shellys-trying Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 I've done some bluffing of my own. I bluffed after my H had his A some years ago. I knew I'd never leave him or kick him out, but I had to stand up for myself and ou kids. So, I made him choose us or his whore. He chose us, but I had to let him know I would tolerate no more of that and he knew on a daily basis for some months/a couple years how much he hurt us. Him dealing with it helped him realize what pain he dealt us. He had never threatened to cheat when we M, or through the years. I never threatened either. We just grew apart some, with jobs,kids,responsibilities. But, through it all, I stayed faithful. He chose not to. Bad choice on his part because the OW he chose was just after an easy life and stealing some woman's H made her feel important. She didn't count on just being a POA. She must have counted on her feminine wiles and quiet unassuming ways to make him like her more. If that was what it takes to get a MM away from his family, she shouldn't have opened her legs and gave it away, making her easy and free, no strings attached.
scubafish Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 hmmm, does itching powder in underwear count as revenge? I sure felt good for those few days they wondered what made them itch and burn! Childish, I know, but it didn't involve anyone else, or feelings
shellys-trying Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Now, are you talking about itching powder for the OW & your SO/H? If so, sure, that's fair. I have an aunt who had her hubby come home one night talking drunkenly about a woman he thought was attractive, don't know that he slept with said woman, but my aunt just rubbed his genitals down good with BenGay.
scubafish Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 yes, I put in his unders, and the transfer caused hers to itch as well. I think your Aunt has jealousy issues! talking is not the same as doing!
serial muse Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 I still think the ultimate revenge is just letting them be themselves. I agree, C. That's also what I did. And I also agree with the gym thing - at 35, I'm in fantastic shape now, better than ever (and my current BF tells me how sexy he thinks I am all the time). Ha! That's some awesome revenge.
shellys-trying Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 yes, I put in his unders, and the transfer caused hers to itch as well. I think your Aunt has jealousy issues! talking is not the same as doing! I wouldn't want my H to be telling me about some bimbo being good looking, unless of course, he's talking about someone like Nicole Kidman or a movie star. It's not likely he could get those women, but a bimbo in the local Walmart or at a food joint, yeah, I'd have a big problem with his voicing his thoughts on how pretty or what a nice rack she has. It's just not about jealousy, it'a about respect for your spouse/SO.
Salicious Crumb Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 I told my wife a long time ago that if she ever slept with someone else, I wouldn't leave her and I'd still love her, but I would probably end up returning the favor. Why should she have all the fun? As far as I've been able to determine, she's remained 100% faithful. Although you definitely shouldn't lower yourself to a cheater's level...what did she say when you said you'd cheat in return??
Salicious Crumb Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 I told my wife a long time ago that if she ever slept with someone else, I wouldn't leave her and I'd still love her, but I would probably end up returning the favor. QUOTE] Well, I have more respect for myself than to do some bullsh*t revenge crap. But, I would very much doubt that she's stayed faithful to you just because of your threat/comment you made years ago that you've mentioned above. Some women aren't made that way. Sounds like you put more thought into the cheating than she did, since you already have a revenge plan set aside for "just in case". I wonder if she has one for you? What revenge would she have? Revenge for revenge? She was the one that cheated on him...not the other way around.
Salicious Crumb Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Well, at the time, she was working with a guy that she admitted that she found attractive. Nothing ever happened (confidence>99%), but I could tell she was tempted. Between you and me, I was bluffing. I'm crazy about her and her cheating wouldn't make me stop loving her or make me want to leave her. And if she does cheat?
shellys-trying Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 What revenge would she have? Revenge for revenge? She was the one that cheated on him...not the other way around. This bothers me too. I mean, the OW for example thinks the BW has no business getting in her face about cheating with the BW's H. The OW in my H's A even had the nerve when I called her up after finding out about the A to tell me not to call her home anymore since her kids would hear our conversations and they didn't need to be subjected to that stuff. This from a woman who had her friend call my home to tell me my husband was cheating, even gave me the OW's name, address, and phone #, to which my daughter answered the phone and heard this crap first. WTF! Also, the then OW would pawn her 2 kids off onto her in laws or xH when she knew my H was coming over for a bj. Again, WTF! I guess when she was servicing my H, her kids came 2nd? OWs and cheaters in general are so full of double standards it's disgusting!
