jdluz Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 For the last couple of moths my girlfriend of year and a half as been extra busy working to get promoted, in this time our quality time has been zero, she gets to my place at 1am tired, and falls asleep, conversation is always about work. I have been supporting, always trying to let her know im there in spite of she isnt being a great girlfriend right now, i was proud of her as her acomplishements. Well last week she gets her promotion, she was really happy, and i prepared a special dinner in my house for her. Its was our last good time together but even then, she only talked about work. She didnt stay with me that night because she wanted to go to work in her best shape the other day. The day after that she said she would get past my house so we could spend the night together. She appears at 1am at my place, super tired as always, i got downstairs ad helped her with some bags and went to my car to pick some things from my own, i that confusion, i lost my house keys while i was with her bags all over my hands...When i told i didnt know were my keys were...the hell went losse...i told her..hey dont treat me bad...if you dont want to help me let me be here alone in the street, but dont treat me like that...she grabed the bags of my hands and turned her back on me and went away...damm...how could she???? No other friend would do this to me...going away without knowing if i could get in my house...i didnt even have my car..it was in the garage... Later i found the key...but that heartless#$$$# didnt give a damm if i got home... Well i was mad for 2 days didnt said nothing trying to figure this out....how can someone that says she loves me do something like that...then i received a messenge in the cell saying "So you know, that our relationship is doomed, my priorities have changed, and with that so did my feeling...we talk when i have more time". I replied in a funny way like i didnt care "Damm...just when i thought things would get better". Yesterday she sent me a message saying "Well, it seems that you didnt care anyway", i replied funny again "of course i do, i just didnt thought that the dinner was so bad (about the special dinner i prepared for her promotion), then she called me at night, i could not answer, i didnt know what to say, i know she must be calling to pick her things in my house but i dont want to go throw that... I have this urge to text her and say that i miss her...i dont know what she needs right now...space, or reassurance...She goes from wanting to tattoo my name to out of her priorities!!! Please help..
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Yesterday she sent me a message saying "Well, it seems that you didnt care anyway" I wouldn't pin my hopes on this meaning much. That's her ego talking, not her heart. I wouldn't contact her at all. No doubt any contact you make will be met with at best exasperation, and at worst downright hostility. Pack her stuff in some bags, and leave them in front of her door. No need to contact her - that should leave a pretty clear message in and of itself.
Author jdluz Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 Well but can this temporary, can stress make someone turn her back on everything? I agree i must let her stuff at her place so i dont have to have turn her back on me in mine. What if she is in panic with her new assignment, and is turning her hostility, but deep inside she need to feel im there no matter what! I dont answer her phone call because she must be pissed about me not chasing her...so i know she will be hostile, is how she protect herself. Sometimes women say things so we go and tell her its not true... but im so hurt...im numb...
Guest Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 just received a message saying "You should try harder to be the best boyfriend" WTF..what does she want??? Is she missing me but want so save her face.I didnt reply i think she is playing with me.. Come on guys talk to me...im all alone here...i dont want to nag my friend
Author jdluz Posted March 27, 2007 Author Posted March 27, 2007 just received a message saying "You should try harder to be the best boyfriend" WTF..what does she want??? Is she missing me but want so save her face.I didnt reply i think she is playing with me.. Come on guys talk to me...im all alone here...i dont want to nag my friend
guest Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 You don't want to go through the heart ache and pain of being involved with someone who only thinks of themselves, do you? That is HER. She is being selfish and inconsiderate and you are the sad bloke who is on the receiving end of it. I can't believe that she left you not knowing if you could get into your house. It IS clear that her priorities have shanged and that you are not the priority. I am sorry that I am sounding harsh here and I don't want to hurt your feelings, but she needs to simmer in her own juices for awhile, if not permanently. Remember, WE treat people how to treat us...... if you text her with an "I miss you" message, you have just given her permission to wipe her feet on you again. Only, next time it will be worse. Get some back bone.....borrow it if you have to....stand up to her and maybe she'll straighten up and maybe not. Don't be afraid to take the chance that maybe she'll leave for good....if she doesn't straighten up, your life is gonna be hell with her.
princessa Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 I'm so sorry that she's treating you like that. I don't understand why you want to stay in this relationship. Nobody just leaves their SO on the street without making sure they're safe and have a place to sleep, even DURING an argument. She seems selfish and immature. What's going to happen if you get sick and need her support? What does she contribute to your life? You should be with somebody who treats you with respect and who cares about you.
Author jdluz Posted March 27, 2007 Author Posted March 27, 2007 Thanks for your replies...that gives me strenght not to say something stupid that will only look weak at her eyes... i real am afraid to lose her... but as you said i cannot look has i will stay no mater what, or it will be worst in the future...theres another topic in narcissim that is going on now in this forum,im reading about it...and that is my gb right there... :s
princessa Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 i real am afraid to lose her... Why? What does she contribute to your life?
Author jdluz Posted March 27, 2007 Author Posted March 27, 2007 30% of the time she is funny and naughty, playfull and caring...the rest is as she didnt care the outcome of her actions... In the beginning she treated me like a god...as time passed she became more mean when things dont go her way...just when i get hooked..when i get more distant she begins to be more sweet...when im hooked again the abuse begins...always hoping that she gets to be the girl i knew first...
princessa Posted March 27, 2007 Posted March 27, 2007 And how do you plan to confront her about her mean phases, and work on them, when she doesn't even have the time to have dinner with you? Moreover, when she says that on top of everything she doesn't even want to see you aynmore! Your relationship doesn't seem very healthy, you know, being funny, sweet, and naughty are qualities that can be found in plenty of other girls!
