Author D-Lish Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 basically D-LISH...you're setting yourself up for him to use you for sex. geez AM, As I said, I'm not rushing into that. Not my style. I'd never sleep with him unless I thought it through and talked about it first. And I already told him I wasn't going to sleep with him and he hasn't come close to pushing. There is some distance between us- being an hour apart. And I'm 37, so I'm a big enough girl to have a sleep over...lol. Can't you tell by my trepidation here that I think things through before jumping head first into something? I do, I really do. I'm not going to spend next weekend with him because I plan on having sex- I'm planning on spending a day or two with him to figure out if I like him... which is what dating is about right? If he did push the issue of sex or started getting over the top with his player moves... I'd tell him to slow down. You have no faith in me. Then again- it's okay, because you don't know me, so I will take your insight under advisement.
bridget_jones Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Hi there, D-Lish, Is it possible that he had already submitted the photo to the dating website before you and he had started spending time together? Sometimes it takes a few days, even a week or so, for them to approve the photo and post it.....don't know, just kicking around another possibility. As far as the speed of the relationship goes, I don't think it is moving too fast. Sometimes you meet someone and that's how it goes, you just feel it and you go with it. Other times the relationship moves at a very slow pace, other times it is somewhere in-between. I wouldn't worry too much, give it another couple weeks, then say "Hey, I was browsing the website and noticed you put your picture on your profile now." I don't think he'll read a lot into that comment.
Author D-Lish Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 Yea, she shouldn't think it to death, she should just have sex with him...and keep things less confusing. Well he is incredibly hot. But I am going to wait.
2ndIINone Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 It's only confusing if you think it to death. Good point. Well said.
luvtoto Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Well he is incredibly hot. But I am going to wait. Sometimes ya just wanna talk it out, right?? We are hear for ya!! ..and on that note, I am heading to bed. Catch ya later! (( haha!))
alphamale Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 And I'm 37, oh yea the biological clock....tick tock tick tock i've dated many women in their mid to late 30s. they're all looking for marriage and kids and the faster the better
Author D-Lish Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 Hi there, D-Lish, Is it possible that he had already submitted the photo to the dating website before you and he had started spending time together? Sometimes it takes a few days, even a week or so, for them to approve the photo and post it.....don't know, just kicking around another possibility. As far as the speed of the relationship goes, I don't think it is moving too fast. Sometimes you meet someone and that's how it goes, you just feel it and you go with it. Other times the relationship moves at a very slow pace, other times it is somewhere in-between. I wouldn't worry too much, give it another couple weeks, then say "Hey, I was browsing the website and noticed you put your picture on your profile now." I don't think he'll read a lot into that comment. Nah, it's Plentyoffish- so the pics are instantaneous...and he already had them there as an attachment should he choose to post it. And he did send me the same pic 5 weeks ago when he first reached out to me. lol. It's too soon to tell. I know that. Which is why I am playing it safe. Maybe he is a little freaked out by having a little connection with someone so he went and posted his photo to get grounded. i dunno. He's not my typical "type". He is super attractive, a former pro athelete. But my brother did play on his hockey team for a season (years ago) and said he was a good, solid guy. It's just coincidence that him and my bro happened to know each other back in the day in the OHL. But yeah, pro athelete does make me leery... even though he's not doing that anymore.
Author D-Lish Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 oh yea the biological clock....tick tock tick tock i've dated many women in their mid to late 30s. they're all looking for marriage and kids and the faster the better haha, been there done that. Married and divorced. I don't wish to do it again, nor do I want kiddies. And guess what? I have my own job and own my own place... I choose my own outfits every morning...AND, I have a drivers liscense AND my very own vehicle. Strange eh?
alphamale Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I have my own job and own my own place... I choose my own outfits every morning...AND, I have a drivers liscense AND my very own vehicle. Strange eh? wanna come down to Windsor sometime? We can go for a date....I know this sushi place
Author D-Lish Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 wanna come down to Windsor sometime? We can go for a date....I know this sushi place I'm afraid you'll just want to use me for sex...
2ndIINone Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I have my own job and own my own place... I choose my own outfits every morning...AND, I have a drivers liscense AND my very own vehicle. Strange eh? I find it more strange that some women would rather sit around a wait for their baby's daddy to finish his 10 year imprisonment served from spousal abuse, prior to having no car, no job and no license, RATHER then seeking out a guy who has his S**T together. Suppose I watch too much Springer! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
bridget_jones Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 wanna come down to Windsor sometime? We can go for a date....I know this sushi place dude, AM, if you are the gentleman you claim, you will drive to HER place.
alphamale Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 dude, AM, if you are the gentleman you claim, you will drive to HER place. screw dat! i'm not allowed to cross the border
Author D-Lish Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 screw dat! i'm not allowed to cross the border Too bad, I was hoping to find a new daddy for my three kids from three different men. Oh well, I suppose I can drive my trailer down to see you. you'll love my youngest, Sparky... he'll look at you with those big brown eyes (well only one brown eye, the other one's "lazy", but it catches up) and he'll say "are you going to be our new dad?"
