littlebopeep Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 Have given up on a ldr even though you truly loved the other person and why,or was it not true love after all.I personally believe if you love some1 you will do anything to make things work. In saying that,after having been on my own 7 months since my ex ended things,im beginning now to understand why he had to do it,well at least i think i do lol. When he went away we talked on the phone every night and couldnt wait till we met up again.That happened 5 weeks later and things were amazing until a few days in where we had an argument because i got insecure at the thought of him being there among lots of students who were on placement with him. We did make up but then he ended it because he said he wanted to be on his own for now and he didnt want the thought of arguments on top of being away from home etc. When i think of things now it cant have been easy for him,away from home/family in a strange place where he knew no1 and then after getting to know people his life was still pretty much lonely because he went to work.came home,had tea then phoned me and went to bed. His new friends were meeting out,having drinks etc and getting to know each other so i suppose it all got too much for him.It got to the point where i thought he cant have loved me that much to throw it all away but now im not so sure.Has any1 else experienced this?
BlueEyedSarah Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 I am currently staying with my ldr until August, but its not what I thought it would be. I like him and feel as though I love him but I don't think he feels the same way about me, so if he does not feel the same for me then there is no point in breaking my heart in trying to make him love me because you can not make someone love you. So in answer of your question, yes I have given up on a ldr.
Island Girl Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 I couldn't imagine trying to find someone who could ever replace my one and only. Even random conversations with other men only serve as reminders for what he is that they are not. Going on the 5th year of LDR. Having only seen each other twice in 4 years for a total of one month. I accept that it is how it is right now but he is worth the wait in every way. So true love endures. But not without a strong commitment and a lot of work on both sides.
LaughMachine Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 What people think to be their one and only, could be their worst nightmare. For some of course. I never gave up on my first love, even though he put me through hell and back. Maybe through a second relationship and learning from my last I will be able to let it go even if it hurts. This one which has been over for a year and 6 months now....was something I clinged to with force. Maybe because I was young and it was my first love...
4whatItsWorth Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Well, my fiance has always done everything (one year so far) to be able contact me every single day with phone call or email. Even when he was broke he tried every little thing he could. But my ex LDR never bothered to call me at all and even said I used to ruin his evenings by being upset cos he didn't care about me. XP ...so IMO a guy's love is shown by his actions. When you love someone - you try every little thing before you back out on it. But when you realise the guy is a big fat jerk you delete him off your phone list, MSN and realise you deserve so much better.
RitaJoe Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 helllo, I have been in a very similar situation. Unlike your ldr, we always lived in seperate countries, neither had moved away to school and such. I also didn't see it at the time how unrealistic our relationship was and that it was ended for the benefits of us both. We were both young, 18 and 20, him living in europe myself in Canada. We were "dating" for 2 years, knew each other for 5. I was devestated when he told me it wouldn't work out, it was to much and to far away. I later realized he was deffintly correct and made the right decission for us both. It always hurts at first I guess, but one gets over it. I am currently in another LDR, and it's much different, for the better. I wouldn't give him up for anyone, nor would he me. Also, my current paretner shows more interest, we communicate better and the whole bit. Sorry for the rambling, best of luck!
Cupcake Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 It all depends on the people involved. LDR's do take a lot more effort, trust, and compromise than a local relationship. But it's really no different. Actually, the distance is the only problem. With all the technology that exist today, distance isn't really a major problem. When you have two people who aren't really sure of themselves, insecure, dishonest, not in love enough with each other....that will be the problem with the LDR, the same as with any other relationship. LDR's fail mainly because of the people, not the distance. I'm not going to allow distance to keep me from the love of my life. The world is too big for me to think I will find true love in a certain place just because I live there. I don't want to limit myself that way. I'm willing to go the distance for TRUE LOVE. Right now, I'm giving up on my LDR of nearly a year because the guy has proven that he doesn't love me. It doesn't matter where we are. Even when we are together, he disrespects me.
Sweetie2007 Posted April 3, 2007 Posted April 3, 2007 I'm not going to allow distance to keep me from the love of my life. The world is too big for me to think I will find true love in a certain place just because I live there. I don't want to limit myself that way. I'm willing to go the distance for TRUE LOVE. I totally agree, Cupcake!!! My BF lives in Germany, and myself in North Eastern USA...its rough, but we've made it through almost 2.5 years now! The relationship's amazing when we're together, and when we're apart the communication is amazing (since that's all we can do, communicate), and soon I will be moving to Europe to go to school, so that will put us at least a few thousand miles closer! I guess the point I'm trying to make, is that love can survive the distance, if the people are willing to fight it out, and truly love each other enough to make it work. Maybe, OP, the two of you just weren't meant for each other in your first relationship, and if your happy in the one your in now, then that is for the best. Good luck to you!!!!! And to everyone in a LDR...stay strong!!
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