fonky6 Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 I am 28, I have 3 children that I love more than anything. My problem is that I cannot seem to make room for my husband and I am not sure I want to. I have a full time job and I still have to be a full time wife and mother. At times it s a little much. Sometime I envy the divorced mother who gets to trade the kids off every couple of days. I do not get home until 6pm and still have to make dinner, help with homework , give the kids a bath and do whatever mild cleaning or laundry needs to be done. This is usually not over with until 10 or 11pm. But this is not my gripe. If I did manage to have time I am not sure I want to spend it with him. I have been maried for 8 years and been together with him for 10. We have always had a wonderful relationship and we are the best of friends. We are now at a point that we have to decide if we are going to remain together. He believes in Long Tems marriages and I beleive they are a thing of the past. With so much going on these days how can anyone have time to nurture a relationship. I get uncomfortable when he kisses me and cringe when he reaches out for me... I am not sure if this is because i do not love him in that way???? Or maybe I am just to closterphobic.( I am sure there is a better word for it.) I also believe at this point this is the only issue keping me from returning to him. I love being with him and we are really great friends. He has had issues with alchohol and is still dealing with some childhood issues tha he blames his temper and drinking on. I think his past drinking problems, all our past viciouse arguments, and the fact that his hygene has deterriated just al ittle since we have been married. Or maybe its that he has gained about 100 pouns??? I think this has contributed to the fact that I no longer want to be physical with him. Maybe I am just tired. But It has been this way for many years now and It has reached the point that I have sex because I have t not because I want to. I remeber when I used to say that I never thought anyone else was cute and My husband was the only one i could imagine being with. Now, I see hot guys all time, and wonder if i could actually be with someone else. I am confused. Can anyone relate to me at all or have any insignt. I feel like I am the only one. I have 3 children and one ont he way. I have contimplated getting an abortion because I have never imagined my self with 4 kids. This last one was a result of faulty birth control on both our parts. I cannot imagine geting a divorce and being pregant with a fourth child. I am sure I would never date agian. And who would I vacation with? Any advise is better than no advise. Please help if you can.
Just2Cute1972 Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Im sorry you are going thru what u are goin thru...i dont have a lot of advice but i did want to mention something. My ex husband walked out on me when i was 6 months pregnant with our son and four other children we had together, 2 of which are twins and were only 1 1/2 at the time. We had been married for seven years, together for 10. Terrified? OMG..i was hysterical. But..i made it. I found a place i could afford, i worked part time went to college full time. Graduated with a business degree got a decent job and that was over six years ago. As far as ur comment about never dating again...believe me, you will. I just got married again...my ex husband would always tell me no one would EVER want me with five kids. HAHA .. he eats those words to this day. Sorry, i cant offer more advice on ur situation, but i just wanted u to know that u arent alone in what ur feeling as ive been in your shoes.
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