How to spot a genuine man

[funkify]

I'll admit...I'm in a bitter stage. Since I was a teen I've struggled in love and now I'm 23. I'm a very respectful, mature, educated and intelligent woman. I'm not your average girl and men realise this almost instantly after they meet me. I've also been told that I'm very 'hot', even though I don't care much for superficial compliments.

 

6 months ago I broke up with a man I'd been on-and-off with for nearly 5 years. He loved me unconditionally, but for some reason I fell out of love. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Since then, I've met many men whose interest wanes after a few dates. They play hard to get, are unrealiable, and basically not all that interested. I started to lose hope...until 2 months ago.

 

I met the man of my dreams. He had all the qualities I was looking for in a man. There was an instant connection. From that moment on my time wiht him was pure bliss. He was very affectionate; always wanted to cuddle and look into my eyes, and if during the night in bed I slipped away from his grasp he made sure he had his hands wrapped around me again. We had deep and meaningfuls about life and love, being hurt even though we were always good to the other half. He would spontaneously want to visit me at night, just to cuddle because he missed me. He introduced me to his parents and wanted me at important events in his life. I had never felt this way about anyone and was sure we were meant to be. I started to understand why I had felt so unsure about my long-term ex...must have been because I was supposed to meet this man, the man I was meant to be with.

 

How wrong was I? A few days ago I found out that he was only after a fling and only kept seeing me because he felt bad. He had no intention of entering a actual relationship with me. He was also sleeping around with other women at the same time as he was seeing me.

 

I can't believe my judgement was so off-track. He knew I'd been hurt before and sympathised with me. How am I ever supposed to trust a man I date? How do I know they don't just want to get into my pants? I was prepared to give up everything to be with this man. I don't know how to trust my judgement anymore. I was so sure this man was genuine, now I'm just angry at how cruel men can be when they know the girl they are dealing with is such a good person. Why do men screw around good people? Sure, screw around the sluts...but why the women who treat them like gold?

 

Please help. I feel so lost, I'm scared of dating anyone now...I don't want to get hurt anymore.

[Fiona]

I've met the man of my dreams several times now. Some have left quicker than others, it's the one that stays the longest that makes you happiest.

 

A small secret... always work hard at any relationship, no matter how long you've been together. Never take it for granted and never let it consume you. Someone will take his place soon enough.

[Kamille]

That's so cruel! And so rough! I think advice is hard to give on this one because honey, nobody deserves to be treated that way!

 

Still, here are a few suggestions. Maybe you put too much stock in being in love? After two months with a man, you shouldn't be ready or able to sacrifice everything for him. If anything, you two should merely be starting to think about working to build your life together, taking each other's goals into account.

 

I don't know how you meet the men you are dating, but one thing that works best for me is to let friends introduce me to guys. That way they actually come with references if you will.

 

The best way to weed out the weak ones is to take your time at the very beginning of a relationship. Take your time before falling in love and try to always keep your balance.

 

Your most recent ex sounds like the kind of guy who promises a lot and offers a lot very fast because he can because he does not actually mean it. A genuine man will take his time because he also is looking for a genuine woman.

[2ndIINone]

I'm a very respectful, mature, educated and intelligent woman. I'm not your average girl and men realise this almost instantly after they meet me.

 

There was an instant connection. From that moment on my time wiht him was pure bliss. He was very affectionate; always wanted to cuddle and look into my eyes, and if during the night in bed I slipped away from his grasp he made sure he had his hands wrapped around me again. We had deep and meaningfuls about life and love, being hurt even though we were always good to the other half. He would spontaneously want to visit me at night, just to cuddle because he missed me.

 

ya know the saying "too good to be true."???

 

At 23, you should've heard this is called.... the "honeymoon" period. Right or wrong... this particular stage of most relationships... wears off.

 

I agree with Kamille... you definately sounded like you wanted to be in love a little too much.

 

You're only 23... you misjudged someone... big deal. Believe me, lessons are far from over.

 

By no means were you wrong in this relationship... he should've never kept you around or lead you on if he KNEW he wasn't stickin' around. If he was mature himself... he would've ended it early on at first doubts.

[funkify]

You're only 23... you misjudged someone... big deal. Believe me, lessons are far from over.

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound full of myself in the description...it is true though.

 

Also don't mean to be overly dramatic about the situation, you have to understand I'm still hurting.

