Guest Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Hey I'm doing NC with one of my friends, who i really like (love) so ive decided that some distance would be good to help me just get back to seeing him as a friend (it was causing problems in our friendship, me loving him and him just wanting to be friends with me). I started NC a few days ago, i said i need some space to sort myself out. But my question is...... When should you see some sort of difference? and what differences? It was 4 days since i stopped talking to him, and i still wanna talk to and see him, although i know i cant/shouldnt. I just wanna know im making progress and that not talking to him is helping, which i dont think it is thanks to anyone who replies, in advance x x x
WhiteKnight Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 Hey I'm doing NC with one of my friends, who i really like (love) so ive decided that some distance would be good to help me just get back to seeing him as a friend (it was causing problems in our friendship, me loving him and him just wanting to be friends with me). I started NC a few days ago, i said i need some space to sort myself out. But my question is...... When should you see some sort of difference? and what differences? It was 4 days since i stopped talking to him, and i still wanna talk to and see him, although i know i cant/shouldnt. I just wanna know im making progress and that not talking to him is helping, which i dont think it is thanks to anyone who replies, in advance x x x Well there are several ways on how you go about and deal with this situation. Keeping your distance would be the best way to go in my opinion, at least for a good few months or years just until you feel you are strong and ready enough to see your ex in person again. The best way to kill that love you two once shared is the first step of acceptance. You and your ex would have to accept that things didn't work out and regardless whoever dumped who. It is their right and obligation to try and heal things between each other. Also the person who was dumped should be able to accept that things would be better through a loving and caring friendship. In many ways once we get into a relationship, we have already crossed over that border and destroyed the first friendship we had except now you have to take yourself on the next step of 'reconcile'. In some ways you have to reconcile with each other to a point where both of you are content with. Furthermore it would be quite hard on you both to sort things out on better terms where you can get along. Although I do disagree that online friendships are the best method but in some ways if you feel you can't handle of seeing your ex just yet. I suggest you wait to hear they have moved on and found someone else. Give a couple months break from contact and let your ex and yourself try to move on with you life and then when things are much better, try getting back and socialise on and off. Then you might consider making the move of re-establishing contact in a better way (that is, seeing your ex in person in the near future). To be honest the way I treat my ex's, I just leave them alone and see how they want the friendship to be. If they want to be an online friendship, they would have to mean it (as in they want to stay away from you) and stick with it until they could convince me otherwise on why they wish to see you again. Some guys and gals, do it. Its true, but the fact of the matter is it would be quite sad to have that loss of not seeing each other anymore. If all of a sudden they decide to change their mind, well I suppose its up to you if you want to give your personal contact details (includes mobile/cell phone, home phone etc.) and where you live again just to re-establish good things as part of rehealing the friendship. Its hard, and always has been an ongoing learning curve and experience. Well those are my thoughts about it. Try to talk on things that make you both happy and enjoy, avoid the 'past' and try to move on as two civil people. Easier said than done but its worth a shot. Good luck
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