2ndIINone Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 new daddy for my three kids from three different men.NICE! well only one brown eye, the other one's "lazy", but it catches up) ROFL.....
alphamale Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 and he'll say "are you going to be our new dad?" and my answer to him will be "it depends on how good your ma is in the sack"
Kamille Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I'm afraid you'll just want to use me for sex... bwa! hahahahaha good one! I mean: . New guy hey? you have always been my dating hero. So I guess to sum up this thread the story goes: you met a very attractive guy, everything is going great EXCEPT for the picture thing, half of LS thinks you should mention it, the other half thinks it's way too soon and we all agree that there is no rush anyways and you should take your time. And if that doesn't work out there's always Alpha. It's so nice to hear from you D!
luvtoto Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 And if that doesn't work out there's always Alpha. Alpha's my backup plan, also. (jk)
Author D-Lish Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 bwa! hahahahaha good one! I mean: . New guy hey? you have always been my dating hero. So I guess to sum up this thread the story goes: you met a very attractive guy, everything is going great EXCEPT for the picture thing, half of LS thinks you should mention it, the other half thinks it's way too soon and we all agree that there is no rush anyways and you should take your time. And if that doesn't work out there's always Alpha. It's so nice to hear from you D! Hiya K! How have you been doing? Anything interesting on the go? You always sum things up so well. I can tell you've mastered the art of essay writing! New guy- not my type, worried he's a player and that my judgement is so screwed up because of past negative experiences. I guess I just know that I could walk away right now without much pain... but if I stick it out and he turns out to be a rat, I'll get hurt again. A universal conundrum in this crazy world of dating! I think I am feeling poised to bolt. Don't know if it's because the reservations I am having are real red flags... or if it's my learned way of protecting myself. What have you been up to? Dating? D
amaysngrace Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Yea, she shouldn't think it to death, she should just have sex with him...and keep things less confusing. Well to me thinking and having sex aren't the opposites I was referring to. I was thinking of keeping it in or letting it out. If you're thinking but not speaking about it it can confuse you. If you have something that needs to be said to clear your head of the thought that confuses you, you should communicate. To keep it in and let it brew over and over again with no resolution is just plain stupid IMO.
luvtoto Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Well to me thinking and having sex aren't the opposites I was referring to. I was thinking of keeping it in or letting it out. If you're thinking but not speaking about it it can confuse you. If you have something that needs to be said to clear your head of the thought that confuses you, you should communicate. To keep it in and let it brew over and over again with no resolution is just plain stupid IMO. In my own thread yesterday, it was brought to my attention that I was possibly over-analyzing or 'thinking things to death'. But, I felt the strong need to vent. Sorry for misunderstanding you, amaysngrace. I understand what you were saying now.
amaysngrace Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 In my own thread yesterday, it was brought to my attention that I was possibly over-analyzing or 'thinking things to death'. But, I felt the strong need to vent. Yeah that's exactly what I was trying to say.
Ariadne Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Hi, Yeah, that's pretty bad that he posted the picture after he went out with you three times. To me it means that he is advertising himself more. I wouldn't hold my breath with this guy, especially after you've been some sort of intimate with him. Don't take him too seriously. Ariadne
alphamale Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Yeah, that's pretty bad that he posted the picture after he went out with you three times. well personally ADRIADNE...If I went out with some chick who I met online three times over a week period I dont' think she has any right to ask about why I modified my profile.
Pyro Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I met a man online and we've had three dates. Certainly, 3 dates doesn't mean we are committed or limited to dating only each other at this stage. It's been casual so far, but it's obvious we like one another. I quite like this guy- and we get along fabulously so far... just hit it off right away...or so I thought. 3 Dates- the first meeting was casual, then he came to my place for dinner... and last night I went to his place for dinner and ended up staying over.... no sex, but fooling around some. The problem is that when he reached out to me online, he didn't have his picture on his profile... he just sent it to me privately- back stage. I thought that it would be proper of me to take down my pictures for the moment because him and I have been talking about being together. Now I don't know if I made a mistake. I went online to take my pics down and noticed he now has a public pic posted. I'm a little confused about what to make of this. He never had a pic posted publically before... and now that we've had three dates- I go in and see his pic is up now??? Of course this phase of dating is so new, and we don't owe each other a thing at this point in time. But I'm wondering if I'm being "played"... Any thoughts? Am I reading too much into this? I'm not going to say anything to him at the moment. But why bring up wanting to date me and then go and post a public pic? He said he had taken his pic down in the past because he got harrassed by too many women! I must admit that I do feel a little confused about this. Should I just pull back a little? That is where my mind is at right now. he's called me twice today and MSN'ed me all day....telling me he can't wait to get together again. I only discovered the pics about an hour ago... but I truly want to pull back a bit for the moment...protect myself a little bit. Thoughts? Thanks. I would call that a red flag. I won't even comment on the fact that the three dates were all in the same week because that is not what this thread is about. You said that he initiated all three dates. To me that shows that he is very interested in you since all three were in the same week. Unfortunately I believe that the only interest that he has in you is just for sex, otherwise he would have no reason on earth to put a picture up on his profile. All that he is doing with that is keeping his options open. You should ask him why he did that, but I really do believe that he won't give you the honest answer.
Recommended Posts