LoveLace Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 I started chatting with a guy on the Personals, and I like to talk on the phone better, so I called him and he seemed very nice, funny, and smart. And cute from what his pic says. I've done a lot of the online dating thing, I don't know if I've ever been that impressed just from the 1st conversation, I mean he seems normal for once! Anyway, we talked about an hour, and he was the one who said he had to go and it was nice talking to me, I agreed and asked if he had my number on his phone now, he just Yes I do! But didn't give any indication of calling me or wanting to meet up. I'm ok with going slow or whatever, but if he was interested would he have shown more interest in talking again in the future? It sucks to think 1 conversation with me could have changed his mind! I thought it went well..
IrishCarBomb Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Don't overanalyze. You can drive yourself crazy if you think about every last detail. You had a hour of good conversation, but are upset about 1 sentence? Don't worry about it.
TYASAFAHICSI Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 If it was me and I felt that the conversation went well enough to have another or to go out on a date, I would have confirmed the number...asked if that was a good one to reach you back on...or simply asked if I could call you tomorrow night (or whenever). I bet that he did not feel the connection you did and is probably not interested in pursuing it.
Author LoveLace Posted March 29, 2007 Author Posted March 29, 2007 Don't overanalyze. You can drive yourself crazy if you think about every last detail. You had a hour of good conversation, but are upset about 1 sentence? Don't worry about it. Oh not upset here...just pay too much attention to things...
shockandawed Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 Lovelace, I am doing the online thing as well and I really seem to struggle with the timing. Seems everyone is different. Some want to really drag it out. If you like this guy, you have nothing to lose really. Why not call him back, talk for a minute or two and then try to set up a meeting? If he turns you down, at least you will know.
waitingforlove Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 Lovelace, In a way, I agree with shockandawed that you could call him to see if he'd like to meet, but on the other hand, I disagree with that. The reason I agree is that if you want to know if he's interested (instead of driving yourself crazy wondering about it), then you might want to go ahead and find out. However, the more compelling reason that I disagree that you should call is that you don't want to set up a "habit" of you calling him from the beginning on! If you truly want him to pursue you, then STOP pursuing him yourself. I know it's hard. I'm a woman myself -- and that's why I have learned it the hard way, very hard! And now I realize that as "pathetic" as it may sound, being a woman is sometimes about being patient! In order for the guy to pursue you, you have to back off and let him do it -- of course, that means that HE has the option of whether or not to do it! And that's the frustrating part. All we can do is "wait and see." However, a lot of relationships don't go well because of the woman pushing too hard and "stealing" the job of pursuing from the guy! That happens when we are insecure, and so we figure that "instead of waiting for him to pursue me, I'll do the work to ensure that the relationship will work out." However, the nature of men is that they like to do the chasing. If they "earn" your affection without having to chase you, they will not value it. So, my point is, as hard as it is to wait, it may be best to back off and wait to see if he will call you. If you don't call him, he may realize that you are a challenge, and that makes him all the more interested in chasing after you. So, my conclusion is, if you want to find out as soon as possible whether or not he's interested, and you really prefer not to wait, then call him and ask if he'd like to meet. But if you would like the relationship to grow gradually and start off well (in case you really do develop a relationship with him), then it's better to wait. In a way, you're going to find out sooner or later whether he's interested anyway. If he is, he will call you -- it may take sometime before that happens, but eventually he will call. If he's not interested, you may never hear from him again, which is an answer to you in some ways as well. In the meantime, don't wait at the phone. Just go out and have fun! Whatever should happen will eventually happen. Good luck!!
Recommended Posts