chill chic Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 So I'm new to this MM thing, I've never even thought about a MM before, but after reading posts from this topic, it seems as though it happens more often than I think. Maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high? Huh go figure...but really...how often does this occur? And do alot of people experience this at least once in their lifetime? What usually comes out of this type of relationship?
woe_is_me Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 What usually comes out of this type of relationship? tears....?
sadbuttrue Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 .............and therapists and antidepressants
Island Girl Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 but lets dont forget the mind-blowing sex oh yes. And then afterward he goes home and cuddles and sleeps with his wife while you sleep alone, wake up alone, spend holidays alone, go on vacations alone - shall I go on?
Jinxx Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 What usually comes out of this type of relationship? Nothing. Unless MM decides to leave his marriage, nothing.
elijahBailey Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Nothing. Unless MM decides to leave his marriage, nothing. Can't be nothing... Otherwise they would've left the MM a long time ago. What these people crave for is the "sweetness" of stolen love. Even when it's already turned bitter down the road, they still convince themselves otherwise.
puddleofmud Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Doesn't sound as if the prior posters have at all convinced themselves "otherwise"? And, in my lowly opinion: "these people" are whom? Perhaps you haven't perused this forum well, dear.... Can't be nothing... Otherwise they would've left the MM a long time ago. What these people crave for is the "sweetness" of stolen love. Even when it's already turned bitter down the road, they still convince themselves otherwise.
outofdarkness Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 And...sometimes the OW/OM or BS ends up learning alot from the experience and ends up w/ a new and more fulfilling, happier life...
puddleofmud Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 So I'm new to this MM thing, I've never even thought about a MM before, but after reading posts from this topic, it seems as though it happens more often than I think. Maybe that is why the divorce rate is so high? Huh go figure...but really...how often does this occur? And do alot of people experience this at least once in their lifetime? What usually comes out of this type of relationship? Personally, I don't feel this is a phenomenon. Affairs have been happening since the beginning of time. Once encountered: it does seem to happen more often than would would "think". Operative term "more than I think". So dispose the thought from your one life-time instant and don't think it; only a sub-set think it, so don't join! What shall it bring you? Complete self-loathing. Hating your own skin, your sexuality, your belief in honest connection, your relationships with your family and friends, and one big a$$ monster under your bed. Beds are made for far better things so don't plant a monster under there that will haunt you for the rest of your life!!!
woe_is_me Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 howcome he's allowed to call me after 4 years when it took me well over 12 months to let go ..i remember calling him around 12 months of NC and he hung up on me..why would he do this to me ..? yes i know all the BS's will tell me i'm doing this to myself..but i didnt call me after four years did i.. and ive been cheated on i left my marriage because of a one night stand ..exH and i are very good friends but don't/can't/won't live together..we probably could if i could bring myself to have those feelings for my exH but i don't.. and i can't get my head around how his W can put up with him having a 12 month A with someone and still put up with him when hes calling the same girl 4 years later? God this is a mess... Im having a bad night tonight it's one of those i just want to march right up to his front door and say oh hi i exist can u tell your husband to not call me? I adored him and this really hurts.
Chapter2 Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 This is a quote from HereNow on another thread that I found to be dead on..."OW ask why it's so easy for the MM to end the affair after D-day and then pick it up again after (as they say) the dust settles. It's possible to work on a marriage long enough for things to settle, but if the MM doesn't address and work on himself, the problem is still there. As long as there is something lacking in the MM he will look for something to fill the hole. It's easy to go back to what he already knows, but in most cases, it has nothing to do with who the OW is. These MM will do and say whatever it takes to get their fix. It's all about them and their needs." Woe is Me, he has obviously not done the work necessary on HIMSELF to be any different...it has nothing to do with your worth or his wife's worth. To contact you again shows disrespect to you and to his wife. Loving his wife means respecting their union. Loving his wife means keeping his word and doing whatever it takes to pursue health and accountability not to fall into infidelity again. Loving you means not contacting you again as long as he is married, committed to another and emotionally unavailable. Contacting you while married is simply saying I love ME, ME, ME and this is what I want RIGHT THIS MINUTE. His selfishness is repugnant and I'm sure his wife would be as shocked as you were to know he contacted you. Damn him for messing with your head and heart again. It's just like the call I received..."I love you, I love you, I love you and my wife will never have all of me again because of how much I love you...please have a happy life and know that I think of you at least once every hour of my life" um...okay. That call was about him...not about me and it felt about as loving as someone throwing sand in my eyes.
woe_is_me Posted March 26, 2007 Posted March 26, 2007 Thanks Chapter2 i was having a 'pathetic' day and i can't work out why he called and i don't know what's happened still re. my return call and im wanting to not care like i didn't for four years. I remembered cleaning out some drawer not long before he called and i saw a planner/diary book from '03..i flicked through it and saw a couple of entries saying God i miss him and all this crap.. and i remember thinking to myself 'God i'm glad i don't feel like that anymore..'then tossed it out. So to be sitting here in this site today needing clarity or whatever it is i'm looking for astounds me. My head is aching today dammit. I'll try and make my posts a lot brighter from here on in lol ty Chapter for your kind words and support. And you know you're right he IS one of those selfish types ..it's all about him and his material cars/bikes and boy things..he even told me he got "bored easy" with things? Well i bet he's not bored now with his W on the warparth!
HappyAtLast Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 I think every situation is different. I was in an unfulfilling marriage, my then-wife was unwilling to do anything about it, it was fine for her. I met my OW and fell in love. I divorced, we married and life has been good for many years now. There are all sorts of endings.
Glass Posted March 29, 2007 Posted March 29, 2007 I just wanted to continue the one line list thingie- ....and anger... wild anger
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