scaredinlove Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 I am still involved somehow with MM but trying to break. I will start NC tomorrow let's see if it works. But looking back as much I loved this man and still do ,I feel that the whole thing has been more pain than joy. What is up with me and all of us to get involved in these situations? I am very lucid today and I feel that reallity has hit me in the face.What was I thinking? I guess I wasn't. Love shouldn't be a secret and so painfull.I mean the situation is crazy and painfull for everyone.Guilt,lies ,crying.longging,missing,jelousy,suffering,not knowing what to expect fromthe future,anxiety.Unbelivable,it all hit me in the face just now. Yes I enjoyed the sex and I was/am deeply in love with this man, but looking back I see that there was/is more pain involved than gain.Hopefully I will remember it and won't call that person again.Well just sharing my thoughts.
puddleofmud Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Wecome and am sincerely sorry this happened to you. So many have had the same experiences and concerns and can identify. Take care and do post when you need support as we are all here to listen and do what we are able for you!
sadbuttrue Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 when you finally see that there is more pain than joy it is time to get out. sounds like you made a good decision for your future happiness. i know it will hurt tremendously, but good luck.
kymberann Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Yes! When the pain outweighs what a real relationship should be, then you just know the R is just not meant to be. But to put a twist on it, it was something you needed right now and the past year regardless of the pain in order to learn or experience something that will bring you meaning in your current life. What do you think that would be? For me, although I knew I would never be with MM I learned what is really is like to be loved unconditionally. I can't say the R was unconditional though because of his marriage, but when we were together there was just he and I. He treated me with respect and attention and it was symbiotic. He treated me the way I have always wanted to be by a SO. I didn't get it from the XH, that's why I divorced. But I did from xmm. I also learned not to compromise when dating other SINGLE guys. I know what I want and won't go for anything less. I learned not to play games, get involved in the drama and get out while the going is good. Basically I learned to save myself first! And all of this from an affair! Best!
rdnkgrl31 Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 I just wanted to tell you good luck, and I hope you get to feeling better. I know this is going to be hard. I've thought about doing it myself. I just hope that one day I will have the strength to do the same thing. Right now, I know I am not ready to make that break. Anyways, just wanted to wish you the best of luck.
Jinxx Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 The NC thing is really hard. Two months for me now and I do have to see him on occasion. I will not call or email him. He has done the same. Sometimes I wonder if it is as hard for him as it is for me but deep down I don't think so. Good luck to you. The pain is unbearable at times. But each day gets a little bit better.
EC Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Right I believe that everything in life happens for a reason and there is definitely a lesson here. If not for you to learn from..then for him. Im so happy that you were hit with reality and that you can move on. Props! &..They say that theres loave and pain. But usually when there is pain you bear it because you are in love with the other person and I call them 'growing pains' basically because your still learning about the other person. But you bear it because you know or hope in the future you will get married/have kids/ live together/ whatever the case may be. But when you are going through all this pain with nothing to gain..thats when you have to take a step back and think what the hell am I doing. Going through sleepless nights/ jealousy/crying/ lies/ feelings of guilt..all for what? Hopefully you take with you the positive and yes NC is hard but it gets easier. And just think you will have freed yourself to find someone who will treat you wonderful. and even better out in the open!!! lol
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