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Posted

Question, I just recently moved in with my boyfriend. He acts so weird when it comes to various situations.... I have a dog and I ask him "let's take her for a walk around the block" he doesn't want to do that... he says that he hates his neighborhood. He will want to know exactly when I am going to be home, he is very private.

 

To me this is weird, I just don't understand. He will tell me "why don't you just go out and f*ck someone else, I am giving you permission so therefore it's not cheating".. What in the world is that supposed to mean? I am just not okay with this.:mad:

Posted
Question, I just recently moved in with my boyfriend. He acts so weird when it comes to various situations.... I have a dog and I ask him "let's take her for a walk around the block" he doesn't want to do that... he says that he hates his neighborhood. He will want to know exactly when I am going to be home, he is very private.

 

To me this is weird, I just don't understand. He will tell me "why don't you just go out and f*ck someone else, I am giving you permission so therefore it's not cheating".. What in the world is that supposed to mean? I am just not okay with this.:mad:

 

Lets see;

 

 

He wont go on a walkswith you.

 

He wants to know when you'll be home.

 

He tells you to go f*ck someone else.

 

 

What do YOU think this means?

Posted
Lets see;

 

 

He wont go on a walkswith you.

 

He wants to know when you'll be home.

 

He tells you to go f*ck someone else.

 

 

What do YOU think this means?

 

One of 3 things:

 

#1 - He's got some porn thing going on that he's hiding from you.

 

#2 - #1 AND he's doing online cybersex or trying to hookup with someone online

 

#3 - #1,#2 AND he's ****ing someone else

  • Author
Posted

We will usually do lots together...it's not that. It is just when it comes to other things he seems a bit weird.... He was married before me and his wife cheated on him with his best friend. Not only his best friend but he is also a co-worker with him. I do not know if it is an insecurity with him because I know he was hurt in the past. We share the computer and I am very good on computers from programming ect... I know that he is not doing cyber stuff.... he occasionally will look at porn but that doesn't bother me.. Does it change your view from my first post now knowing a small amount of his past????:(

Posted

Agreed! He's hiding something. Wanting to know when you'll be home could be protective, but not mixed with the other stuff..he won't go with you cuz he doesn't want to be seen in the area with you... i say force him to tell you the truth, or just leave him, or both. Sorry...not good news :(

Posted

It means he doesn't love you.

 

Ariadne

Posted
It means he doesn't love you.

 

Right to the point as always, eh, Ariadne?

 

I love your new avatar. You always pick such nice ones. :love:

Posted

Oh,

 

So that's who you are.

 

I like your posts.

 

Ariadne

Posted

He's weird. Not even wanting to go on a dog walk with you? He doesn't like his neighborhood? Then why does he live there?

 

Has he done any therapy? It more than a little sucks when your loved one/spouse cheats on you with someone who is and was a friend or co-worker (I know, my x-husband did that). He more than likely has a few trust issues around that which could explain but not justifiy the "why don't you go bonk someone else".

 

Whose idea was it for you to move in with him?

 

Sounds like you two need to have a conversation and you need to ask him these questions.

  • Author
Posted

The thing is that I have brought up so many of these issues and I am then the one that seems insecure. He is the one that asked me to move in, he is the one that took most of the actions with me. I know that he is insecure with relationships and I am the one having to deal with his past issues. It is really frustrating. I find myself being so depressed over these issues.

 

Why can't it just be easy?Every single relationship that I have ever had has always been SO hard.... how do I make it better for both of us. It just seems as if we are constantly against eachother...... to be honest, I had a breast augmentation in December and it seems since then he has made the comments more and more of me cheating on him. I'm not like that, I do not flaunt my chest.... I do not grab onto the attention that I am now getting.. I am the same person with the same integrity that I had before. How do I make him feel secure again?

Posted

How do I make him feel secure again?

 

You can reassure a insecure person, over and over again things are fine, but until they truly believe that themselves, and stop being insecure, it probably wont matter much.

 

Basically, the bottom line is, how much of this are you willing to tolerate or accept? If its something you think you can live with, then thats fine, but dopn't expect much change from him with whatever you do or say. It has to come from him.

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