Gunny376 Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 First off, I didn't give your thread the proper consideration ~ I was pretty dazed and beat last night, and shouldn't have even posted. The pollen count is abnormally high this year ~ and I don't even have allergies?! Took some meds etc. Woke up, found that your thread changed from your intial post to some BS? WTF? Anyway? First thing you need to do is to get the wife to a Dr. for a full medical checkup. You might have to shop around for a Dr. that's got his act together and knows his stuff. So that might mean one, two or three. At 27 she should be entering her sexual peak. And, with the two of you still being virtually newlyweeds ~ the two of you should be :bunny: If she comes back with a clean bill of health ~ medically, then the problem might be in her brain housing group? Was she abused as a child? Was she raised in a ultra-conservative religious household? Is her "Anti-Slut" defense (most all women have them) so strong that she can't over-come it in marriage? In short is there a mental block. To be honest with you? Its probally a little you and probally a little her. To be blunt? At 27, she's probally never had a man that knows what the Hell he's doing, and you probally don't know what you're doing that you need to be doing. I can't get too graphic here in this forumn without moving to the Sexual fourm. But, case in point. My last LTR had been married for 10 years. She was nine years younger than I. The first time she and I hooked up, she started doing all this business with her thighs. I stopped her right away and told her, "I know what to do here, I don't need any of that!" We broke up, primarly because I retired out of the Corps, she was from NC and I'm from AL. But, the last time I spoke to her she told me, "Sex was never one our problems!" At 33 when I got divorced, I was looking for answers and solutions ~ this was back before the Internet. One of the best books I can recommend is "How To Satisfy A Woman Everytime ~ and Have Her Beg For More" by Naura Hayden. ISBN, (the number by which you order books by) 0-942104-01-3 (If your a guy ~ read this book) Quick easy read. She's a little flakey because she gets to talking about vitamins and pot, etc. But, it literally explains sex from a woman's perspective. Another good read is "Women's Infedility" that I was orginally clued into by RoosterDAR here at LS. Here's the link: http://www.womensinfidelity.com/index.html#home A couple of other good resources that I can't link you to because they're "paid sites or solicitating money" but that you can Goggle ~ Carlos Xuma ~ "Secrets of the Alpha Male" and "Dating Black Book" and David DeAngelo's "Double Your Dating" also, Dr. Hellen Kreidman's "Light Her Fire"program. Other books I would recommend would be "Rommance 101" "1001 Ways To Be Romantic" and 1001 More Ways To Be Rommantic" When all is said and done ~ it may be as Lady Jane said ~ you're just sexually incompatable? But I suspect that its more like jmargel put it, once you put your foot down, and let her know that this is a deal breaker ~ that she'll come around. At first, I thought you were with a woman that was in love with the thought of getting married and having "her day" but, now I think its more of a case of the two of you just not knowing how to be married. Trying to make the square peg fit the round hole ~ so to speak. Marriage and fidelity to one person ~ contrary to popular belief ~ isn't natural to the human species. Its a learned skill. Its a conscious deliberate decision.
Gunny376 Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 Orginally posted by jmargel When I said it to her, she was like a deer in headlights. She didn't expect this coming, for once didn't really have any sort of comeback. She just stood there and said 'she wasn't leaving'. I then told her, she was. That I had enough and it was time to go. Only then did I realize how much power I really had in this relationship and by me not using it I was slowly losing it. That by the way my man, is ALL DAY STRONG!
Gunny376 Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 Just because a guy has been in the Marines does not mean he is some modern day Neanderthal. Way back when i wasa young drafted sorry ass grunt many Ode the noncomms were from from the marine s they would enlist in the Arny because they could gain rank faster in the Army then they could in the Marines. Most would after a few years then take that rank and reenlist in the Marines. Some were just pains in the azz other were very thoughtful and well read men that I had a lot of respect for. My unit was about 80% draftees. An Officer or a noncoms had to earn our respect. Those that did we would as they say follow into hell. Gunny seems like the kind of guy who would earned the respect of those he served with. Married2icequeen, I bet you love to play war games on your comuter and watched ever Rambo movie ever made. Yeap a real hero in your own mind. When they pinned Corporal Stripes on me, I was a hard~azz for a couple of months (2). That was before they spray painted my car, cut the seats and top to shreads on my "beauty" of 69 Pontiac Firebird convertable, poured sugar down my gas tank, (re-built engine) cut my tires, etc. Then I got to thinking? Hmmmmmm, there must be more to this leadership business than being a hard-azz and barking out orders? You think? Luckliey, I was stationed at Parris Island at the time ~ if I'd been in a combat zone they might of "fragged" my young dumb azz with gernades!
