prettyprincess Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 My husband of five years used to perform on a frequent basis. But I possibly married him for the wrong reasons. I was pregnant and he was a great man, but I was still never satisfied in the bedroom. I've had several of partners before him and my husband is the smallest in that area (although he is of average size- I say about 6 inches when really horny). Not much motion in the ocean either. Needless to say, he's never given me one orgasm. I WAS in love with him for many other reasons, but after a tumultuous period where he was (and actually still is) career-driven, those feelings have somewhat subsided. Of course I get many things I need like shelter, cars, jewelry, vacations etc, but he has totally been succumbed to the superficial things in life. I don't get HIM anymore. We have a five year old daughter as well who is so precious and he treats her so well WHEN HE IS AROUND. Apparently, he thinks that his money can buy me happiness and produce a fruitful marriage full of love and fidelity. Where is the compassion? He has changed into a different man; self-obsorbed, arrogant at times and just plain selfish. He has sex with me when he pleases and only pleases himself. He pretty much treats me like a ready-made whore. And honestly, he doesn't give me that much pleasure in the bedroom. Well, he has a younger brother- about six years his junior. And he has been staying with us for four months till he gets settled out here. My hubby asked him to move out here when they regained contact after many years of being emotionally severed. Well, this man is very attractive like my husband, but gives me the attention I need. When my child is at school, he comes onto me on an almost daily basis. 2 weeks ago while my kid was at school and my hubby working, I got drunk because I was so depressed and needed a pick-me-up. I was laying on the couch and he sat next to me watching a movie and asked something somewhat sexual and in a really kitty-kat cute voice, i was like "oh yeah baby". Anyways, the last thing I remember is him touching my breasts. I doubt anything ever happened although I did not ask him to confirm. But I would not be desperate enough to cheat with his brother no less- that would make me the scum of the earth. Anyways, I don't know what to make of this whole thing. My reservations and inhibitions are starting to give way and I'm afraid of what I am capable of! I'm not just going to kick his brother out on the street either... he went through a lot of physical abuse in the past and overall had a very rough life. I guess we are just 2 screwed up people living in the same household since my childhood wasn't all roses either. I'm so fearful to tell my husband. I'm even ashamed to tell him that he cannot sexually make me happy. I feel like that would crush him since there must be that same man I marry SOMEWHERE inside that body of his, but maybe he needs a crush to get him off that pedastal he placed HIMSELF on.
Not_That_Innocent Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Think about what would hurt him more - telling him that you aren't satisfied, or telling him that his brother turns you on and that you let him feel you up?
Mr. Lucky Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Wow prettyprincess, the "princess" part of your name is not just a description, it seems to be a self-appointed title. While your Husband is out killing himself trying to support the three of you (and possibly also his weaselly brother), your getting mid-day drunk on the couch and letting baby bro feel up your breasts. At least that's the part you remember before passing out... And in your mind, that's not cheating, because you're not "desperate enough"? You need a wake-up call on so many levels, it is hard to know where to begin. Kick the scum bag brother out of the house, come clean with your Husband about the whole sordid affair and ask his forgiveness. Then take some of the energy you are currently investing in self-pity and use it to WORK ON YOUR MARRIAGE. You just might be surprised by the results... Mr. Lucky
lorr Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Its understandable that maintaining a great sex life isn't going to be easy when you've been together for years. The both of you need to make sex a priority and spend the time and energy in coming up with new and varied ways of making it better. You need to start communicating more with your hubby and you have to be open and honest by telling him that your not happy sexually. Rather than solely relying on your husband to fullfill your sexual needs, why don't you start by taking the initiative? Be creative and use your imagination. Why not plan a weekend away at a hotel somewhere, where there is no outside distractions. Its all about making an effort and not being complacent. It doesn't bode well when your getting drunk in the afternoon and having your brother-in-law touching you up. If anything your asking for trouble.
LakesideDream Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Ah, if you gave a damn about your husband you would teach him how to give you orgasms instead of accepting security and material possesions (as you say, "that you need") like jewelry, cars, money, vacations, and a place to ball your brother in law. You are a really sad person. Laying the groundwork for "walking away", while gloming onto everything you can lay your grubby hands on. Shame on you.
Jane22067 Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 You are playing with dynamite. The risk of what a husband will do when he learns about infidelity is always problematic--but a brother under his own roof. Do you want to depending on his brother for your bed and board down the road--get serious and get the brother out of the house and your life.
reservoirdog1 Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 I suggest a three-pronged approach. 1) Get the brother out of there. Who cares about the sob story from his past -- he tried to pork his brother's wife. Sob story or not, he knew that was totally off-limits and did it anyway. Maybe that's why your husband was estranged from him for so long -- he probably tried to nail one of your husband's previous girlfriends. 2) TALK to your husband, tell him what the problems are, what you need in order to be satisfied (sexually and otherwise), leave out the small d!ck part, and suggest counselling. Put it in terms of "these are my needs, I love you and I want us to be great together, and I want to make sure I meet your needs too." Don't be judgmental. 3) For god's sake, get a job, or at least an active volunteer position. You've clearly got way too much time on your hands if all you're doing while your husband works and your child goes to school is drinking and watching movies with your lecherous brother in law. Plus, that would occupy you and help get your mind off self-pity.
Enema Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Do I get a prize for being the first person to say I think this is a troll?
jmargel Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 Getting drunk and passing out letting your husband's brother feel you up, while your 5 year old is off to defend for herself. Really nice, lady. Though 'lady' is not the word I have in mind. You talk about your husband being selfish? Out of the group you are the most selfish one there, followed by his brother. How about you getting off your lazy ass and working some so your husband doesn't need to be at the grind all day. Maybe then he'll have a little more energy to spend time with you. He can probably also sense that something is amiss and that is why he is keeping his distance from you. If you think we can't sense when something is wrong then you are mistaken. This will come back to bite you, hard. It's not a matter of if, but when. Honestly it's people like you who give good women a bad name. Grow up.
harleygirl92156 Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 If you are soooo beautiful and sooooo nice, why on earth did you SETTLE for this man in the first place? Obviously you could have and still could have any man you want, why did you pick someone who wasn't well endowed and able to satisfy your sexual appetite?? I would guess you are just tooo full of yourself for ANYONE to satisfy you....for long anyway. You are just tooo good for anyone. Its called self love and you sound like you have it. You say you don't know what all happened with the brother because after he started fondling you, you passed out. Let me be the first to say BS.....we all know better. You did the nasty with him and you are trying to play it off like if you did, it wasn't your fault......whatever. Your drunk, middle of the day, on the sofa in your robe with a man in the house........you were asking for it. GROW UP!!!!!
Guest Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 I think you must try to ask your brother-in-law what really happen after... Good Luck
Andy L Posted April 11, 2007 Posted April 11, 2007 I think you must try to ask your brother-in-law what really happen after... Good luck
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