Guest Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 My husband moved out a few weeks ago, but now is saying he wants to 'work on our relationship'. The thing is, that I'm pretty sure he has some type of relationship with another woman, because we have a mutual friend at work who tells me things. For example, she would tell me about things that happened at work regarding this woman, and then he would tell me the same story and substitute a different, male name for hers. I know that his new apartment is half a mile from hers. I know that they happened to take the same day off work at least twice. I am afraid to confront him with all this, because I believe he might become violent with our mutual friend (or me) if I do. I don't know what to do. It actually doesn't even matter if they are having an actual physical affair or an emotional one, if I find out that he has any relationship with this woman that he is hiding from me, I don't know if I have the energy to try to make things work. Also, he flatout refuses to go to counseling to try to work on things, but that's a different issue. If anyone has any insight, I would appreciate it. Thanks R
norajane Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 What is he doing to "work on the relationship" if he's not going to counseling? Anyway, regardless of whether he is having an affair or not, your fear that he could become violent with you should be enough to end this marriage now. What's the point?
outofdarkness Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 My husband moved out a few weeks ago, but now is saying he wants to 'work on our relationship'. The thing is, that I'm pretty sure he has some type of relationship with another woman, because we have a mutual friend at work who tells me things. For example, she would tell me about things that happened at work regarding this woman, and then he would tell me the same story and substitute a different, male name for hers. I know that his new apartment is half a mile from hers. I know that they happened to take the same day off work at least twice. I am afraid to confront him with all this, because I believe he might become violent with our mutual friend (or me) if I do. I don't know what to do. It actually doesn't even matter if they are having an actual physical affair or an emotional one, if I find out that he has any relationship with this woman that he is hiding from me, I don't know if I have the energy to try to make things work. Also, he flatout refuses to go to counseling to try to work on things, but that's a different issue. If anyone has any insight, I would appreciate it. Thanks R He refuses to go to MC? This most likely means that he is involved w/ someone else and doesn't want to have to face things. I know in the months just before D day, I knew something was really wrong, and my H refused over and over to go to MC...I never dreamed he was cheating, but in looking back, I now see that the OW(s) were pressuring him NOT to go to MC and make a life w/ her (them)...Also, like I said, not wanting to face things is a huge reason why they refuse to go... You also mentioned violence on his part. Is he abusive towards YOU? If so, you need to take care of yourself and get some counseling yourself...If he won't go, you go alone. I know what you mean about not having the energy to work things out. You do get to this point. In reading your post, I am thinking some time by yourself would do you a world of good if this is possible. If it isn't, even a day alone, talking w/ a counselor and/or close friend or confident can be very helpful..I wish you luck and am sorry you are in this situation...
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