soulseeker Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 when you are pretty sure nothing will come of it longterm, but you do have fun with the person, is it ok to date them? This is new for me and it's something I think I need to be able to do, but dont know the e[FONT=Times New Roman]tiquette[/FONT] for. Do I need to tell him I dont see it going anywhere? And if I tell him this, doesnt that take the fun out of it? I know that is selfish thinking, but I want to know how to go about this without being a dick. Those of you who date people just for fun, do you avoid this conversation until the other person brings it up and just assume they are in it for fun until otherwise noted? I hope this does not come across as anything other than me wanting to have fun with another person respectfully and not knowing if this is possible. Thanks
Green Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 Im probably moving in a few months and I told the girl I was dating... U know so it wouldnt be cruel when I just got up and moved, that is if I do move, which I most likely will. She was like " well what do I do if I fall in love with you" and I said would that be so horible. And then she asked "would I see other girls when I was gone" and I just said I dont know... its so fun
bridget_jones Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 I think that is good at least you have the self-awareness that you are just interested in dating just for fun. Too many times I have dated a guy, knowing I didn't want it to go into a full-fledged relationship or I wasn't THAT into him, but tried to convince myself that my feelings could change as we went out. I think just keep going out with him, and if he makes a statement which shows he wants to take it to the next "level" or whatever, then you can say something like 'I just want to keep fun and casual about this.' That will possibly lead to a discussion of where you're coming from and then at least the guy can make an informed choice at that point if he wants to keep dating you on those terms or not.
bridget_jones Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 Im probably moving in a few months and I told the girl I was dating... U know so it wouldnt be cruel when I just got up and moved, that is if I do move, which I most likely will. She was like " well what do I do if I fall in love with you" and I said would that be so horible. And then she asked "would I see other girls when I was gone" and I just said I dont know... its so fun What if you fall in love with HER though before you leave?
Author soulseeker Posted March 31, 2007 Author Posted March 31, 2007 I had 5 guys on the line last summer. They knew I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was very honest about that. Man, was that ever a fun summer!!!! I dont mean to be too personal, but hey, this is anonymous. Were you having sex with these guys? Or they were jsut happy to have your company? Thanks for the input all
Green Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 My guess is yes she was having sex... If I fall for that girl I'm seeing or any other girl before I move I dont know what I'll do But I cant just put life on hold, I move alot.
fallendisguise Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 I would keep it very light and casual. Don't say anything to lead him on and make him think you see a future together. Just be very upfront and honest. You don't have to avoid the issue, because he could think you see something long term and later down the road be hurt because he fell for you not knowing where it would go. I would tell him you aren't looking for a relationship or anything serious. You enjoy his company and like going out with him, but more or less are just looking to meet people and have fun in the meantime. I think it would probably be best if you said that in the beginning. You don't even need to make it a conversation by itself, but if he says something along the lines of enjoying spending time with you, I would casually drop it into the conversation. That way, you are both on the same page and don't have to worry where it could be headed and anyone getting their hopes up in the process.
Porn_Guy Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 if you just want to date someone casually then don't see them too often. once per week at the most. and don't call or contact them too much. that should get the msg across.
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