[Poboy]

i think you got conned by a nice guy. judging by your description of him , he sounds alright for any genuine guy but its just that his requirement from this relationship and intention was not what you thought.

 

my question to you : did you ever discuss what is he looking for in the relationship and what are you looking for.

 

well you have to give yourself time off and recover from this fully till someone right come along and you would go back into the dating scene. the world is full of all kinds of people... you just met one of those bad ones . we all do at some point of time , in business , work , family , friends , relationships etc... meeting such people is also impontant part of life because you get real life exereince of the kind of individuals out there and how to be a bit more careful in the future.

 

learn from this relationship where you went wrong , the signs and how you can improve in the future relationships... also dont over analyse & judge the guys you meet thinking they would turn out like this one... keep n open mind , trust your instincts and give yourself and the nice guys ( they are there ) a genuine chance... you just met one bad guy , the next one is a different person ... good or bad , could be either and thats how its always is .

 

good luck

[Curmudgeon]

I have to wonder if you might be more in love with the idea of being in love than you might be with the object of your affections.

 

There are decidedly genuine men out there with a sense of honor and integrity. It just takes time and effort to discover one who is. I'd suggest reeling in the emotions for awhile and getting to really know someone before you let them go. That takes more than a few dates and/or nights of passion. You need to see them in a number of different situations, gauge how they treat other people, see who they attract, find out how many real friends they have, learn a bit about their upbringing and family, etc.

 

I think that would be a good start.

 

My wife was once where you were with some real trust and abandonment issues towards men. She'd been divorced for 18 years and totally uninvolved and dateless, by choice, for 11 of them. She too had experienced her share of users and losers. When I finally asked her out after five years of friendship, thankfully she took a chance on me.

 

Just as she was and remains, some things are truly worth waiting for.

[Trialbyfire]

No matter how quickly you connect, slow down. The players always know how to snag unwary, vulnerable women. Most of these guys have a strong sense of empathy so they're able to read you pretty easily and figure out what you want. The guy he portrayed doesn't exist.

[dropdeadlegs]

funkify,

 

The description you posted would have reeled me in. I caution being willing to give up much of anything in one's life before one year, minimum, preferably two years. The honeymoon phase can be very intoxicating.

 

However, that decription could have been of my man, yet he was genuine and continues to be so. Especially the comments about moving during the night. My BF used to wake up and say "where you going?" when I wasn't going anywhere, just shifting or going to the bathroom. He doesn't do that anymore because he feels secure, and while his insecurity wasn't as unhealthy as it might sound, he has been abandoned in the past by women. Some by death, some by natural ways. Both his sister and his mother died when he was young. His wife and SO left in other ways (divorce and pretty much abandonment.)

 

His words and initial actions seemed like a genuine man to me, but he may have learned the role and still not be living it.

 

I'm sorry you were hurt.

[Green]

Look things ended u'll be fine... every guy you date wont stick around 5 years till you dump him for no reason. Dont sleep with the guy till ur engaged or married if your so afraid of nongenuine men. That guy who broke up with you probably did like you, and maybe he did stick around a little longer than he would have had he not felt bad, but when your just dating and uve only known the person a few months or a few weeks statisticaly im guessing theres a 80-90% chance of things ending

[Mustang1984]

6 months ago a woman broke up with me after 5.5 years. I loved her unconditionally and treated her so good, but for some reason she fell out of love with me. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Since then, I've met no one and I am a broken man with nothing more than a heart broken up into a million pieces. I wanted to marry the girl and she just went no contact out of no where with no valid explanation. I am a good looking, successful, and truely nice guy. She left me for a high school drop out druggie bad boy.

 

I truely want to sympathize with you and I do, but its hard becuase my ex hurt me just like you probly did with that first guy and ill never be the same. I wish i had never met her, becuase this intense pain just wasnt worth it.

 

She went right from me to this guy and told me how madly in love she was with him and that they were sleeping together even though we never slept together. She told me she wanted to wait till marige. What the heck.

 

Please forgive the emotion here cause im still very bitter about what my ex did to me and you kind of sound like her in this post. It sounds to me like the first guy was willing to be there through good times and bad no matter what. Why did you give that up? Did he change? Did you change? I'm not saying you were right or wrong in breaking up with him. I'm just hoping that you had a very good reason and didnt just give him up becuase you wanted to see what else was out there. Thats never a valid reason and its a mistake many make.