Crazy Eddie Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Although you definitely shouldn't lower yourself to a cheater's level...what did she say when you said you'd cheat in return?? I'll be good! I couldn't stand to see you with another woman! And if she does cheat? Maybe I'm nuts, but I'd stay with her and love her anyway. No question about it.
Salicious Crumb Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 This bothers me too. I mean, the OW for example thinks the BW has no business getting in her face about cheating with the BW's H. The OW in my H's A even had the nerve when I called her up after finding out about the A to tell me not to call her home anymore since her kids would hear our conversations and they didn't need to be subjected to that stuff. This from a woman who had her friend call my home to tell me my husband was cheating, even gave me the OW's name, address, and phone #, to which my daughter answered the phone and heard this crap first. WTF! Also, the then OW would pawn her 2 kids off onto her in laws or xH when she knew my H was coming over for a bj. Again, WTF! I guess when she was servicing my H, her kids came 2nd? OWs and cheaters in general are so full of double standards it's disgusting! Yes they are. Its like they think cheaters should not have to pay any price or suffer consequences even when the BS will be punished unjustly by what the cheater did pretty much from that point on. Not saying that the betrayed can't get back to some normalcy, but it will be in their mind for the rest of their lives off and on.
Salicious Crumb Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 I'll be good! I couldn't stand to see you with another woman! ya...but it was apparantly ok for her to be with another man...oh the hypocrisy. Maybe I'm nuts, but I'd stay with her and love her anyway. No question about it. Hmm....well man...that is your choice...one I am still struggling with. Looks like she will have to pay the ultimate price if things don't change...the burden of guilt that she is the one that destroyed our family.
shellys-trying Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 Yes they are. Its like they think cheaters should not have to pay any price or suffer consequences even when the BS will be punished unjustly by what the cheater did pretty much from that point on. Not saying that the betrayed can't get back to some normalcy, but it will be in their mind for the rest of their lives off and on.[/[/b]QUOTE] The OW my H skanked with wanted their "friendship" to continue, even tho' he told her the A was over. She said he shouldn't avoid her at work.The only times (which were usually a 5 minute stop by her work area on friday night)he ever went around her at work was to set up his "saturday evening on his way to work 15 minute bj visit". I'm sure if their A had been more than physical on his part, she'd have really tried to drill it into my head of how much he luuuvvved her. Maybe she might have been more bold about it if she hadn't been so scared I would have gave her a fist sandwich. lol I wouldn't have, but, she didn't know that. I had more respect for my kids than to brawl with the office pump.
mrmaximum Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 I guess I could have cheated when I found out about my WH's A but I didn't. I had more respect for myself and my children to do that. It had absolutely nothing to do with hurting him or not hurting him. It would have hurt me and my kids, if I'd done a cheating revenge thing. We were already hurting enough because of what he did. Exceptional point, you have my respect!! Thinking about you and the kids in such a difficult time. Kudos!!!
mrmaximum Posted March 28, 2007 Posted March 28, 2007 This bothers me too. I mean, the OW for example thinks the BW has no business getting in her face about cheating with the BW's H. The OW in my H's A even had the nerve when I called her up after finding out about the A to tell me not to call her home anymore since her kids would hear our conversations and they didn't need to be subjected to that stuff. This from a woman who had her friend call my home to tell me my husband was cheating, even gave me the OW's name, address, and phone #, to which my daughter answered the phone and heard this crap first. WTF! Also, the then OW would pawn her 2 kids off onto her in laws or xH when she knew my H was coming over for a bj. Again, WTF! I guess when she was servicing my H, her kids came 2nd? OWs and cheaters in general are so full of double standards it's disgusting! They don't mind dishing it out to make you more likely to dump your hubby, they don't want that crap on themselves. They don't want their kids to know that there are horrible people, I mean, what would they think of them then?