Gunny376 Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 To be honest with you? Its probally a little you and probally a little her. To be blunt? At 27, she's probally never had a man that knows what the Hell he's doing, and you probally don't know what you're doing that you need to be doing. Don't take offense, I was 33 before I knew the deal ~ and I'm being honest with you here. When I say that, I mean it in the sense of putting the woman before my own personal satisfaction ~ gradification. Get Naura's book ~ you'll understand what I'm talking about once you've read it!
RecordProducer Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 There is no such thing like "sexless marriage" - you get screwed in one way or another.
Gunny376 Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 There is no such thing like "sexless marriage" - you get screwed in one way or another. If you and DH don't work out, I'd like a chance, we could keep each other laughing with our scarastic humor if nothing else!
Gunny376 Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 I'm really hoping you are not a Marine because your sissy talk is a disgrace to the corps. If you are not a real gunny I would suggest you drop the act. If you are a real gunny here is a suggestion: GROW A SACK! You're going to post this, callng me out and then post this? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1139301#post1139301 (Thanks LJ! ) Let me tell you one thng or two there Slick! I don't have to prove a freaking thing to you or anyone else. I've got the ID card and the check hitting the bank the 1st of each month! I can and do walk the walk, and can talk the talk. No bragg! Just fact! When you look at your paycheck come Friday, and you see how much they took out in taxes ~ don't sweat it ~ its coming to me. Freedom ain't free! Because of guys like me that stood the wall, maned the wire. is the reason azzhats like you and your want-to-be-a-girl boyfriend can sleep safely at night! Get some! Get some of that "man-love!" (Side-bar ~ To anyone who's GLBT or kin to same ~ I apolgize, but this guy just PMFO!)
riobikini Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 Yoflaco: (BTW -where/how in the heck did you come up with *that* screen name???) (Smile) I'm with others who think you may be being "used". Whatever reasons she had for getting married were simply wrong. Given the details from your post, this doesn't sound like the normal, expected "sex let-down" that often appears within a few months to a couple of years of a marriage. Personally -the way you conveyed your problem, the words and phrases you used- made me suspect that her motives for getting married may have something to do with plans to -in time- take more from the marriage than she brought to it financially speaking. Even if she doesn't suddenly announce plans to leave the marriage any time soon -she's clearly still benefiting and *taking* from the marriage in a very specific way(besides robbing you of the *real thing*, in terms of a true, meaningful, and loving marriage): she's using the means of a marriage to be comfortable and provide the financial support to live what appears to be the single, fancy-free lifestyle of her true desire. Point: taking her wedding rings off and leaving them at home. I don't this there's a lesbian relationship going on, as one other poster suggested -and here's why: Only a woman on the prowl for men -or a woman who doesn't want to be recognized as married would think to take her rings off. She'll do that to appear "approachable". In an affair with another woman, rings would be allowed for "cover" to make the affair easier to hide, or dispute. I think she may have not been ready for marriage, at all, and may have felt she hadn't sewn all her wilder oats -but seeing her opportunities for "stability" growing slimmer by the year in respect to getting older- and having *you* so available and *wanting* marriage- I think she decided to have both of her wishes, despite the risks. I think she may have weighed it all out from both perspectives: you, being such a patient, caring guy with lots of "stick-to-it-iveness" would stand by her, no matter what -and even if the unthinkable happened and you became fed up with her using you and wanted a divorce, she could leave the marriage with more than she put into it. I'm with those who are saying, "Get out! Get the annulment while you can!" Life is too precious to waste another day with someone who doesn't love you. -Rio
Mz. Pixie Posted March 30, 2007 Posted March 30, 2007 Its probally a little you and probally a little her. To be blunt? At 27, she's probally never had a man that knows what the Hell he's doing, and you probally don't know what you're doing that you need to be doing. This may be true. I know it was sure the case with me!!! When I got divorced and met the man that is now my H- I was like "Whoa, can sex really be THIS good?"
portableversion Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 I've heard of some religions stand against divorce but this life is not supposed to be hell that where you go if you flunk it here. Sounds like some hope out there if she's willing to go to couseling,
portableversion Posted April 1, 2007 Posted April 1, 2007 Also the ring thing is bad, real bad.. You should consider if the counseling fails are you ready to live the next 50-60 yrs staying at home masturbating while she's out getting it else where from other men. If you are so opposed to divorce maybe an affair would do you some good a cuckhold is no way to live. I mean provided therapy fails and she continues to go out with out the ring.
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