 

You sound like a nice girl and I understand your frustration and fear with dating. I really dont feel like putting in another 5.5 years with a girl only to have her toss me aside for no reason. Its scary, but you have to tak risks in order to meet someone special.

[Green]

that story sucked... 5.5 years no sex what were u thinking... please renew my faith in humanity and atleast tell me ur were getting bj's or she let you do her in arse... a hand job or something

[Mustang1984]

lol. yes we were sexually active just no intercourse. we did everything else. I'm not that stupid.lol. I'm still pissed though cause technically im still a virgin after all that.

[Green]

well darnet u got to go get laid this weekend make things right, screw some chick over its the way of the world

[What?]

No matter how quickly you connect, slow down. The players always know how to snag unwary, vulnerable women. Most of these guys have a strong sense of empathy so they're able to read you pretty easily and figure out what you want. The guy he portrayed doesn't exist.

 

Yes he does! There are guys out there (yes I know, few and far between) that are everything they say they are. Make him prove it, yes. But you have to give him the opportunity. I see how women can get burned by buying into BS, but it is just so frustrating to the real nice guy that you will judge us on your past experiences.

 

I have lost relationships to women who feel the way you do, but was not after the things you speak of. I was genuinely into her. I would take any test she wanted to give me to prove it. No sex for 10 years? If I was that into her, I could do it. I've been around the block enough times to know that sex isn't everything, and I yearn for an emotional connection with a lady first because the sex just falls into place after that.

 

And the sex is 100 times better when you have a connection. A real nice guy IMHO has a hard time reading women, they just want to cut out the games. Any man worthy of your love will do what they can to meet your needs. Overanalyzing things is just detrimental. I also think a woman can see when a guy is sincere, they just choose to believe it or not.

[funkify]

6 months ago a woman broke up with me after 5.5 years. I loved her unconditionally and treated her so good, but for some reason she fell out of love with me. It was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. Since then, I've met no one and I am a broken man with nothing more than a heart broken up into a million pieces. I wanted to marry the girl and she just went no contact out of no where with no valid explanation. I am a good looking, successful, and truely nice guy. She left me for a high school drop out druggie bad boy.

 

I truely want to sympathize with you and I do, but its hard becuase my ex hurt me just like you probly did with that first guy and ill never be the same. I wish i had never met her, becuase this intense pain just wasnt worth it.

 

She went right from me to this guy and told me how madly in love she was with him and that they were sleeping together even though we never slept together. She told me she wanted to wait till marige. What the heck.

 

Please forgive the emotion here cause im still very bitter about what my ex did to me and you kind of sound like her in this post. It sounds to me like the first guy was willing to be there through good times and bad no matter what. Why did you give that up? Did he change? Did you change? I'm not saying you were right or wrong in breaking up with him. I'm just hoping that you had a very good reason and didnt just give him up becuase you wanted to see what else was out there. Thats never a valid reason and its a mistake many make.

 

You sound like a nice girl and I understand your frustration and fear with dating. I really dont feel like putting in another 5.5 years with a girl only to have her toss me aside for no reason. Its scary, but you have to tak risks in order to meet someone special.

 

I can't really explain it. Things weren't 100% perfect but I just didn't have the patience/will to work it out. He was my first serious relationship and for some reason I felt like I there was someone else I was meant to be with. I guess I changed, I grew up and realised there is a big world out there. I met him at 18 and I didn't really know what kind of man I was looking to be with forever, before I knew it we were serious and he already knew he wanted to be with me forever. I still think about it sometimes when I get hurt by a man now...that maybe I threw away the best thing that ever happened to me.

[Mustang1984]

Believe me your not the first girl to do what you did with that first guy and I'm certainly not the first guy to be the victim of it. I understand your reasoning, becuase many women do the same. I met my ex at 17 and as she grew older she too wanted to see what else was out there even though she admitted I was so wonderful.

 

Now heres the catch. Our sociaty preches that it is not normal and not possible to find that right person the first time around. However the laws of probability do not care about what our sociaty thinks. The fact is that there are people out there who will meet "the one" the first time around. Its like winning the lottery. Unfortunatly often our sociatys believe that "this isnt possible" often wins and people will ditch that first one anyway even if they are truely amazing.

 

I dont know if you watch the show deal or no deal but I'm going to use it for my analogy here. You chose to get rid of your case and go for the million. However, did you have a million dollars in your case already? Nobody knows. Maybe you did give up the best thing you would ever find and maybe you didnt. I hope that the million is still out there on the board for you though, becuase you seem like a nice person who just fell into that "I want to see what else is out there just for the heck of it" trap that everyone falls into.

