goodguy123 Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 It's been about 7 months since me and my girl broke up. But I am still so completely depressed. I know part of it is that I still see her around due to mutual friends, and she still even calls me once in a while. Another thing is that I haven't even gotten a date yet even though I've been doing my best to go out be active, even though I have a very busy schedule. But is it normal to still be this sad. We were together for a year and a half. But I still can't stop thinking about her, and I still find myself crying every day (I feel like a complete wuss). But is this normal? Or is it time for me to get some therapy?
Kamille Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 I think it is normal to be sad but that you should still consider going to therapy. It can't hurt, right? Getting over someone (and I'm guessing she might be your first love) can be very difficult. We all have our healing rythm. You will get there.
LaughMachine Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 I'm sure therapy can help. But you'll be hearing the same stuff and be given the same advice you ge here. You'll still be going home with a broken heart. It is more than normal to still be dwelling and hurting after 7 months. Man 7 months isn't even too long. I remember my breakup after 7 months and I still coulden't listen to some songs. It takes a long time to get over someone, especially over first loves. Everyone has to go through it in life but in a cuple more months you'll be better. You might not be over it, but you'll be better. After alot of time goes by you'll start having new worries, new problems and you'll change alot from this experience. I'm sorry your going through it but be thankful It's already been 7 months! Be proud of yourself
LakesideDream Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 The word you used to describe your situation was "Sad". It's not unusual to be sad. I've been divorced 6 years now, from a 25 year marriage. We divorced when I was 51 years old (her 44). Right up until the "I'm not in love with you" speach, right through finding out she had cheated for years, I was overcome with sadness. For literally decades I believed we would grow old together. I had no other plans. Still today, occasionally I pause and say to myself, sometimes aloud... "I'm so sad". Am I over her.. yes. Do I want her, no. Would I take her back, even after a catastrophy.. no. Do I regret spending half my life believing in an untruth? Yes. Do I wish things had been different, Yes. Does it make me sad that my future dreams, and especially my cherished memories were ruined... Yes.
Author goodguy123 Posted March 25, 2007 Author Posted March 25, 2007 She wasn't my first love, but I do think I loved her more than any of my past girlfriends. And I've even had longer relationships that didn't mess me up as bad as this. And it hurts so bad when I see her (which I did the other day when I saw her hanging out with a mutual friend). It just reminds me how beautiful she is and how much I miss her. It sucks so bad. I was talking to her for a minute and then she said goodbye and I started walking away and the tears started falling. I also hear about her all the time from other friends so I can never seem to get her out of my head. I'm just at the point where I can't even remember what it was like to be happy.
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Perhaps it's time to stop frequenting places that she might be. Maybe avoiding mutual friends or setting it up so that she's not part of the equation. I know this sounds selfish but you also need to learn to let go and the constant contact is undermining your ability to do so.
oppath Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I agree, you may need to cut associations with her to exorcise the last bit from your life. This includes mutual friends. I'm approaching 3 months out of an only 6 month relationship and I'm still a mess; trying to maintain my normal social life, I'd see her friends, and there was hostility. Me trying to smooth things out backfired, and I realized it was too painful for me to be around them at all. As a result, I am giving up the softball league I've played in for years, the bar I'd go to every Sunday afternoon, etc. It sucks. I will maintain friendship with two of her friends, but they will occur on my turf. I will invite them out when I make new friends, and we'll go new places not associated with her. What you are going through is normal. It doesn't sound like you are depressed but you might have mild depression. Therapy is a great place to examine this because you can learn life skills.
Author goodguy123 Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 Just out of curiosity, what kind of therapist should I be looking for? A psychologist? Or just a licensed therapist? I was looking at my health insurance site and there are a bunch of different kinds.
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