Sweetie2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Well, some of you probably read the other thread that I posted, just FYI: nothing happened with that...although it goes against what I've believed forever, I just dropped it, and never brought it up with my SO, things aren't really in the "forever" stage right now anyway, in fact it's kinda rocky, so anyway... that's that... but now... I've been with my BF for 3 months, and on Wed, the 28th, my flight is scheduled to take me back to the U.S. (he lives in Germany, so that's where I am at the moment). I'm not really new to the whole LDR thing, my BF and I are working on 2.5 years now... we were together 8 months into the relationship (we met online), for one month. Him leaving the states was hard, but I adjusted, after a few months (ya...like 4), and then I came here. I've become almost over attached, I think, in the months we've been together. It just grew on me, ya know, waking up to him there, going to bed to him there, just life in general, with him there...and now, I'm afraid of how it'll be once I'm back in the states. I've read other threads, and I know all the tricks about staying busy, going out with friends, but keeping contact at the same time... It just feels different, because it's me, not someone else (I know, that sounds kinda selfish, sorry). So basically...I guess I'm asking if anyone has anything special that I could do, instead of, or on top of, the usual stuff, to help me re-adjust to life "alone"? Also, anything I could eat which would be gentle on my extremely upset stomach? Before and after we're together I always have trouble eating, I'm just not hungry, too nervous, or too upset...any suggestions? comments? anything would be appreciated... sorry if this is kinda random and confuseing...
kaien Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Sorry to hear about your situation. It's been about 2months with my LDR, and things are in a standstill ATM. My first month was agonizing not being able to see her, but you know, you will get used to it. I think this is when the true test starts. How comfortable can you become by yourself? If you get too comfortable, your feelings toward the other will start to go down in the priority list. My SO is probably feeling the same right now, giving me all these mixed messages. When we parted, I took up jogging and weight lifting so I could get some extra points for her. After seeing notable results, I started to get the "need" for a workout, and the focus shifted from "her" to "me". So I guess my advice is to take up something totally new. Remember to keep the focus on "you". Also, in a LDR I was told that the guy typically has to keep in touch. If the women gets too needy and spams messages, the guy might back off. Not much of an advice, but I hope all goes well for all of us.^^
Author Sweetie2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Author Posted March 25, 2007 Sorry to hear about your situation. It's been about 2months with my LDR, and things are in a standstill ATM. My first month was agonizing not being able to see her, but you know, you will get used to it. I think this is when the true test starts. How comfortable can you become by yourself? If you get too comfortable, your feelings toward the other will start to go down in the priority list. My SO is probably feeling the same right now, giving me all these mixed messages. When we parted, I took up jogging and weight lifting so I could get some extra points for her. After seeing notable results, I started to get the "need" for a workout, and the focus shifted from "her" to "me". So I guess my advice is to take up something totally new. Remember to keep the focus on "you". Also, in a LDR I was told that the guy typically has to keep in touch. If the women gets too needy and spams messages, the guy might back off. Not much of an advice, but I hope all goes well for all of us.^^ Thanks for the advice Kaien! Maybe I'll join the gym...
catrocks Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Awwww I'm sorry hun, it's always difficult to leave, especially after 3 months though! Ironically, the day after you go back to the States I am going over there to spend 2 weeks with my fiancé. It's not a nice flight is it! I always hate coming back to Europe though I have found that watching old reruns of mindless sitcoms like Friends helps, just laying there and not thinking of anything. Watching movies too. I generally don't get up off the couch for like 4 days after I'm back. Do you have any friends who are in LDRs? I always found that hanging out with my best friend helped because she was in one too and knew what to say to take my mind off things. If not, then spending time with good friends in general also helps me, especially if I haven't seen them for a while, it's nice to catch up. As far as eating goes, I can't really help, I usually am able to eat normally (ish), but I find that pasta and cheese is always a cheering up dish! I hope your flight goes well, do you know when you'll see your bf next? PM me if you need to chat, I will give you my msn if you want. Just remember: anything totally mindless is great xx
Author Sweetie2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Author Posted March 25, 2007 Do you have any friends who are in LDRs? do you know when you'll see your bf next? Not currently, but my best friend has been in one, and is awsome at cheering me up! I've made plans, from here, for the first few weeks after I'm back, because I know if I schedule myself from here, that I'll keep my promises, once I'm back, I won't want to do anything. The latest I'll see him is when I come to England to go to uni in the fall of '08 ... with any luck before then! I'm still secretly hoping I can convince him to come to the states over the month I have off for x-mas and new years... we'll see... Thanks for your help catrocks!!!
alphamale Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 sich warum nicht verheiraten und Bewegung nach Deutschland?
Author Sweetie2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Author Posted March 25, 2007 sich warum nicht verheiraten und Bewegung nach Deutschland? Why not learn German before you type it to me?? I can't marry him because neither of us have any money, plus we're both still in school, and before I marry him we both have to move out of our parent(s) houses, and in with each other, then have some money.... that'll come with time... but I appreciate how caring you are alpha!!
Andrea1234 Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 i heard it hard when you have to leave your bf/gf behind to go back home
Author Sweetie2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Author Posted March 25, 2007 i heard it hard when you have to leave your bf/gf behind to go back home one of the worst experiences of my life...but eventually one adjusts to being alone again...for me, just in time to see him again, then the same cycle all over again..but for some it is easier than others, i guess it depends on how often you see each other, and for how long the visits are... but either way, I wouldn't change the fact that i'm in a LDR for anything!!
thoughtsofhim Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 ugh... i hate the "going home" feeling. I think every time you visit it gets a little harder... at least for me. I usually focus on something i like to do or read a good book. Last time i came home i joined the gym... it helps take up those spare hours of the day when you would otherwise be sitting at home alone. I also like getting in shape for the next time i go to see my SO and it makes me feel better about myself. I'm soon to be in your shoes. I visit April 6th... 12days! but if you find anything good to do... please share! I go through a pretty bad "slump" when i leave too.
Author Sweetie2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Author Posted March 26, 2007 ugh... i hate the "going home" feeling. I think every time you visit it gets a little harder... at least for me. I usually focus on something i like to do or read a good book. Last time i came home i joined the gym... it helps take up those spare hours of the day when you would otherwise be sitting at home alone. I also like getting in shape for the next time i go to see my SO and it makes me feel better about myself. I'm soon to be in your shoes. I visit April 6th... 12days! but if you find anything good to do... please share! I go through a pretty bad "slump" when i leave too. And the worst part is, the "slump" starts before you go home...so the last few days are like hell ...... ya... i know exaclty what you mean! I think that making appointments for the first few weeks I'm back will help... I've done it from here, and purposly promised really good friends that I would visit them, on specific dates, these friends won't let me back out, and that's why I choose them, and I did it from here, because I knew I wouldn't from home... I'll let you know if I find anything good to do... PM me if you wanna chat...we can be "slumpy" together, lol...
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