Guest Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 I need advise from those of you who are engaged to or are married to someone who has been divorced... I love my boyfriend very much, enough so that we are talking about getting married. My issue is that he has been married before and I have not. I want our marriage to be special, but sometimes I feel our marriage would be less special to him because he has already made those vows to someone else once before. Has anybody had these feelings, and how did you deal with them?
Missy27 Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 I need advise from those of you who are engaged to or are married to someone who has been divorced... I love my boyfriend very much, enough so that we are talking about getting married. My issue is that he has been married before and I have not. I want our marriage to be special, but sometimes I feel our marriage would be less special to him because he has already made those vows to someone else once before. Has anybody had these feelings, and how did you deal with them? Its basically a case of you wising up and gaining enough emotional maturity to overcome the issue. Everybody has a past and if you involve yourself with somebody who has been married before then you basically don't have any choice but to accept their past relationship history and move on with your own future together. Just remember that an ex is an ex for a reason. Your BF is not married to his ex anymore, he's with you. He has chosen you and dependant on how his last marriage ended, its good that he trusts you enough to be considering marriage again. Some divorced men NEVER trust women enough to even entertain the idea of marriage again. You and your BF's relationship is COMPLETELY seperate from that of the one he had with his ex. You are two individual people so the way he interacts with you will not be the same as he did with his her. Handing you your coffee in the morning, picking something up for you from the store, waking up with you, talking to you, laughing with you - EVERYTHING that you two do together is different for him now. At the end of the day, if you and your BF end up getting married, and stay together for the rest of your lives then he's more likely to look back with fond memories on the "good" marriage than the one that ended in divorce
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