struggling with the breakup

[guest]

me and my (ex) boyfriend were best friends for 2 years until one night i got really drunk and kissed him. ever since then we have been together and it has been the best relationship ever. we do fight a lot, and now we have broken up.

 

i have this friend right..and my ex was very jealous of him cos my friend tried to get with me while me and my ex were still together. my friend has been visiting a lot lately and this last sunday my bf just cracked.. he broke up with me saying that we fight 2 much and hes jealous

we have been speaking and stuff since sunday but i feel like im always the one making the effort to speak to him.

 

me and my ex went thru SO much together (for me it was everything a girl can go thru) and it hurts me that it SEEMS like he doesnt care anymore. just last night he told me that he wants to come back to me but he doesnt know if its right, cos he doesnt want me to hurt him again. i NEVER cheated on my bf, and i never will...but hes just so upset that i knew that he didnt like my friend but i still let him visit me when i also knew that my friend could be interested in me in other ways.

 

my ex told me to give him till next week to think and we most probly will get back together but i just really want him to miss me u know. i miss him so much but i can get past this if i try... but any tips on how to make him miss me??? hehehe

[norajane]

I don't think you need to be asking how to make him miss you. That's not going to help him get over feeling hurt that you didn't pay ANY attention to his fears.

 

You did let your guy friend visit when you knew he was interested in you. You need to deal with this issue in a way your ex can trust that you are respecting his feelings instead of being selfish and just doing whatever you want even though it hurts him.

 

So have you done anything about the friend? I think your ex will feel a lot better about getting back together if you agree not to see your friend unless your bf is also there or you are all out together. Agree that you won't talk to that guy every day or every week or whatever it is. Even better, tell your friend that you can't see him at all because he tried to hook up with you when he knew you had a bf and you respect your bf too much to hurt him by continuing to see him.