stace79 Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Okay, long story short...on again/off again very passionate relationship ends with ex telling me he has to reconcile feelings for his ex of four years. He wanted to keep in touch because he calls me his "best friend." (Okay, yes he is probably just keeping me on the back burner) which is why I told him no, and I'm past 48 hours of NC. I told him not to contact me unless something changed, and even then I may not answer his calls. I'm absolutely dying now wanting to know if he has talked to her, what she's said, if he misses me, etc.etc. Can anyone give me experiences of both? Those who have stayed in touch to find out what happened? And those who have gone just NC and never found out? I really can't stand it. I just want him to call me. I don't necessarily want to answer, but I want to know he's thought of me and I want to know what is happening with the two of them. Why do I even care???
2ndIINone Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 You again? :p:p Yes, of course he's thinkin' of you.... probably 50 times a day. 48 hours so far??? That's nothing! but feels like forever huh? You did the right thing by posting here rather then calling him and keeping tabs. Cause then he'll know you weren't serious and he's still got you on a leash. That should be your main focus.... trust me... if he's got the both of you on a leash.... then he's the man! He will want the one that doesn't want him. I promise.. cause we all know.... that's how things turn out. Everytime you start sweatin' him.... you should tell yourself.... He should be sweatin', not me. Be good! Stay strong. Hope this helps.
Author stace79 Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 Thank you. You're turning into my virtual best friend. Seriously, it is so hard in this situation. I was living with my parents until recently, and they and I argued so much about this guy that now my mom says I am just not allowed to talk or cry to her about him anymore. My only sister lives in Seattle with a marriage and kids to deal with....my two best friends here, well....I just basically am tired of hearing people tell me over and over "I told you so." It's nice to come ask questions and vent here because so many people are going through the same things. They don't say "I told you so", they are just as supportive as possible. I absolutely will not call him or contact him in any way. The only thing I have done is look at his myspace profile, and only because I KNOW 100% that he is not technologically savvy enough to put a tracker on his page haha. I just wish I had more close friends around here that I could talk to and spend time with. It's like...I was at my parents' house all day to avoid being alone, but at the same time I didn't feel like talking much because they don't want to hear about this problem. I wish I could believe you that he is thinking of me...but for some reason, I just don't think he is. Thanks for the support though. You again? :p:p Yes, of course he's thinkin' of you.... probably 50 times a day. 48 hours so far??? That's nothing! but feels like forever huh? You did the right thing by posting here rather then calling him and keeping tabs. Cause then he'll know you weren't serious and he's still got you on a leash. That should be your main focus.... trust me... if he's got the both of you on a leash.... then he's the man! He will want the one that doesn't want him. I promise.. cause we all know.... that's how things turn out. Everytime you start sweatin' him.... you should tell yourself.... He should be sweatin', not me. Be good! Stay strong. Hope this helps.
2ndIINone Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Yup, there's nothing worse then whining to people over and over about the same guy/girl that literallly makes you miserable. Get's old after awhile, no? Makes you wish sometimes that you were bragging about how great they are rather then complaining. Been there.... so I understand. And for what it's worth... yes, again, he's thinkin' of you. But... 'she' is still in the picture. Oh, and I won't tell you "I told you so..." UNLESS, you post a thread on here tomorrow that reads..."He called me, I broke contact, I feel horrible" Just do yourself one favor... during this period... DON'T sit around a wait. It'll make your days seem forever. Seriously, surprise yourself and do something different for YOU... join a gym (best advice, you'll see why 2 months from now) If you already go, change up the routine, go spend some money on some cute outfits.... You'd be surprise how much more confident you'll feel after the blood starts flowing. Hang with friends, do the movie thing...get out of the house! Get a puppy! In other words, keep your mind occupied and for God's sake... when a sad pathetic love song comes on the radio... change the station.
LittleWoman12 Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 He's not thinking of you! Let him be and move on with your life! Men are pigs!
Author stace79 Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 You know, I spent a good majority of my younger years saying that all men are pigs. I still say it, but now I'm usually joking. I think it's just next to impossible to find the "right" or "best" guy for you. And it really really gets discouraging when you think you've found the one and it doesn't work for whatever reason. It takes too much energy to hate all men though. He's not thinking of you! Let him be and move on with your life! Men are pigs!
