soulseeker Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Has anyone read this? I got a copy a while back and have just recently gotten into it. The reason I wanted this book was that it wasnt the typical blame placing book. Instead, the author suggests that we simply be accountable for our actions and why we are the way we are. He cites our childhood experiences and the coping mechanisms we create back then as the reasons many of us have trouble in relationships later on. I have felt this way inuitively for years, and Im sure many of us have. But it is interesting to see it spelled out in a this may cause that format. The book, so far, seems to say that a fear of being intimate with another person is really a fear of being intimate with ourselves. I know, well duh! But it seems that few of us actually replace childish coping skills with adult coping skills. I dont know that I agree with all of the book, but a lot of it seems helpful. It reminds me of Peter Gabriel's "Digging in the Dirt." Why does it seem that the easiest problems to idendity are the most difficult to fix? Sorry if I've posted this in the wrong section
amaysngrace Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Why does it seem that the easiest problems to idendity are the most difficult to fix? Because since they are easy to identify, we've been identifying with them often throughout our lives. In that way they have become a part of our psyche greater than the problems that we have placed further back in our minds.
Author soulseeker Posted March 25, 2007 Author Posted March 25, 2007 Because since they are easy to identify, we've been identifying with them often throughout our lives. In that way they have become a part of our psyche greater than the problems that we have placed further back in our minds. For me though, it's like I didnt consciously identify/name my issues until about two years ago. I knew that I had issues, I just didnt know exactly what they were or why I had them. So I guess I misspoke when I said they were easy to identify. In hindsight, they should have been easy to identify, I guess would be a better way of stating it. So in a very bad way, I have pushed my issues far back away from conscious thought. But I agree, because my poor coping skills have become so integrated into my psyche, it follows that releasing them will be a huge exorcism. Just thinking out loud I guess. Thanks for your input
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