loquaciousl Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 Hi there LJers, So I've met this great guy. We've been talking for about a month now, have gone out three times, and have really enjoyed each other's company so far. I am a 28 year old teacher and he is a 33 year old marketing director who is starting his own business on top of things. After we went out the second time he told me he liked me and that he could see spending more time with me, but that I should know he's starting his own business and that could eat at his time. I am okay with this because I admire his ambition and his honesty. Additionally, (refer to "Coping with Herpes" post) that I posted recently, this is the same guy that I have told about my pleasant "gift" and he's been really amazing about it. He simply said that he likes me and that we would "work with it," which is way cool. My quandry, or question, rather, pertains to the fact that so far we seem to have really connected. We both have also talked about the fact we tend to rush into relationships having them just burn out months later. We have also mutually agreed to "take it slow." Now, you must understand that I am not one who has ever taken it slow before. But due to some awesome therapy and honing of what I want out of relationships, I am trying just about everything differently this time. That means, no sleeping together early, no seeing each other every waking minute, and all that jazz. This feels really healthy to me and I love it so far. However, I don't know what "taking it slow" really entails....how slow is one supposed to go? This is so new to me that I just want to be sure I am doing it right, if you will. I like this guy so far and I know there are no guarantees in life, but I want to be as healthy about this as possible. Any stories or advice would be appreciated. Sorry for the ramble.
bridget_jones Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 I think you really have to let the guy determine that. How much does he call, ask you out, etc.? Seems he has set a pretty slow pace (going out three times in one month of dating isn't that much.) Is he actively pursuing (if he is really into you he is at least calling you everyday.) If another month has gone by and nothing has really progressed as far as him pursuing you and stuff, I would just let it go. you can tell when a guy is really crazy about you. No sense in sticking around if it's not going any further than that.
Author loquaciousl Posted March 30, 2007 Author Posted March 30, 2007 He calls at least 3 or 4 times a week....He's asked me out, in like the three weeks or so we've been talking, once a week. I don't expect to hear from him every day but I do agree with you, that if we don't see each other and things don't progress at some point soon that it might behoove me to move on. I don't think he's playing games or anything like that, but we shall see what's goin on soon. I am not waiting with baited breath but I am also letting him do the majority of the pursuing. In the past I have been one to quickly jump the gun but this time I'm not. So we'll see what'll happen. Thanks for your input.
DanielMadr Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 Is he actively pursuing (if he is really into you he is at least calling you everyday.) Uh oh. Every day? What for? Calling is for setting up dates.
bridget_jones Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 He calls at least 3 or 4 times a week....He's asked me out, in like the three weeks or so we've been talking, once a week. I don't expect to hear from him every day but I do agree with you, that if we don't see each other and things don't progress at some point soon that it might behoove me to move on. I don't think he's playing games or anything like that, but we shall see what's goin on soon. I am not waiting with baited breath but I am also letting him do the majority of the pursuing. In the past I have been one to quickly jump the gun but this time I'm not. So we'll see what'll happen. Thanks for your input. Sounds good then. Let us know.
bridget_jones Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 Uh oh. Every day? What for? Calling is for setting up dates. That is not my experience. When a guy really is into you, he's calling. If he is only calling just to set up dates, I assume he's really not that interested if the only time he wats to talk is then....
Author loquaciousl Posted March 31, 2007 Author Posted March 31, 2007 It's funny, sometimes I think the only way you can assess things is if you have both extremes. For instance, I was dating another guy at the same time, recently, who was calling about every day. We hung out twice and I found myself irritated by him because he would make comments everytime I would make a sound or say something to myself. I haven't been in a relationship in quite some time so I was surprised to find that the hot and heavy approach by someone is NOT what I am looking for. On this guy and I's second date he was saying, "You're the woman I've been looking for my whole life...." and I was like, "Whoa!" with a capital W. Anyhow, insofar as the person I've mentioned in my blog is concerned, we chat on the phone other times as well as the times we make plans to see each other. I hear from him about 3 or 4 times a week, and that's fine for me right now. I almost think if I heard from him every day I would get sick of him. It's funny, I'm almost 29 years old and for the first time ever I have really come to enjoy my own company. It's funny though, I received a text from the guy today wishing me a great Friday. He asked me out for this weekend and I have other plans. He was disappointed. Not five minutes later I got another text telling me to have fun and that he was going to miss me this weekend. This is so funny. Usually by now I am asking "What's going to happen?" to the guy but it's really true, going about your own life and not waiting for some dude to fill the void is the way to live.
Recommended Posts