Hot girls and relationships

[taylor]

Do hot girls have a harder time finding men interested in having a real relationship?

 

Guys, if you meet a girl who is say, an 8, 9 or 10, do you consider her relationship material or casual sex only material? Do you automatically think they are shallow, high maintenance, b*tchy, easy? Do you approach them, view them, or relate to them differently than a girl who is a 6 or 7?

 

I'd also like to hear from some of the girls out there who think their (good) looks may be making dating a challenge or problematic. Don't be shy. If you've been told by guys over and over how attractive or hot you are, but you just seem to have trouble finding a meaningful relationship, I'd like to hear your story. Please share.

[alphamale]

Do hot girls have a harder time finding men interested in having a real relationship?

no. they have an easier time cause they have lots of men who are interested and they can choose the pick of the litter.

 

Guys, if you meet a girl who is say, an 8, 9 or 10, do you consider her relationship material or casual sex only material?

it depends on the girl

 

Do you automatically think they are shallow, high maintenance, b*tchy, easy?

usually...but a few of them are also smart and those are the ones I like

 

Do you approach them, view them, or relate to them differently than a girl who is a 6 or 7?.

yes

[Mary3]

Do hot girls have a harder time finding men interested in having a real relationship?

 

Guys, if you meet a girl who is say, an 8, 9 or 10, do you consider her relationship material or casual sex only material? Do you automatically think they are shallow, high maintenance, b*tchy, easy? Do you approach them, view them, or relate to them differently than a girl who is a 6 or 7?

 

I'd also like to hear from some of the girls out there who think their (good) looks may be making dating a challenge or problematic. Don't be shy. If you've been told by guys over and over how attractive or hot you are, but you just seem to have trouble finding a meaningful relationship, I'd like to hear your story. Please share.

 

I've been told alot that I am a hottie but with that comes alot of guys who just wanna bang and run.

 

Tired of the attemped *hit and runs* I stopped going out so much so I got a kitty and stopped dating for awhile ( lol ) ...I get the * calls * still to * hang out * but apparently I have changed quite a bit ...

I now have a hard time believing guys now who really * care * and are not trying to just get into my pants. I love sex no doubt but for now its sex with myself . Someone special has to earn a place in my life

[alphamale]

I now have a hard time believing guys now who really * care * and are not trying to just get into my pants. I love sex no doubt but for now its sex with myself . Someone special has to earn a place in my life

M3...only time tells which man is genuine and which is not

[Mary3]

M3...only time tells which man is genuine and which is not

 

You are right. In my experience 99.9 % say whatever it takes to get me into bed...

[taylor]

Alphamale - I know you are right..only time will tell is a man is genuine.

But a girl sure can waste a lot of time and energy and can risk getting her heart broken in the process.

 

It's so discouraging and frustrating to be approached by guy after guy who turns out to be a dud because their interest isn't genuine. They come on strong, then disappear when they find out you aren't the kind of girl they thought you were. You spend your time fighting off jerks instead of connecting with someone real. It makes you wonder, "What's wrong with me?"

 

Where is Mr. Genuine? Do hot girls need to put a paper bag over their heads to attract him?

 

MARY3 - I hear you!!!!

 

I have a dog and two fish. I want something MORE.

 

I'm getting to the point where I feel DESPERATE. Friends and relatives say, "You are such a beautiful girl. Don't tell me you don't have a boyfriend. You can have any guy you want."

 

I see so many girls who are pretty but not beautiful who are in loving, meaningful relationships with wonderful guys. And I say, why can't I find that. I just seem to attract the good-looking jerks. I want no part of them. I feel like hanging a sign on myself: "If you aren't genuine, don't bother!"

 

So, on a Friday night I sit at home and watch romantic comedies. I'm tired of the whole dating scene and I don't trust 99.9% of the male species...and I'm only 22.

[TheSwordfish]

I don't agree, man can hae genuine interest. Would I remember the name of her dog the silly things she did as a kid, just for the sake of getting a girl in bed?

 

hmmmz.... then again.....

[alextop30]

I still cannot believe what I am reading- everyone lears something new every day. I dont know what kind of dumb guys you have found if they really made you feel this way but I can assure you there are those intelegent guys that do care about the very little things but they are hard to find. In today's world I still cannot believe how one can sleap with a girl with absolutely no emotional attraction and just run away. This to me shows that he has just used you but let me assure you that there are those guys that may not be the best looking that are very nice and respect women. If you thinking that I am just saying that because I am a guy - it is not true, I am in long distantce relationship with my girl friend and 1 year I still remember what ring I gave her I remember her birthday, I do remember her pets name, I even remember her shoe size. It is not as hopeless as it looks. All I am saying is just give everyone a chace and be very careful in trusting guys because yes they might be just trying to get into your pants. One more suggestion I would give is go slow with the guys dont let them have theirs and sertainly spent some time before getting into sexual relationships. Also constantly test them and see if they do care about you or is it just the sex that they want.