 

You said things werent perfect and I dont know the details of your relationship with the guy so maybe it was for the better I dont know. Some people are lucky out there and know what they want in life and who they want to spend it with. I always knew what career I wanted and what I wanted in a girl and it seems your ex knew this as well. The fact that you were unsure is prefectly fine, becuase most don't. The catch 22 however to getting rid of that first guy was that you may years from now go "wow, that is what I wanted and now hes gone". I pray that dosent happen and most likely won't, but I do know one of these people who is in my family and she regrets it everyday. So, I hope that you start having some better luck with guys and that you find that special someone out there.

[LaughMachine]

I'll admit...I'm in a bitter stage. Since I was a teen I've struggled in love and now I'm 23. I'm a very respectful, mature, educated and intelligent woman. I'm not your average girl and men realise this almost instantly after they meet me. I've also been told that I'm very 'hot', even though I don't care much for superficial compliments.

 

6 months ago I broke up with a man I'd been on-and-off with for nearly 5 years. He loved me unconditionally, but for some reason I fell out of love. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Since then, I've met many men whose interest wanes after a few dates. They play hard to get, are unrealiable, and basically not all that interested. I started to lose hope...until 2 months ago.

 

I met the man of my dreams. He had all the qualities I was looking for in a man. There was an instant connection. From that moment on my time wiht him was pure bliss. He was very affectionate; always wanted to cuddle and look into my eyes, and if during the night in bed I slipped away from his grasp he made sure he had his hands wrapped around me again. We had deep and meaningfuls about life and love, being hurt even though we were always good to the other half. He would spontaneously want to visit me at night, just to cuddle because he missed me. He introduced me to his parents and wanted me at important events in his life. I had never felt this way about anyone and was sure we were meant to be. I started to understand why I had felt so unsure about my long-term ex...must have been because I was supposed to meet this man, the man I was meant to be with.

 

How wrong was I? A few days ago I found out that he was only after a fling and only kept seeing me because he felt bad. He had no intention of entering a actual relationship with me. He was also sleeping around with other women at the same time as he was seeing me.

 

I can't believe my judgement was so off-track. He knew I'd been hurt before and sympathised with me. How am I ever supposed to trust a man I date? How do I know they don't just want to get into my pants? I was prepared to give up everything to be with this man. I don't know how to trust my judgement anymore. I was so sure this man was genuine, now I'm just angry at how cruel men can be when they know the girl they are dealing with is such a good person. Why do men screw around good people? Sure, screw around the sluts...but why the women who treat them like gold?

 

Please help. I feel so lost, I'm scared of dating anyone now...I don't want to get hurt anymore.

 

 

Ah reading this makes me all the more bitter. It's hard to detect a true genuine guy because alot of guys know what girls want in a guy and can act their way through it.

 

I was reading this with joy until I got down to the last cuple of paragraphs and my smile turned to BLEH. I'm sorry man....You never know who you can trust but I hope this guy eats a pile of rocks or something.

[monkey00]

 

Now heres the catch. Our sociaty preches that it is not normal and not possible to find that right person the first time around. However the laws of probability do not care about what our sociaty thinks. The fact is that there are people out there who will meet "the one" the first time around. Its like winning the lottery. Unfortunatly often our sociatys believe that "this isnt possible" often wins and people will ditch that first one anyway even if they are truely amazing.

 

Indeed you could say it's societies' fault. We take a lot of everyday things for granted that we dont realize its true value once its lost. With the idea of 'individualism' and greener on the other side...it's all about risk taking, and somehow we magically expect our efforts to pay off in the long run.

 

And back to what you said, maybe the first time around you do find a diamond among rocks. But its normal human behavior to be in denial, perhaps you dont feel like you deserve it: its too good to be true - could there be a catch/flaw? Or that the situation may be 'too perfect - too fairytale', and it would rather appear more normal if problems/arguments did exist.

 

Yea back then before better nutrition, doctors and science, with constant war and diseases people at best lived to be around 30 or 40 if they were lucky - they couldnt afford to sleep around or be risk takers. They had a constrained time limit to start families and pass their genes on.

 

Genuine guys exist, good luck with finding mr right.

[Gunny376]

I'll admit...I'm in a bitter stage. Since I was a teen I've struggled in love and now I'm 23. I'm a very respectful, mature, educated and intelligent woman. I'm not your average girl and men realise this almost instantly after they meet me. I've also been told that I'm very 'hot', even though I don't care much for superficial compliments.

