Guest Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 I found this place through google, and I think I could use some advice. My boyfriend and I have been dating almost 9 years. We started dating when we went to the prom together at 17. So neither of us has slept with anyone else. We live together, but have no marriage plans in sight, to my dismay. I just want to be with him, and I want him as my partner for life. Yesterday we had a long discussion, during which he said he sometimes wishes he could sow his wild oats and know what it's like to be single and sleep with other women. And he does not want to get married becuause his parents' marriage ended badly and he feels like we fight too much (IMO, we fight, but not more than most couples of 8+ years who live together) I am not sure what to make of this. I cannot agree to let him sleep with other people, but part of me thinks that if a one night stand is all it will take, then maybe I can be ok with that. But I am really upset. I want to be with him, but all of this from him adds up to me as: I don't want to be with you any longer. I know he loves me--that I do not doubt. But he is clearly not happy, and I am not sure if even he knows what it will take to fix that. He is unhappy right now in his job and with his life as well, so I also think that maybe he is taking that unhappiness out on me and translating it as unhappiness in our relationship. I really don't want to end this--I thought that he was going to be my partner for life, so the mere idea of ending this crushes me completely. We brought up the subject of a "break", and I feel like he has better reasons than most to want one (having only experienced me and our relationship) but I don't think I could deal with it if he did not come back. I am completely shattered, and I don't know what to do. Thoughts?
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