 

I know sometimes ones own feelings can get in the way of the objective look at a relationship but it is required.

[alphamale]

You are right. In my experience 99.9 % say whatever it takes to get me into bed...

M3, your eyes are like limpid pools and you're so smart. I'll be here forever and ever. You're the only one M3...

[Tangerina]

HAHA, the 'number scale' makes me laugh... it makes me think of The Full Monty "you never can tell til you see their tits" and especially my room mate drunkenly philosophizing about our female household "We're a really good looking crop, we're like all 8's!"

 

I dunno, this is kind of a silly question and kind of a good question. I think it kind of depends on what the girl's attitude about her looks are. Lots of good looking people don't realize they are perceived that way by others and maybe the one's who are 'easy' as you put it really think deep down that they are taking what they can get and don't deserve better. On the other hand, people who are good looking and know it can be snobs about it, who wants that?

 

I don't really have a point, I'm just putting a few things out there that pop into my head when I think about your question.

 

I had a guy friend who said he didn't like to date really hot girls because they weren't as nice because they felt like it gave them a disproportionate amount of the power.

 

I think some guys are afraid to date women that they see as really attractive because they are afraid of them sleeping around, because they probably could if they wanted to.

 

I think I might be more attractive than I think I am because I have no problem attracting people but I never thought I was that super studly to be in high demand, but I'm also super smart and friendly and more cute than hot... so whatever, I think a combo of those things are more important anyways. I think a lot of my good personality points have grown out of being the most awkward middle schooler ever and, unable to fit it, I developed interests instead of fashion sense... now I'm attractive and interesting... That's also my boyfriend's story- he didn't date in high school because he was self conscious about acne so he became interesting instead and now I have an interesting sexy boyfriend with very good face washing habits...

 

That whole eye of the beholder thing is pretty true too... everyone has a different concept of what is totally hot. I like scrawny guys, my room mate like beer bellies. Studies have proven that most men aren't as attracted to 'model' bodies as the media would like to have us think they are, so a girl might be media hot and think she is all that and get an attitude about it, when deep down guys are lusting after her more 'natural' friend.

[blind_otter]

I don't know that looks have all that much to do with it. I mean, I know attractive women who can't get a good man. You know why? Because they have unrealistic expectations about relationships and the work it takes to get a good one off the ground. watching too many romantic comedies can do that to a person. THe two friends of mine that come to mind are very attractive but they are clueless about how to pick a good partner. They give off this air of desperation and tend to jump into relationships with whoever lavishes them with attention, rather than testing the waters before giving their heart away.

 

One of them has been out of a relationship for all of one and a half months and immediately started dating a new person (who has the same first name as her ex, as creepy as that is).

 

Another woman I know just has a generally bad attitude and is extremely self absorbed and has a huge ego and the sense of entitlement that goes along with it.

 

IMO, when there is a pattern in your life the only person you should be looking at is yourself. What do you do to contribute to the feedback loop? Why do the same men keep hitting on you? What vibes are you sending out there, where do you tend to meet the men you date, and how do you behave when in the confines of a relationship versus when you are dating?

 

When there's a pattern in your life the only person usually responsible is you.

 

I'm just saying.

[Tangerina]

Taylor, I answered the question without reading the specifics of your story... in your case, I'd say don't give up on dating, but don't have sex with a guy unless you really know he is right for you. If a guy was only interested in sex I'm pretty sure he would get frustrated and run after 5 dates without any. Just remember what you want and don't settle for less, and keep things out of the bedroom until you find it.

[tanbark813]

Guys, if you meet a girl who is say, an 8, 9 or 10, do you consider her relationship material or casual sex only material?

 

That has nothing to do with looks. It's based on character, personality, and intelligence.

 

Do you automatically think they are shallow, high maintenance, b*tchy, easy?

 

Not necessarily automatically, but the further you get away from the center of the bell curve, the more likely it is that she's bitchy. That is, there are a higher percentage of bitchy 9's, 10's, 1's, and 2's than there are bitchy 5's, 6's, and 7's.

