Guest Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 I am recently divorced from my children's father. He is in the military and was deployed to Iraq when he started sleeping with one of his female troop. They were in Iraq for 1 yr. When they returned, my husband was acting strangely. I thought it was PTSD. Apparently it wasn't. I found out about the affair because we had a party at our house and he invited all of the people in his department (including her). She got drunk and started provocatively dancing in front of my husband. My husband who was also drinking didn't do anything. He was actually standing there enjoying the show. When I confronted him, she yelled out that he was her man and that they have been sleeping together for over a year. She even went on to tell me that he wanted out of our marriage because I was a cold hearted b""tch and that she was going to take my house and kids away from me. I kicked her arse out of my house along with him. The next day, he called and pretended like nothing happened and wanted to come home. He stated that I was overacting. She yells out in the background that he was lying to me and that he wanted to be with her. He hung up. He came home a week later stating that he wanted to work on our marriage and would go to counseling. We have three children (15, 13, 9). We started going to marriage counseling and the OW called our house and told me that he had told her that he wanted a divorce from me and that since I couldn't afford the mortgage on the house, he was going to give me 1/2 of the equity and one vehicle and that I have to move. I asked him was he still seeing her and he stated he wasn't. Well, I hired a private investigator and found out that he was still seeing her after he got off work. He had been lying to me about working late. When I confronted him with the evidence, he blamed me for his affair and asked for a divorce. Our divorce was granted 3 wks ago and he married the OW. We had to sell the house and I ended up getting 1/2 his military retirement when he retires (we were married 18 yrs), plus alimony and child support. I know this is an OW board but why do women get into relationships with a married man if you know he is married? I feel betrayed as I supported this man for 18 yrs. I do not want to date as I do not believe I can trust any man anymore. I am in counseling and my counselor states that in time my heart will heal. My children are also receiving counseling as this has impacted their life. My oldest daugther (15 yrs old) told me that she is never getting married. I don't want her to believe that all men cheat. I believe that only the stupid weak men cheat and no I don't tell her anything bad about her father and the OW. My kids are in this situation because their father choose this for them. He chose for the kids to see him EOW and one day during the week. He chose to help raise the OW's child full-time. This is really impacting my children. My youngest asked me why daddy replaced him? I mean do people not think about the impact an affair have on children. It can have long-term effects on the relationship between the children and the adulterer. I just don't understand how someone can take vows and throw it all alway on a piece of arse. I don't understand how the OW expects the children to respect them. I don't understand how the OW can live with herself every time she sees my children and the sad looks on their faces. I know she probably don't care as this is about what benefits her and not my children. How would an OW feel if she married her MM and then he cheats on her? Do she feel that the OW who help her husband destroy their marriage has no morals? Do the OW believe that her marriage is sacred and that no OW should try to sleep with her husband? Do you expect respect after you slept with a MM. When you are relaxed and it's quiet, do you think about the lives you help destroy? Do you value marriage or do you just value your's and no one else. Do you expect other women to respect your marriage and not sleep with your husband? I came to this board to try and understand why someone would help destroy a marriage so that they can have the woman's husband. Isn't this selfish?
Izzar Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 Guest, My heart goes out to you & your children. You may not know my story, but my s/o divorced his wife & then we started our relationship. He has 3 kids also. 14, 21 & 25. My s/o doesn't put the blame totally on me. She blames her exh. Circumstances were way different in my situation compared to yours though. I don't think I've helped here. I'll say one thing though, your exh's new wife doesn't deserve one ounce of respect from you or your precious children.
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