whereismylife Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 I had wondered how I would know for sure if my husband broke it off with his mistress. He did last weekend. Since then she has show up at his office and she has sent me two e-mails. The first one I read and the second I did not. I blocked her address so she cannot contact me. My husband also changed his cell phone number. It is a start.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 It is not unusual for MM/OW to go 'underground' after Dday. MM will change his phone number, send OW a 'no contact' letter, and swear that he has no contact with OW when in fact, he has already given her his new number (or gotten a different cell phone to use with her), has told her to disregard the forced 'no contact' letter, and is in fact very much in contact with OW - just being much, much more sneaky about it. Do you have money for a PI, a voice activated recorder to hide in his car, or at the very least some keylogging software? Without digging this deep, all you have is his word - and right now, just out of Dday, that word isn't worth very much. If you go this route, at the very least your mind will be settled about whether or not he is in contact with OW. Just be prepared for anything you may or may not find out. Don't dig if you can't handle the worst case scenario.
norajane Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Does he tell you where he is when he's not at home? Are there unexplained absences? Has he given you his passwords to all his email? Can you check credit card bills for strange dinners out and other purchases? Can you check his cell phone records for calls to and from her? He needs to be willing to be an open book right now. If he's not willing, then he may be hiding something. And have you started marriage counseling?
Guest Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 My MM just got caught a month a ago, We cooled it about 7 days, now he is over at my house everyday, She thinks he is at work. So bottom line, they LIE, tell you what you want to hear, My mm goes home everyday same time, On his day off he tell her he has errands to run..... He at my house go figure, Hire a Private Eye, YOU WILL FIND OUT We have been doing this almost 3 years
outofdarkness Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 It is not unusual for MM/OW to go 'underground' after Dday. MM will change his phone number, send OW a 'no contact' letter, and swear that he has no contact with OW when in fact, he has already given her his new number (or gotten a different cell phone to use with her), has told her to disregard the forced 'no contact' letter, and is in fact very much in contact with OW - just being much, much more sneaky about it. Do you have money for a PI, a voice activated recorder to hide in his car, or at the very least some keylogging software? Without digging this deep, all you have is his word - and right now, just out of Dday, that word isn't worth very much. If you go this route, at the very least your mind will be settled about whether or not he is in contact with OW. Just be prepared for anything you may or may not find out. Don't dig if you can't handle the worst case scenario. Yep. I totally agree. After our big "D" day, my H did indeed go underground for almost 6 months before he went into treatment and finally admitted to me that he had stayed in contact with one of his OW's...It's not unusual, but not acceptable at all if the couple is going to make the M work..There should be NO contact what so ever...
scubafish Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 yes, I went through 3 of these 'breakups', all of them complete with breakup letters, promises, etc. I am still mad at myself for believeing in him. the 1st 2 lasted 3 weeks, the last one went 6 weeks. after that one , I asked him to leave.
outofdarkness Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 yes, I went through 3 of these 'breakups', all of them complete with breakup letters, promises, etc. I am still mad at myself for believeing in him. the 1st 2 lasted 3 weeks, the last one went 6 weeks. after that one , I asked him to leave. Good for you. He would have kept playing w/ your emotions and feeding you lies..You have to start somewhere, and in my opinion, asserting yourself is the best approach...Regarding how you will know for sure if he's really broken off all contact, in my situation, I knew when his behavior changed. This is how I gauge what is going on or not going on. It's really the very best indicator.
Recommended Posts