[Mary3]

I don't know that looks have all that much to do with it. I mean, I know attractive women who can't get a good man. You know why? Because they have unrealistic expectations about relationships and the work it takes to get a good one off the ground. watching too many romantic comedies can do that to a person. THe two friends of mine that come to mind are very attractive but they are clueless about how to pick a good partner. They give off this air of desperation and tend to jump into relationships with whoever lavishes them with attention, rather than testing the waters before giving their heart away.

 

One of them has been out of a relationship for all of one and a half months and immediately started dating a new person (who has the same first name as her ex, as creepy as that is).

 

Another woman I know just has a generally bad attitude and is extremely self absorbed and has a huge ego and the sense of entitlement that goes along with it.

 

IMO, when there is a pattern in your life the only person you should be looking at is yourself. What do you do to contribute to the feedback loop? Why do the same men keep hitting on you? What vibes are you sending out there, where do you tend to meet the men you date, and how do you behave when in the confines of a relationship versus when you are dating?

 

When there's a pattern in your life the only person usually responsible is you.

 

I'm just saying.

 

Alot has changed about me . I was new to the dating world back then...having mostly been in relationships in my life.

 

I always thought if you met a great guy and he showed interest that it would lead to something more special.

 

But instead his goal was to bag you .

 

I am not speaking about ALL men.

 

It just seems I have taken a step back and started observing .

 

If a man starts talking about sex and desire and (my breast size) and its your first few dates then thats a clue.

If he says he's going to call and does not ( like days later ) thats a clue.

If he talks about how much he hates his mother and everyone gives him a rough time in life and he has few friends thats a great clue into his character.

If everything and everyone is more important than me then that tells me that likely would not change....

If he still carrys a torch for his ex and he talks about her like she is the supreme being that walks the earth then you know he's not over her.

I have had 3 times where this has happened. I want to carry a sign :" Do you still have feelings for your ex " ?

So I like being with my kitty because her love is sincere. I know tomorrow she will still love me. She doesn't have any drama ( except when she crashes into the vertical blinds to get my attention ) lol.

I guess I am taking a break from the dating world. I do have a date next week but I have went out with him before and was not physically attracted but he is a nice person. I know I should not persue that , lol. But want to give him a chance.

[johan]

So I like being with my kitty because her love is sincere.

 

I think cats hang around with people because they are hoping we'll die so they can get a big meal. If they were big enough they'd just make it happen. Instead they have to just wait and wait.

[TheSwordfish]

Alot has changed about me . I was new to the dating world back then...having mostly been in relationships in my life.

 

I always thought if you met a great guy and he showed interest that it would lead to something more special.

 

But instead his goal was to bag you .

 

I am not speaking about ALL men.

 

It just seems I have taken a step back and started observing .

 

If a man starts talking about sex and desire and (my breast size) and its your first few dates then thats a clue.

If he says he's going to call and does not ( like days later ) thats a clue.

If he talks about how much he hates his mother and everyone gives him a rough time in life and he has few friends thats a great clue into his character.

If everything and everyone is more important than me then that tells me that likely would not change....

If he still carrys a torch for his ex and he talks about her like she is the supreme being that walks the earth then you know he's not over her.

I have had 3 times where this has happened. I want to carry a sign :" Do you still have feelings for your ex " ?

So I like being with my kitty because her love is sincere. I know tomorrow she will still love me. She doesn't have any drama ( except when she crashes into the vertical blinds to get my attention ) lol.

I guess I am taking a break from the dating world. I do have a date next week but I have went out with him before and was not physically attracted but he is a nice person. I know I should not persue that , lol. But want to give him a chance.

 

Your kitty wants food, show you her ass whiel makingweird sounds and a pet on the back.... In that it's almost a guy

 

Why do girls stick with guys they aren't physically atracted to?

[DanielMadr]

Do hot girls have a harder time finding men interested in having a real relationship?

 

Guys, if you meet a girl who is say, an 8, 9 or 10, do you consider her relationship material or casual sex only material? Do you automatically think they are shallow, high maintenance, b*tchy, easy? Do you approach them, view them, or relate to them differently than a girl who is a 6 or 7?

 

I'd also like to hear from some of the girls out there who think their (good) looks may be making dating a challenge or problematic. Don't be shy. If you've been told by guys over and over how attractive or hot you are, but you just seem to have trouble finding a meaningful relationship, I'd like to hear your story. Please share.

 

There is lot of prejudice when it comes to looks. Good looking guys are viewed as Players if they posses some kind of confidence for example. Hot girls are approached or at least have all the attention. Most of them develop that unaproachable look, which repels not so bold guys. It saves time I suppose.