EC Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I Agree join a gym!!! Best thing I have ever done for myself! I was depressed and not only does it keep your mind off of things but #1 you let all of your stress go by working out ( IMO ) #2 You have energy all day long and your feeling great #3 All your clothes fit better and you feel great at the beach lol #4 SooooOoo many new guys to look at while your working out lol And I know you like him and you feel like you can't help but feel the way you feel about him but you can! It sounds like you don't even really want him you just like to know that he wants you! Even if he picks her your going to be sitting around waiting to see if he will call you so you can say yeah he picked her but hes calling me I win lol Just try your hardest to keep yourself busy. 48 hours is nothing. It gets easier after a week.
Author stace79 Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 And for what it's worth... yes, again, he's thinkin' of you. But... 'she' is still in the picture. I hate that girl. I really do. I am somewhat embarassed to admit I have wished some pretty awful things on her and reserved the most foul of obscenities for women of her sort. UGH! If there is one feeling that stands out above the sadness, it is disgust with this girl. One thing I wrote in my blog, that I'm sort of proud of, is that now that he "made his decision," I'm stepping away. I refuse to be like her -- calling, telling him "I love you and miss you" and "I never knew what I had 'til it was gone". She should have had the integrity and the decency to walk away when she told him she didn't want a commitment. Bulls**t!!! I hate her guts!! UGH! Okay, thanks for listening to that. Oh, and I won't tell you "I told you so..." UNLESS, you post a thread on here tomorrow that reads..."He called me, I broke contact, I feel horrible" I swear on my own life that I WILL NOT CONTACT HIM. I'll slit my own wrists before I give him the satisfaction. One thing that is sort of helping me is viewing this as a contest, since he and I were both pretty competitive. I refuse to be the one to break down first. If he doesn't contact me, then we will never see or speak to each other for the rest of our lives. And, I've already decided that it's not just going to be one phone call or one e-mail that does it either. If he really wants me back in his life at some point, he will really have to work for it. I'm talking calling me every day and leaving messages, e-mailing, text messaging and finally just showing up to see me. He's not getting back into my life so easily after all this crap he's put me through, if he ever does!
Author stace79 Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 Thanks...I have been going to a gym for a long time, and it does feel good because every time he saw me he was saying how hot I was. (I really have lost a ton of weight and changed my body shape. It's awesome.) I will be honest...it would be really hard not to get back together with him right now. I do love the guy. I also know that it isn't right what he's doing, and as sick as it is, I have been thinking in my head all along that he does need to go back to her to resolve things for good. I am 99% sure that the same problems they had before will come back to play, and he will be unhappy and feel like an idiot for giving me up. They were BIG issues....he was far more affectionate in public than her, she has like ZERO sex drive...he says I am the best he ever had in bed (take that you stupid c*** sorry haha). She doesn't like watching sports like I do, and he's a sports radio host so he does that all the time! Plus she lives two hours away with her family. She was his first love in college....sometimes those college things just aren't meant to work out, ya know. Mine didn't. I took it for what it was -- a great experience -- and let it go when it was over. I told him the last time we talked about this, that even if he "figures it out", that by the time he comes back to me I may be over it and not interested in giving him another chance. I guess it just depends on if/when that happens. Oh, and yes of course! He is supposed to be absolutely MISERABLE sitting around without me! And yes, he should be calling me over and over even if I refuse to answer the phone! I Agree join a gym!!! Best thing I have ever done for myself! I was depressed and not only does it keep your mind off of things but #1 you let all of your stress go by working out ( IMO ) #2 You have energy all day long and your feeling great #3 All your clothes fit better and you feel great at the beach lol #4 SooooOoo many new guys to look at while your working out lol And I know you like him and you feel like you can't help but feel the way you feel about him but you can! It sounds like you don't even really want him you just like to know that he wants you! Even if he picks her your going to be sitting around waiting to see if he will call you so you can say yeah he picked her but hes calling me I win lol Just try your hardest to keep yourself busy. 48 hours is nothing. It gets easier after a week.
Guest Y Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I just found out my ex is dating 4 months after our breakup. That's all I know. Thank God I had read here and other boards that say not to ask. I'd be triggering all over of the place if I heard her name or what she looks like, the car she drives etc. Since he reconciled with a former ex you probably already know that information. I wouldn't ask if I was you. Don't give yourself anymore heartache.
2ndIINone Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Honestly, I wouldn't recommend jumping right back even if he did come back. You should know now that it would be too soon. Not to mention, you'd still have 'her' in the back of your mind.... then all kinds of trust issues. Worry about you. Because right now at this point in time... YOU are what's important. Not him, not her.
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