lovely01 Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 is it normal to still not trust my husband after 5 months after he told me about his affair. he told me that if i dont let it go and trust him again that i am putting myself through the pain of what happened over and over again. i just cant help think that he is going to screw me over again if i trust him again . i thought we had a great trusting relationship before this all happened. i saw one of his friends that covered for him while i was shopping after i went to the dr where i saw our baby for the first time. yes i am due in october. and he had the nerve to ask me why i dont let my husband go to the bar anymore.(where he meet this other women so many times). first i wanted to hit him but didint.not a violant person. i said that maybe if he payed more attention to his wife instead of going to the bar he would have a better realtionship with his wife..then he told me how much he wanted to have another baby just like he wasnt listening. so i told him to have a nice day and walked off. idiot.
1DeadB Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I feel bad for your baby. After you found out you should never have gotten pregnant. You could suck this guy's nuts dry every day, but sooner or later he'll stray again. Why did you have to bring a baby into the picture?
LittleWoman12 Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Once a cheater always a cheater! That's the vane, jane! I wish you luck with the baby. Being a single mom is tough, but you'll get through it. I am suprised you stayed with him after he got it or her off his chest. Uh oh, I'm being nice here. I better watch out.......<duck>
whichwayisup Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 Seems your husband hasn't really realized that his affair was wrong and hasn't shown you any remorse. What exactly has HE done to try to regain your love and trust in him? Did you two go to marriage counselling? Don't put up with his crappy treatment!! It takes a long time to deal with and get over an affair....And that's even if the cheating spouse is willing to be an open book and work hard on the marriage. It does seem like your husband just wants to sweep it under the rug and forget about it. Does he treat you well? Has he stopped going out alot without you? Is he attentive to your needs?
shellys-trying Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 There is no statute of limitations on when a spouse should/can get over his/her spouse's cheating. That's a big misconception. Your spouse is just trying to wriggle out of his responsibility in what he did. If he's showing no remorse for what he did, he doesn't feel bad for what he did. People who do wrong and want to make amends face their responsibilities. I have a friend who's H is like this. He hasn't wanted to talk with her about his A, even after a few years and she was left with questions until she just gave up herself and stopped asking, just to pander to him. I would never have done this. If he won't talk about it, when you need to talk, there's a good chance he will cheat on you again.
Guest Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 Although I don't believe that Once a cheater always a cheater.. but the likely hood that he will cheat is very high. And its totally normal not to "trust him" after all, he broke the trust .. and is likely to do it again. so, you have a choice. 1) to accept him as he is with all his faults in order to raise your kid. or 2) get a divorce and split up your child's family before your child's life ever begins. Now.. realize.. if you divorce.. the new hunny will be there watching your child during his visitation.. so if you'd like to keep control over the stuation, you'll have to stick it out. side.. point.. but if you do stick it out. realize you can't trust him...he's going to cheat.. and its not going to bother you... and think about all the good things he does for you. PS.. about his "friend" of course he doesn't care.. it is likely he does the same damn thing to his girlfriend/wife. After all, if a man really thought it was wrong to cheat on their gf/wife.. they wouldn't cover for them and it is likely they wouldn't stay friends. I know I couldn't "hang" with someone who was cheating on their husband. (People with the same Character.. or in this instance, "the lack thereof.." usually stick together)
shellys-trying Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 PS.. about his "friend" of course he doesn't care.. it is likely he does the same damn thing to his girlfriend/wife. After all, if a man really thought it was wrong to cheat on their gf/wife.. they wouldn't cover for them and it is likely they wouldn't stay friends. I know I couldn't "hang" with someone who was cheating on their husband. (People with the same Character.. or in this instance, "the lack thereof.." usually stick together) Definitely true on this one. My H's A was known by some of the coworkers where he and his whore worked. One being the whore's brother and mother, who both work at the same place as my H, to this day. Whore's brother & wife came to my home in the middle of the A, welcomed by my H, and by me of course since I didn't know H was skanking with this guy's sister. To this day, the whore's brother and wife would deny knowing of the A, if I asked them. I wouldn't listen to anything your SO's friends might say, one way or the other, good or bad.
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