shellys-trying Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 They don't mind dishing it out to make you more likely to dump your hubby, they don't want that crap on themselves. They don't want their kids to know that there are horrible people, I mean, what would they think of them then? Really good point here, mrm. On d-day, H's OW tried to get something over on me when i told her the A was over and to find herself a SG. She said, "How can you stay with someone who doesn't love you?" I of course assured her H loved me, even tho' I didn't really know if he still did at that time. Some months after dday, inwhich dday had beenwas when the A ended, I was able to turn the tables on her when I "face to face" confronted her because she had followed me into a store deliberately. I asked her how she could work around someone who didn't love her. She just stared at me like she'd been slapped in the face. What could she say? She knew H hadn't cared for anything but those quickie, once a month bj's. If he'd pledged his undying love and devotion to her she'd have thrown it in my face. I'm surprised being the tramp she was she didn't try it. But, again, we were face to face and she couldn't judge whether I'd slug her in public. lol
Guest Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 I guess I could have cheated when I found out about my WH's A but I didn't. I had more respect for myself and my children to do that. It had absolutely nothing to do with hurting him or not hurting him. It would have hurt me and my kids, if I'd done a cheating revenge thing. We were already hurting enough because of what he did. So true for me as well. Affairs leave the betrayed party with two choices: Put aside your pride and live with the knowledge that your spouse cheated on you everpresent in your mind because you see them every single day, for the sake of keeping the family together and not hurting the children; or... Take the marriage and family apart, and watch your kids go through all they will go through, but you salvage your pride and self-worth. It is a bitter pill any way you try to swallow it. Sleeping with someone else only complicates the matter. I also did not sleep with anyone else even though I lost my appetite and I lost a lot of weight and was getting alot of attention from other men. It was tempting. I can understand how a person might seek out revenge.
mrmaximum Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 Excellent way to turn the tables and you did it with class, my hat's off to you . She obviously wanted to make you feel bad but she had no ammunition in her gun to fire back with once you leveled her with the truth!! She lost, you both knew that and she was left with nothing but a bad experience. Looks good on her!!
shellys-trying Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 I can look back on that day without getting angry now, 6 yrs down the road, without any regrets. I did my way. I can even laugh about it. The woman was a true gold digger. Now, from what I heard a year or so ago she is reaping what she tried to sew by being with her xH, who is nothing but a dopehead. The only thing is her kids have to deal with it as well. Very selfish POS this woman is.
silktricks Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 It's wrong to seek revenge against someone who never meant to hurt you in the first place. Most OW are not sleeping with your husbands for the purpose of hurting you. It just turns you into the vicious villain and makes the OW look benign. The OW is hurting enough, believe it or not. First off, this thread is not about revenge against the OW, it's about revenge against the WS - remember him/her? That's the person who swore undying love and then dropped you like a hot potato when their spouse found out. Secondly, it's somehow supposed to make a difference that the OW hurts? Frankly, I couldn't have cared less how much the b**ch hurt. The more the better as far as I was concerned. Anyone who cared so little about the pain she caused deserved whatever she got IMHO. And don't even go there about it being all the MP's fault, or the BS's fault 'cuz they didn't "take care" of their WS. I'm in no mood for it right now.
silktricks Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 But back to the OP's question: First husband - yes, but not until after I filed for divorce. Second husband - no, not in the cards in any way. boyfriend in between, yes, but at the time I didn't consider it cheating, I considered it looking around, just like he was obviously doing.
Citizen Erased Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 I definetely could have gotten right back at my ex when he cheated on me. We were at a party and he decided some trashy skank was a better prospect to stick his dirty c@ck in then his own girlfriend (and I mean, she is DIRT). I could have chosen from 3-4 guys who were quite open to help me get revenge, but my way was much sweeter. I stayed with him for another 2 months, he decided he was so in love with me blah blah and then I left him for his best friend. I actually was trying to work it out with him, but I became closer to his friend (who btw wasn't very good friends with the ex after he cheated on me) as he was a good friend and it just went from there. I am still with his ex-best friend and our relationship is 1,000 times better. I didn;'t do it on purpose, but in the end it worked out lol
pelagicsands Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 I could have chosen from 3-4 guys who were quite open to help me get revenge, Why choose?
Citizen Erased Posted March 31, 2007 Posted March 31, 2007 Why choose? I was way too tired from the lesbian dildo gang bang before that
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