panthera_leo Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Hey there Loveshackers. I dont know if any of you remember me but I used to post here just over a year ago when I had a terrible breakup with a long term boyfriend. If you have patience (or are generally bored) then you might want to read my previous posts - however i do caution you as they are rather depressing. Right well, I thought i'd return and try to help people as they did for me. I remember reading CaliGuy's NC rule post over and over again hoping that it would work to bring my ex back. I read countless posts about "how to get your ex back" and (yes i admit it) I implemented as many "scheme's" as I could to try and win him back but (unknown to me at the time) I was only delaying the healing process - any of this sound familiar? Im sure we've all been there. Im looking on here and im seeing "How can I get him back", "How long do I have to go NC before they come back to me"... etc etc. Im not insulting you - I did exactly the same thing. After my breakup I was so hung up on tyring to get him back, that in reality I wasnt moving forwards. This all came to a head when I got diagnosed with an anxiety disorder 6 months after the break up - apparently it was spurred on by the breakup itself and my constant analysis of why it happened. Whats even worse is, he tried to contact me for a "meeting" about 5 months after we broke up... i thought he wanted to reconcile... boy was I wrong. It was to tell me he had a new girlfriend and wanted to rebuild our 'friendship'. Did he ever come back?.... No. He left on his own free will, if he was ever going to come back, he'd come back on his own free will. It took me a good 7 months of heartache to realise that. You guys who have suffered a recent break up, you need to detatch yourself from the situation. For godsake dont start thinking up ways to get them back, and DON't use NC as a tool to get them back because the harsh reality is they left you for a reason. You may end up like I did with a goddamn crazy disorder Despite all the crap thats happened i've managed to find happiness again and its not with my ex. Im currently in a new relationship (of 4 months) and things have never been better (Its a big step considering I thought i'd live my life with my ex). You just need to remember that one day you'll find that light at the end of the tunnel. You'll meet someone who really appreciates you Panthera Leo
Auqakuh Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 This is kinda funny in a way... No, I don't mean to be insulting, keep reading. And I don't mean the haha kind of funny. I had my anxiety disorder already. I met someone. It went away. Then she broke up with me. So I kinda did it in reverse. o.O
Trialbyfire Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 DON't use NC as a tool to get them back because the harsh reality is they left you for a reason. This is what I've been saying all along. NC is for recovery, not a way to get someone back. It's a cold-turkey solution for the addicted. Btw, judging by your avatar, someone's in trouble...
Double D Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Hey, thanks for the thread panthera_leo. I guess we just have to keep striving for that light at the end of the tunnel but the pain is a bi*ch!
Ormolu611 Posted April 2, 2007 Posted April 2, 2007 Yes Panthera, thank you for the post. It is a tough pill to swallow sometimes but I think that you are right in the end. Sometimes when I am able to convince myself that it is really over, I do feel a little at peace, even if only for a fleeting moment. I can see firsthand how endlessly thinking about getting your ex back can drive you crazy!
Recommended Posts