flower321 Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I have been with my boyfriend for two years. We met the last couple weeks of high school, spent the summer together, and then we were separated for college for a year. Everything went well that year and despite being eight hours apart, we were able to see each other every other weekend to every three weeks. We had good communication and understanding of what we both thought was okay, and tried to please one another while still being ourselves. This year he transferred to the college I go to and things have been going pretty well also. Next year we will both be transferring again. This is why I am writing here. I am so scared. He decided to join a fraternity, which is supposesably going to be good to have on his resume after he finishes school. I have a hard time seeing how a fraternity can be a good thing. When I think of fraternities I think of a lot of drinking and negative things. He keeps telling me that this one is different though. Neither of us have ever been very big drinkers, however, I know he is very excited to start doing it regularly. I’m not sure if it is my lack of knowledge about drinking, trust, or what, which scares me so much about this. I keep having terrible images, thoughts and situations run though my head. I can’t seem to get over the fact that I think he is going to drink too much and do something stupid. I already know that he plans on getting drunk once a week, occasionally more, which makes me terribly uncomfortable. I know I shouldn’t be letting this affect me like it is… but I just can’t seem to get it off of my mind. He tells me that everything is going to be fine next year and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. I’m afraid that I am going to let my worries about all these situations push him away, or I am going to crack under all of the pressure I have put myself under. I know I just need to let go, but I am having such a difficult time doing that. I don’t know what to do to get over these worries, or what I should tell him. He is also quite a bit more outgoing than I am which adds some worry. He already knows how I feel about a lot of these things, but he seems to have his mind made up. Everything is very black and white for him. Every so often I’ll start to feel better and more confident about things being okay, but I always come back to the same old things, I just can’t control it. What should I do? I am so confused. Is there anyone that actually has real information about fraternities, or college drinking that could help set my worries straight? Am I right or way off base? I want things to work out so bad, but I am afraid they won’t if I can’t get myself together. Any advice would help. Thank you so much for taking your time to read this long entry also, I really appreciate it.
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