kymberann Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Uuugh.... so here is my gripe. I have been seeing a guy for about two months, we became physically intimate about two weeks ago. I of course like this guy but... 1. He is 32 I am 37, but not a big deal 2.Recently divorced about 2 years out 3.He's dated only one person since 4.He is from central america, so his culture dictates a lot of what has been happening 5.Example, he asks his older brother if he can go on a date with me I find it chivalrous, but now there are problems 6. He is failry conservative although he says he isn't. 7.It's obvious I have more experience then him SO here are the problems. He disagrees with sex before marriage and I wish he would have told me this before we had sex, because now he feels quilty. He and I spent the night together last night for the first time. Came out that we only wanted to see each other, I want that too. HOwever he said that his brother wants him to be alone, not with anybody or back with his x wife. His x has even encouraged him to go out and date. He told me that after he got divorced he didn't want to be with anyone, that he would have been happy just being by himself. Last night he told me that's not what he wants now! He said he misses being married, but wouldn't get back with the x even if she asked which I don't think she would anyway. He told me about his marriage, they married young, she was older they weren't together very long then seperated. He said they weren't really close to begin with. Very strange. But now he is battling with his older brother. It's all mainly culture. He has one sister who told his brother to back off and he has another older brother who lives in Guatamala who knows about me and has already invited me to go out and visit! I told him I can't compete with his older brother. What a weird situation! HIs brother called to check up on him last night when we were together. He didn't answer the phone and in fact left it out in his car, probably because he knoew the brother was going to call. So when he found his brother had called, he got all worried and thought he would be "in trouble". So he left early. I called ihm this morning, to see how he was. Left a message and he never called. I called later and we talked, he said he was waiting for his brother to come home so they could talk. He said his x wife called and his brother wanted to go talk with her and tell her "something". So he was waiting. He said he felt like a little kid waiting for a punishment and that he shouldn't feel like that, said he was embarrassed that his brother is doing this, but didn't say what he is willing to do to stop it. So my thinking is ...culture aside who in their right mind would turn down a potential relationship? If he didn't want to have anything to do with me, or knew his brother would not be accepting then why did he initiate dating me? Why is his brother doing this? So should I bolt? We have lots in common, and yep I do see this going somewhere. I just never htought a brother would get in the way! Tell me what you think!
bridget_jones Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Sorry, but....he's just not that into you. You are making it too complicated when the bottom line is he doesn't want a relationship with you. Culture, needing brother's input, etc. etc. etc. Stop making excuses. It sounds like his exwife is still in the picture, they are communicating and such. Please just forget this guy, if you continue to see him you are selling yourself short and settling for crumbs when you could have the whole cake, including frosting, with another guy who values you and really is crazy about you. A man that allows his brother to decide on his own life....do you really want a guy like that? He doesn't really seem to call you that much, either, or be putting an effort to see you. The way I see it, he's using his "culture" as an excuse not to have a real relationship with you, yet keep you on the line (i.e. sleeping with him.) I personally would bolt and never look back.
Author kymberann Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 THat's what is perplexing! He has called, prior to all of this. He's been attentive, but oh well, time to bolt! Thanks
CaringSoul Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Sorry, I agree .... it is time to bolt. Good Luck.
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