 

6 months ago I broke up with a man I'd been on-and-off with for nearly 5 years. He loved me unconditionally, but for some reason I fell out of love. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Since then, I've met many men whose interest wanes after a few dates. They play hard to get, are unrealiable, and basically not all that interested. I started to lose hope...until 2 months ago.

 

I met the man of my dreams. He had all the qualities I was looking for in a man. There was an instant connection. From that moment on my time wiht him was pure bliss. He was very affectionate; always wanted to cuddle and look into my eyes, and if during the night in bed I slipped away from his grasp he made sure he had his hands wrapped around me again. We had deep and meaningfuls about life and love, being hurt even though we were always good to the other half. He would spontaneously want to visit me at night, just to cuddle because he missed me. He introduced me to his parents and wanted me at important events in his life. I had never felt this way about anyone and was sure we were meant to be. I started to understand why I had felt so unsure about my long-term ex...must have been because I was supposed to meet this man, the man I was meant to be with.

 

How wrong was I? A few days ago I found out that he was only after a fling and only kept seeing me because he felt bad. He had no intention of entering a actual relationship with me. He was also sleeping around with other women at the same time as he was seeing me.

 

I can't believe my judgement was so off-track. He knew I'd been hurt before and sympathised with me. How am I ever supposed to trust a man I date? How do I know they don't just want to get into my pants? I was prepared to give up everything to be with this man. I don't know how to trust my judgement anymore. I was so sure this man was genuine, now I'm just angry at how cruel men can be when they know the girl they are dealing with is such a good person. Why do men screw around good people? Sure, screw around the sluts...but why the women who treat them like gold?

 

Please help. I feel so lost, I'm scared of dating anyone now...I don't want to get hurt anymore.

 

First off there Sweetheart, I'm sure that you're just full of self-confidence, and self-assurance. But, the person that you are the essence of who you are, the potential of what you can be isn't defined by the fact of what you've got hanging off your chest and what you've got between your legs, its defined by what you've between your ears, and it sounds as though you've got a lot going on there for you.

 

You're only 23, and if I had been born a girl ~ if I'd been born a gal, and I was 23 I'd be following Lady Jane and Record Producer around like a love sick puppy. I'd read every post they ever made, I read every book they ever read, and suggested reading. LJ and RP sometimes clash, but its because they're both strong, self-defined, independent women.

 

There's no doubt in my military mind that either one of them wouldn't hestiate for a second to kick their husbands to the curb if they didn't meet the standard, and that standard is pretty high. They expect a lot, but you know what? They give a lot in return for their investment of time, effort, energy, etc, and they expect a good ROI ~ Return On Investment.

 

You're problem as possed is multi-fold. First off, your 23. Girls from the 'get-go' (sorry, I'm a Southerner ~ I might even 'ya;ll' you before I'm done ) are about 10 years more emotionally more mature than guys of the same age group. So the guy you should be looking for is about (1/2 your age x 7 = 37)

 

LOL! Now that you're back from the bathroom from hurling ~ there's reasons for this. First your mentally, emotionally on the same page, the other is that he's "settled" in his life, in his job, and in his carrer. He's did the club thing, the chasing azz thing, the whatever thing, and he's probally ready to settle down with just one good man loving one good woman.

 

Another is that a woman doesn't hit her sexual peak until her late twenties and thirties. Guys hit there's around 18 ~ LOL. So if you look and find a guy in their early to mid to late thirties you're not only going to find a guy that's sexually compatibale (generally speaking ~ there's going to be exceptions) with you as you reach your sexual peak. (Sidenote, a woman's nerve endings don't fully develop in her gential areas until age 35)

 

With all that said, and out of the way, (and I'm speaking to you as if you were my daughter, my own being 27 in August) you need to look for someone whose not wrapped up into materialistic BS, whose wants to be a part of something bigger than themselves. Someone who is fully aware of their center of consious. Someone who knows who they are and what they're about. Who understands and comprehends their own personal weaknessses, and had fully identified them and who seeks constant self improvement. Someone who is not weak minded to other women, sex, drink, gambling, drugs, porn.

 

Someone who puts the safety, well-being and concern of others before themselves. Someone who the words "Faith, fidelity, intergrity, honor" mean something.