Hot girls are high maintenance. They can pick almost any guy they want. So the guy staying with them has to offer more than the rest. Thats make them high maintenance. Right now you are looking for Mr. Ihaveitall too

 

There can be one problem...you can be 8,9,10 for most of the guys but you are maybe 6 for Mr. Ihaveitall.

 

Everyone is looking for stable partner if that partner is more fun than problems.

 

Dress down a little. Be more casual and dont pitty yourself b/c of looks, thats lame....your problems are nothing compared to some of not so good looking girls.

 

And remember. B/c you can be assumed as bitchy and shallow....you have to try harder to prove them wrong.

[alphamale]

There is lot of prejudice when it comes to looks. Good looking guys are viewed as Players if they posses some kind of confidence for example. Hot girls are approached or at least have all the attention. .

ahh but you forget one item DMADR....the 'hot' guy cannot make himself look less hot (facially at least). Many of the "hot' girls look average when seen without their makeup and hair done. So the avg girl can become hot when she so desires. The key is to find the avg looking girl with hot body who can make herself look hot when needed.

[DanielMadr]

ahh but you forget one item DMADR....the 'hot' guy cannot make himself look less hot (facially at least). Many of the "hot' girls look average when seen without their makeup and hair done. So the avg girl can become hot when she so desires. The key is to find the avg looking girl with hot body who can make herself look hot when needed.

 

Yeah. I always try to imagine, they have no hair and makeup:laugh: The ultimate test is to take them on river. 7 days of paddling and sleeping rough. It reveals true character. Im so bad:cool:

 

But you can dress down. I meet the best girls going to club in checkered shirt and cargo pants, with 3 day stubble. Wait. Im always like that:D

[sb129]

I don't know that looks have all that much to do with it. I mean, I know attractive women who can't get a good man. You know why? Because they have unrealistic expectations about relationships and the work it takes to get a good one off the ground. IMO, when there is a pattern in your life the only person you should be looking at is yourself. What do you do to contribute to the feedback loop? Why do the same men keep hitting on you? What vibes are you sending out there, where do you tend to meet the men you date, and how do you behave when in the confines of a relationship versus when you are dating?

When there's a pattern in your life the only person usually responsible is you.

.

Good post Blind Otter

 

That has nothing to do with looks. It's based on character, personality, and intelligence.

Not necessarily automatically, but the further you get away from the center of the bell curve, the more likely it is that she's bitchy. That is, there are a higher percentage of bitchy 9's, 10's, 1's, and 2's than there are bitchy 5's, 6's, and 7's.

 

And you too Tanbark. Most mature men think along the same lines as you.

Looks are only a small part of the package.

A good relationship will go beyond looks, but IMO Taylor, most 22year old guys won't have come round to that way of thinking yet.

 

your problems are nothing compared to some of not so good looking girls.

.

 

I'll say! Spare a thought for the girls who aren't so "hot". I bet they would be p*ssed to read this thread! But alot of the time, they have more than enough personality to make up for it, and thats why alot of "unhot" girls get guys.

 

Have you considered that looks are subjective?

Whats hot to one person isn't necessarily hot to another.

[sb129]

Yeah. I always try to imagine, they have no hair and makeup:laugh: The ultimate test is to take them on river. 7 days of paddling and sleeping rough. It reveals true character. Im so bad:cool:

 

But you can dress down. I meet the best girls going to club in checkered shirt and cargo pants, with 3 day stubble. Wait. Im always like that:D

 

hee hee- i know girls that won't go anywhere where there isn't a plug to plug in their hairdryer.. HIGH maintenance.

I am an above average looking girl who loves to rough it. I think my BF prefers me when we go camping to when we go clubbing! Go figure.

 

DanielMadr- every time I see your (stubbly) avatar, I think of the "love" scene in team america, and laugh to myself. Who thought puppets could get so down and dirty?

Do you need a montage?

[taylor]

OK, here's the lowdown.

 

I never considered myself attractive. I was shy and introverted most of my life. I grew up in a small town, very sheltered with very protective parents.

 

I was a virtual bookworm in school. Graduated high school with a 4.0 and college, a 3.9.

 

I consider myself to be a down-to-earth person. Honest and level headed. I look for the good and people and have always been very trusting to the point of being naive.

 

I am a good listener, easy going and very giving. And a loyal friend.

 

I am not a shallow or b*tchy person. You can read through some of my other posts here (read between the lines) to see what kind of person I am. Not that you have time to do that but....

 

I didn't have my first kiss or my first boyfriend until I was 21 years old.

I fell hard for him. I didn't see the warning signs. He wasn't over his ex and I was his rebound girl.

