gillybean Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Ok here is the history! My boyfriend of just under 2 years cheated on me just recently. He hooked up with 3 girls at once. I will give him credit for telling me but now he is getting very distant and pulling away from me. I asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship still or if he wanted to see or experiment some more. All he said was that he wanted to only experiance things with me. So what I don't understand is why he can't get past this and move forward with me. I have accepted that It happens and I'm ready to move on. But why isn't he here right along side with me????
Sweetie2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Ok here is the history! My boyfriend of just under 2 years cheated on me just recently. He hooked up with 3 girls at once. I will give him credit for telling me but now he is getting very distant and pulling away from me. I asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship still or if he wanted to see or experiment some more. All he said was that he wanted to only experiance things with me. So what I don't understand is why he can't get past this and move forward with me. I have accepted that It happens and I'm ready to move on. But why isn't he here right along side with me???? So after he cheated, you were willing to take him back? (just making sure i get it right). Did YOU go back to normal, or are you slightly more distant, less trusting, now, because of what happened? If he wanted to only experience things with you, then he wouldn't have hooked up with those other girls. IMO, he doesn't sound very serious, or like he respects you or your feelings. If you were faithful enough to take him back, even after what he did to you, then he should be greatful to have you, not pushing you away. I would tell him that he's either in the relationship, or not, your not willing to have games played with your feelings because he wants you and other stuff. LD can be very hard, and very stressy on the needs of people...maybe he just wasn't cut out for it......?
roxy_1980 Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Personally, I think there's a difference between "Oops, I got drunk and had sex with some random person" and "Oops, I decided to have my own personal orgy". Both are wrong, but the latter is much, much worse. The fact that he not only cheated on you once, but three times (they just happened to be all the same night) speaks volumes. It takes time to be with that many people, it never occurred to him in all that time that maybe he should stop what he was doing. He is becoming distant because he is no longer invested in the relationship. What he did was evidence of that. I think that maybe he wants the realtionship to end, but is too much of a coward to do it himself. So he sleeps with multiple people and tells you so that you'd do it for him. Now that you're still together, he's pushing the game further. Pulling away, so that you'll get frustrated and leave him. It may be subconcious, it may not. Same result.
norajane Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Maybe he feels guilty, but I think he's pulling away because he wants to pull away from you - he just won't come out and say it. He probably thought you'd break up with him after he told you about the cheating, but now he's stuck because you're being so forgiving. Try pulling away or breaking up with him and see what happens. If he makes no effort to get you back, BEG for you to come back, then you know what's what.
BlueEyedSarah Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Ok here is the history! My boyfriend of just under 2 years cheated on me just recently. He hooked up with 3 girls at once. I will give him credit for telling me but now he is getting very distant and pulling away from me. I asked him if he wanted to be in a relationship still or if he wanted to see or experiment some more. All he said was that he wanted to only experiance things with me. So what I don't understand is why he can't get past this and move forward with me. I have accepted that It happens and I'm ready to move on. But why isn't he here right along side with me???? It sounds like he is too coward to break up with you, it makes me wonder if he really did cheat on you with 3 girls or if he was making it an excuse just so you would break up with him.
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