the_pope Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 My new girlfriend showed feelings which were getting stronger and stronger. Two nights ago it climaxed with the most intense display of emotion I have ever seen. It was so strong I questioned it. This knocked her as it showed I didn't trust her. I have been crucified by other women so I'm just a bit cynical and cautious. Nothig wrong with that. She said she was so hurt by it. The problem is, since then I can see her texts are cooler, not so charged. This is driving me insane as I really have very strong feelings for her. I cannot believe my reaction to her opening up has caused this. I really really feel that I am losing her now. I have said a few things along the lines of expression of anticipation at seeing her tonight, and she didn't reciprocate the same level of anticipation like she always has. There are one or two other things like that, and again, not the same level of reciprocation as I have previously had from her. Things like this make you obsessed, its insane. One or two things like this have happened with us before, and it always gets resloved within two days. Usually when we next see each other. But this time I'm now petrified. She is coming over in a few hours and I don't know how to act. I'm worried this fear will show. Could this be that because she felt knocked she is just backing off temporarily? Or can somebodys intense feelings change literally overnight? She is a very insecure person and I know I am her knight in shining armour. I'm just so scared I've been used, again. I actually care deeply about her and have secretly cried to myself when I think of the terrible injustices she has suffered. I have very genuine feelings for this girl and it is very scary. I've already suffered the loss of one or two who can be described as "The one that got away" and I will never forget the pain. I'm just scared this is going to repeat. Basically, what do I do now?
Guest Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Oh dear dude... you've questioned the strenght of her feelings for you so you've hurt her, changed the equal balance of your relationship and made her feel like an idiot for opening up just when she was feeling secure... As you said "She is a very insecure person and I know I am her knight in shining armour. I'm just so scared I've been used, again." I think if someone did this to me I would start to question the relationship and if this person really likes me as much as I like them. I would also learn never to show so much emotion again. So the only thing for it is.... put yourself on the line and show her your vunerable side - its time for the big displays of love and the grand gestures.. If you're too scared to do this then yep I think your relationship will have changed forever and you wont quite get back to where is was. (sorry)
tanbark813 Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Well first and foremost, don't worry about it so much. If her feelings are genuine, they're not going to change overnight. Chances are she's just holding back. How long have you guys been together? What exactly did she say? If she was making grandiose claims of love after two weeks then I'd be suspicious as well but the timeframe matters here. Also, what she does and how she treats you is more important than what she says.
serial muse Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 My new girlfriend showed feelings which were getting stronger and stronger. Two nights ago it climaxed with the most intense display of emotion I have ever seen. It was so strong I questioned it. This knocked her as it showed I didn't trust her. I have been crucified by other women so I'm just a bit cynical and cautious. Nothig wrong with that. She said she was so hurt by it. The problem is, since then I can see her texts are cooler, not so charged. This is driving me insane as I really have very strong feelings for her. I cannot believe my reaction to her opening up has caused this. I really really feel that I am losing her now. I have said a few things along the lines of expression of anticipation at seeing her tonight, and she didn't reciprocate the same level of anticipation like she always has. There are one or two other things like that, and again, not the same level of reciprocation as I have previously had from her. Things like this make you obsessed, its insane. One or two things like this have happened with us before, and it always gets resloved within two days. Usually when we next see each other. But this time I'm now petrified. She is coming over in a few hours and I don't know how to act. I'm worried this fear will show. Could this be that because she felt knocked she is just backing off temporarily? Or can somebodys intense feelings change literally overnight? She is a very insecure person and I know I am her knight in shining armour. I'm just so scared I've been used, again. I actually care deeply about her and have secretly cried to myself when I think of the terrible injustices she has suffered. I have very genuine feelings for this girl and it is very scary. I've already suffered the loss of one or two who can be described as "The one that got away" and I will never forget the pain. I'm just scared this is going to repeat. Basically, what do I do now? I really doubt her feelings have changed overnight; she's just feeling a little worried about yours, I'd guess. Think about it this way: look at how nervous you are when she's not acting as enthusiastic and googly-eyed; suddenly it makes you doubt everything and wonder how she really feels. Well, that's probably how she's responding to you - with worry and uncertainty and insecurity. Maybe, if you're really worried about how she feels, you can take a big, trusting step (as she did before) and just be honest and open with her about the depth of your emotion for her? It's scary but there can be a big payoff, and she's already done the hard part, by doing it first. As tanbark said, though - how long have you guys been together? If it's only a couple of weeks, then maybe you're both going a little fast.
Author the_pope Posted March 23, 2007 Author Posted March 23, 2007 Thank you both. Its been two months nearly. I think that is long enough as we really have an amazing connection. We both have agreed that it is more awesome than anybody ever in our lives. She said "I thought oyu felt what I felt, I feel stupid and vulnerable now" Can this scare her off? Or could tonight be a good chance to make it up to her. I do feel the same, thats the silly thing. But now its going to be a job and a half getting her to believe it.
Lauriebell82 Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 well are u guys in love? have u told her u love her? believe me girls (esp. ones who have been very hurt by men) can question their bfs feelings if they differ from the "i love u so much baby" sort of talk.i know this cause i am one of them. honestly u just need to reassure her that u do care for her and that everything is ok. my bf does this for me when i get insecure, and it helps reassure me that he does love me. she's not going to change her feelings overnight, but reassure her that u do love her and want to be with her. hopefully that will help her get over whatever is her deal.
DanielMadr Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 The best way how to act is.... Every sentence end with 'Will you take fries with it?' Take a guitar and start to sing about Jesus. Every now and then pick up some girly magazine and make a dash for bathroom. That should scare her off.
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