 

He'll probally be a cop, a firefighter, a solider, a sailor, a Guardsman, a Marine. But, you've got to be careful there, because they've got they're fair share of slimeballs. He doesn't have to be one of those guys, but they're harder to filter out in the general population.

 

The guy you're looking for is the guy that walked into the Twin Towers on 9/11 with no regard for his own life but only that of others. The guy that's going to put you and your children from him frist and foremost!

 

You know what! They're out there ~ I know ~ I'm one of them! I'd gladly lay down my life for my children, and for my blessed, God-sent GS! God pity the fool that ever hurts one of them ~ I WON'T!

 

They're just dead men walking!

 

So what I guess what I'm saying is find yourself a Marine that belives in traditional values, honor, integrity ~ a smart one ~ a officer that has deep religious convictions! LtGen Zinni is a damn good example, (Gogglle him) of what you're looking for.

 

Damn good man! Damn good man!

[computerguy9355]

I'll admit...I'm in a bitter stage. Since I was a teen I've struggled in love and now I'm 23. I'm a very respectful, mature, educated and intelligent woman. I'm not your average girl and men realise this almost instantly after they meet me. I've also been told that I'm very 'hot', even though I don't care much for superficial compliments.

 

6 months ago I broke up with a man I'd been on-and-off with for nearly 5 years. He loved me unconditionally, but for some reason I fell out of love. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Since then, I've met many men whose interest wanes after a few dates. They play hard to get, are unrealiable, and basically not all that interested. I started to lose hope...until 2 months ago.

 

I met the man of my dreams. He had all the qualities I was looking for in a man. There was an instant connection. From that moment on my time wiht him was pure bliss. He was very affectionate; always wanted to cuddle and look into my eyes, and if during the night in bed I slipped away from his grasp he made sure he had his hands wrapped around me again. We had deep and meaningfuls about life and love, being hurt even though we were always good to the other half. He would spontaneously want to visit me at night, just to cuddle because he missed me. He introduced me to his parents and wanted me at important events in his life. I had never felt this way about anyone and was sure we were meant to be. I started to understand why I had felt so unsure about my long-term ex...must have been because I was supposed to meet this man, the man I was meant to be with.

 

How wrong was I? A few days ago I found out that he was only after a fling and only kept seeing me because he felt bad. He had no intention of entering a actual relationship with me. He was also sleeping around with other women at the same time as he was seeing me.

 

I can't believe my judgement was so off-track. He knew I'd been hurt before and sympathised with me. How am I ever supposed to trust a man I date? How do I know they don't just want to get into my pants? I was prepared to give up everything to be with this man. I don't know how to trust my judgement anymore. I was so sure this man was genuine, now I'm just angry at how cruel men can be when they know the girl they are dealing with is such a good person. Why do men screw around good people? Sure, screw around the sluts...but why the women who treat them like gold?

 

Please help. I feel so lost, I'm scared of dating anyone now...I don't want to get hurt anymore.

 

 

why are you scared? have you ever put yourself in the opposite side?

 

do you know why men play hard-to-get and unreliable? because women started this at first place

 

i can't even tell you how many women i met that likes to play hard-to-get and extremely unreliable/immature

 

if you are really 'mature', then face it and move on, don't let it bother you. Thats what a MATURE person would do. Not keep thinking it over and over

[Erik]

He was very affectionate; always wanted to cuddle and look into my eyes, and if during the night in bed I slipped away from his grasp he made sure he had his hands wrapped around me again. We had deep and meaningfuls about life and love, being hurt even though we were always good to the other half. He would spontaneously want to visit me at night, just to cuddle because he missed me. He introduced me to his parents and wanted me at important events in his life.

 

Red flags, red flags!! No healthy man behaves like this. This guy is a loser, a gay or a psycho, good thing you are rid of him.

[dropdeadlegs]

Red flags, red flags!! No healthy man behaves like this. This guy is a loser, a gay or a psycho, good thing you are rid of him.

Please elaborate if you weren't kidding.

[Erik]

Please elaborate if you weren't kidding.

 

 

Tongue in cheek: yes. Kidding: no.

 

Cuddling and such stuff is not natural to a man. You cuddle to please a girl. Overdo it, and the girl will tire of you because she will cease to see you as a man.

[Erik]

And yes, even Tarzan probably likes cuddling from time to time; I'm not saying the guy is playing, but it sounds phony with all the girlie-stuff. My take is, that he's deliberately trying to act in a way he thinks women likes.