gandalf Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 I have been with my girlfriend for 18 months now and I have a lovely relationship with her and her 2 children. I am 36, separated with no children and she is 38 and divorced. For the past several weeks I have had a nagging doubt that we will not work out long term and it built up to the point of me being desperate to end it and that is all I could think about when we were together. I somehow managed to do it earlier today by being straight to the point and saying it was over as I did not see our future together. She did not think my reason was good enough and was completely devastated. My problem is that all the negative feelings of the past 2 months have gone and I have spent the last 6 hours in tears thinking I have made a big mistake. Why am I feeling like this and is it just an initial reaction that will settle down after a few days because I am guilty about hurting her and her 2 children? I am a complete mess about doing something I wanted to do, so why am I not relieved?
1DeadB Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Why are telling us. Go tell her. But if she is smart, she already has another guy on the line. Why can't guys think before they act?
AnneB49 Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Emotions are messy...enjoy them...then go find some little tart in a bar somewhere and distract yourself for a few hours. I am sure your newly minted exGF will be taking a similar approach...
neowulf Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 I have been with my girlfriend for 18 months now and I have a lovely relationship with her and her 2 children. I am 36, separated with no children and she is 38 and divorced. For the past several weeks I have had a nagging doubt that we will not work out long term and it built up to the point of me being desperate to end it and that is all I could think about when we were together. I somehow managed to do it earlier today by being straight to the point and saying it was over as I did not see our future together. She did not think my reason was good enough and was completely devastated. My problem is that all the negative feelings of the past 2 months have gone and I have spent the last 6 hours in tears thinking I have made a big mistake. Why am I feeling like this and is it just an initial reaction that will settle down after a few days because I am guilty about hurting her and her 2 children? I am a complete mess about doing something I wanted to do, so why am I not relieved? It's hard walking away from something which played such an important role in your life for an extended period of time. It *could* be that you have unresolved issues about realationships in general. On the other hand, that feeling you had was there for a reason. Just because you've goten some space doesn't mean it wasn't valid at the time. I'd really suggest finding a professional to talk with about the feelings you're having. It's normal to feel grief after a seperation and to doubt your decision. You have to remember that you decided to leave for a reason. Try and focus on what those reasons were. Because chances are, even if she took you back, they wouldn't change.
norajane Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Seeing as you aren't even divorced yet, I can understand why you'd be having doubts about this woman. Why aren't you divorced? You haven't resolved those feelings and the fallout of the failure of your marriage, so you really have little to give to anyone else.
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