotten better gradually. It really sucked at first, but I started going to the gym more, hanging out with my friends, dating, and breaking down the relationship. I now realize that I dont need her or anyone else to be happy. Things have started to get interesting lately though. Three weeks ago, I noticed that she started visiting my myspace page every two to three days. (I have a tracker) Sometimes she would visit it three times in the same day. I kept up the NC because I wasnt ready to deal with her yet though. A week ago, I unblocked her on AIM. I felt like I didnt care about the situation anymore and if she wanted to IM me and have a civil conversation, I was capable of doing that with her. A few days after that, She IM'ed me out of the blue and said hello. I waited until the next day to respond. She asked me how I was and I said that I was tired because I was so busy. I asked her how she was and she told me that things wernt going very well for her. She got kicked out of her campus apartment because of something that she has done. I responded that "I was sorry to hear that." After that, she said that she had to go and she signed off. Does anyone know what she might be up to? Sometimes now she signs on when she knows ill be online, but says nothing. Its kinda wierd...like shes expecting me to talk to her now...And shes still visiting my myspace page.
polywog Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 Geez, this could be a NC success story. I think it means that she is missing you, but please be careful. Dumpers almost always have second thoughts. Think about whether you *really* want to get back with her, or if you are just trying to "win" after being "dumped". Stay cool, but maybe keep checking out what she's doing. I'm sure others will have better advice... as a recently "dumped" person, I am not very subjective!
shockandawed Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 Polywog is one of the wisest posters on this board but I am not so sure if it is because she is missing you, or just wanting to make sure you are still available. After about a month or so of NC, I began a series of IMs that began with her sending me an email which the excuse was so weak it was an obvious attempt to talk to me. The IMs, she got increasingly sappy and reminiscent, and I followed right along. Of course, this was about the time I finally started casually dating. This culminated with her texting me several times while I was on a date. I ended it early and called her. We talked until very late in the evening and she said she wanted to try to work things out. Well a couple of days later, she was back to not answering my calls and sent an email which said she couldnt go back and she was going to try to see where her new relationship went. Back to square one.......It was obvious as she saw the threat of me moving on, she became curious and attracted to me, once she realized she could get me back, she went back to the way she was. It looks like you are handling it well and she is very curious. I wouldn't have any conversations with her until she tells you she has ended the new relationship and wants you back.
Author brokeninFL Posted March 31, 2007 Author Posted March 31, 2007 Polywog, To be honest, I dont know if I am trying to get her back or win. She made me feel pretty bad. I cant say that I'm not getting a rise out of her contacting me. I didnt know if I would hear from her again...especially while she is still in a relationship with someone else. I'll definitely keep an eye on her though. I would consider seeing her, but she would have to do a lot of begging and apologizing. I dont know if she is capable of doing that. She isnt one to admit when she has made a mistake. Shockandawed, Some of the things that you have said make me think. These past couple of days I have been wondering why she is contacting me in the first place. She should be happy in her new relationship. If I was with someone, I wouldnt contact an ex...ever. She is immature for her age. (Im 25 and she's 20) I dont know if she truly misses me, or if shes trying to string me along and play an emotional game with me. I'm no MD, but she displays a few narcissistic qualities and I am even more careful because of that. (never admited her faults, turned things around on me, didnt handle conflict well) I wont wait around for her, thats for sure. I havent told her that I am dating other people, but I have a lot of girls that post comments on my site, so she might get the hint and be jealous.
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