 

He told me I was the sweetest girl he had ever met. He told me I would be a wonderful mother to his children because I was so nurturing. He described me as pure and innocent...

 

I am. I am still a virgin.

 

Since the breakup I have tried to meet men. I am a late bloomer and new to this game. I don't really like the game.

 

During the past 8 months I have met many men - at work, social functions, etc. They tell me how attractive I am or "hot." I look at them like they are crazy. I never thought of myself that way.

 

Just a glimpse of my dating history since August:

 

Got asked out by a coworker 4 days after starting new job. I am a 2nd grade teacher. Went to late lunch on Fri. and out dancing Sat. Told me to call him. Never heard from him again. Friend of his said he's the kind to wait til girls call him. Said he was a player. I said I don't call guys after the first date. His friend said, "Oh, you're one of those kind of girls."

 

Got asked out by another coworker 2 wks. after starting job. Found out he had fathered 4 kids with three different women. Turned him down.

 

Got asked out by roommate's brother. Went to dinner on a Fri. and picnic on Sun. Started showering me with roses and tons of phone calls. The next weekend tells me he isn't over his ex. He had broken up with her less than a month ago.

 

Ran into old high school friend at a basketball game. Asked for my number and went out for bite to eat after the game. Called later that week to set a date for Sat. Called Fri. and cancelled date. Never heard from him again.

 

Met a guy on vacation at a club. Talked for 4 hours. Didn't have one drink - except soda. Met the next day and spent 4 hours at the beach. Told me he'd pay for me to take another flight home if I'd stay one more day. I couldn't. Asked for my number and told me he wanted to come visit me (he lives 3 hours from me). E-mailed me and called like crazy for a week. I find out on myspace he has a girlfriend and has been in a long term relationship. Ignored his calls.

 

Went out last week for ice cream with a friend of a coworker. Found out he flunked out of college because he was doing pot. (I don't drink or smoke!)

 

Met up with old high school acquaintance at a club. Danced all night. Talked for 2 hours afterwards at restaurant. Asked for my number. Thanked me for a wonderful night and said he would call to set up a date. Never called.

 

Met a guy at dance class. Seemed nice and somewhat shy. Ran into him at a local club later. Said he'd like to see me but told his friend, "I'd like to date her but I don't know what to do. What does she want? MONEY?" I was FLOORED. IS HE CRAZY???? I am a very non-materialistic person. I don't do name brands or spend $50 on a manicure.

 

I really don't know how to handle it. I am a nice girl. I want to find a nice guy. 8 months and I've come up empty handed.

[taylor]

sb129,

 

I, too, am an outdoors girl. A country girl at heart. Tent camped, hiked, went 4-wheeling and horseback riding alot when I was a kid and still do. I love the outdoors. Feel most comfy in jeans and sweatshirt and my hair thrown up on my head. I don't even own a blowdryer.

 

I am an outdoors, girl, too, and athletic. I love to bike and swim. Played volleyball and ran cross country in school. Kind of a tomboy.

 

I do go to clubs a lot since I turned 21 because it seems that's where everyone I know goes. I like to dance but I can forgo the rest of it.

 

And you'd rarely catch me at the mall. I'd rather be at the beach or skiing.

 

Some guys I meet are very surprised by this. They don't believe me at first. I tell them, forget the Porsche, I'd rather have a pick up truck!

[sb129]

Taylor, stop being so hard on yourself!

I have read some of your past posts, and you are a sweet good hearted person. you WILL find a man who is worthy of you, but you need to chill out!

 

Its not been THAT long since you and your ex split.

 

I think you might be looking a little TOO hard. And you might be giving off "too available" vibes if you are talking to people for 2-4 hours, or are so ready to go out with them!

Don't be so keen to give out your number or talk to guys you don't know so well.

it sounds like you are just going on dates with anyone that asks, you need to be a bit more discerning!

And don't fall so easily for smooth words, flowers etc. If a guy is really interested it could take time for him to do and say those things- but it will probably mean more.

 

Relax, enjoy your life with your friends, and don't stress so much.

 

You are only 22 babe! Its so young! You have loads of time. And as i said earlier, men your age aren't as a general rule interested in serious Rs..

 

Some tips- try and avoid dating co-workers. If it goes bad, there is nothing worse than having to face them and the workplace gossips every day. And its not the most professional thing in the world to do either.

Also pitfalls to try and avoid- holiday flings (hardly ever work out, reality sets in the moment you get home) and dating people who aren't that long out of a R.

[alphamale]

good advice SB129