Author jdluz Posted March 27, 2007 Author Posted March 27, 2007 Your relationship doesn't seem very healthy, you know, being funny, sweet, and naughty are qualities that can be found in plenty of other girls! Not so easy to find one. She didnt say that doesnt want to see me...but she obviously wants me to take the first step. But You are right. I need a good relationship all the time not being miserable half the time. Im on my way to dumping her stuff in her aparthment and never take her teasing phonecalls again... Hope to have the backbone to do that... its hurting...
Author jdluz Posted March 28, 2007 Author Posted March 28, 2007 I got a message from her telling she didn't know if she likes me after i asked her by text. That give me more strength to do what i had to do. i just returned from returning her stuff to were she lives...man im broken... She already arrived, so i got the rage message already: "What you did is stupid. Hope you are prepared for the consequences." I have a message prepared "If you ever know that you love you know how to find me. But be sure you do love me because i don't want to ever get pain because of you. I deserve someone crazy about me.." Should i send it...or just disappear. She is calling on my phone right now...but i knows is to be hostile...so im ignoring... Anybody as a idea where this is going? Any similar stories?
princessa Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Just disappear, don't talk to her if she's in an angry state, it will not solve anything. Don't reply to her messages until she cools off and is prepared to calmly say whatever she needs to say. She already said that she doesn't like you, so she'll probably just realize that there's no point in calling anymore once her anger has subsided. Why is she calling you anyway? It seems that she's trying to bully you into kissing her feet after she rejected you by telling you she's not sure anymore. Don't put up with her crap. If she really wanted you back, she'd be leaving soft and sweet I'm sorry I want you back messages. But even then, her being sweet once in a while is not worth putting up with her crap. Instead of being concerned with why you aren't happy within the relationship, she just insults you and calls you stupid. Comon man you deserve more respect than that. Stand up for yourself.
Author jdluz Posted March 28, 2007 Author Posted March 28, 2007 She didnt called anymore...like you said im going to disapear.. a part of me wishes she tries to win me back...but after all this i guess is a stupid assumption... I cant be with someone who doesnt know what she wants...but im in mixed feeling state like i put more wood in the fire... Im in portugal its 3am i dont think im sleeping tonight
LakesideDream Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 She didnt called anymore...like you said im going to disapear.. a part of me wishes she tries to win me back...but after all this i guess is a stupid assumption... I cant be with someone who doesnt know what she wants...but im in mixed feeling state like i put more wood in the fire... Im in portugal its 3am i dont think im sleeping tonight How very "metro-sexual" of you! I suggest you go to the spa for a hairdo and manicure.. you'll feel so much better.
Author jdluz Posted March 28, 2007 Author Posted March 28, 2007 dont make fun... im pouring my heart here so my friends dont have to bear with me. Its not easy to let it go when you love someone. Its natural for me to wish that she shows some commitment to change. Unfortunately her rage message was exactly what i was expecting of her.
princessa Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 dont make fun... im pouring my heart here so my friends dont have to bear with me. Its not easy to let it go when you love someone. Its natural for me to wish that she shows some commitment to change. Unfortunately her rage message was exactly what i was expecting of her. Don't listen to him... look just do the right thing and let her go.. I doubt that she will ever change, she alredy told you that she does't have the time to do that... I mean, there's not much else you can do... I sympathize with your pain, we've all been there.. It hurts to let somebody go even you know they weren't good for you... Or maybe you're not aware of it just yet... but in time it will get better and one day you will wake up and see her for who she really is... somebody who didn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated! Good luck..
Salicious Crumb Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 jdluz....consider all of this a blessing. Now when you are ready to date again, you can find a real woman who won't treat you bad. It'll be a long hard search, but i believe they are out there. This is actually a good thing...can you think of what would happen if you ended up marrying her? And the thing that struck me funny is...she shows up at your place at 1am?...hmmm...wonder what she was doing....work?....I doubt it. Its a good thing, don't go back to this unappreciative female version of a scumbag.
Salicious Crumb Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 How very "metro-sexual" of you! Well if that wasn't the reply of a complete imbecile.
LakesideDream Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Sorry you didn't like the reply Crumb. Obviously there is much more to this story that hasn't been told. One can only assume that the story teller has left out the parts that don't shine brightly on him. As to the rest... Without an extremely compelling reason, I do not believe anyone would have put up with the actions this man claims to have put up with... for love. It's just not credible. It's a BF/GF relationship, not a long term marriage, or even an engagement.
Author jdluz Posted March 28, 2007 Author Posted March 28, 2007 Sorry you didn't like the reply Crumb. Obviously there is much more to this story that hasn't been told. One can only assume that the story teller has left out the parts that don't shine brightly on him. As to the rest... Without an extremely compelling reason, I do not believe anyone would have put up with the actions this man claims to have put up with... for love. It's just not credible. It's a BF/GF relationship, not a long term marriage, or even an engagement. Yes it has more to it...im taking a master degree so i have more time then her...so i was always there...guess she got tired of me. She works in a mall so go there and see if shes there is public...so i dont think shes was straying, but maybe she has interest in someone ate the job..maybe... Got another call from her...but NC for now... As for not credible..man you are right have to be a a#$hole to put up with this crap and i fell bad about that...but i was married before...so i guess when im in a relationship maybe im more committed then most...i dont know...i fell like i failed myself
Author jdluz Posted March 28, 2007 Author Posted March 28, 2007 NEED HELP... She already called me 8 times...and now sent a message sayin "You better pick up the phone or will be worst for you" WTF...is her a psico or what...what does she want...wants to be her the one o dumps me? she was the one who started it...i dont understand...
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