balletdancer Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 we met on a dating website and dated offline. he asked me to be his gf, but I said I was not ready. he said he'd wait till when I'm ready and was sure I was THE one he wanted. but his profile is still on the dating website, and he is online everyday. I haven't talked with him about it yet, since I find myself having no stand point. but why should he still look around while he's sure I'm THE one?
DanielMadr Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 we met on a dating website and dated offline. he asked me to be his gf, but I said I was not ready. he said he'd wait till when I'm ready and was sure I was THE one he wanted. but his profile is still on the dating website, and he is online everyday. I haven't talked with him about it yet, since I find myself having no stand point. but why should he still look around while he's sure I'm THE one? You turned him down, honey. Why should he burn the bridges? If you eventually make up your mind...PERFECT. If not...lets find some other THE One. You are not The One and Only. Is it that shocking?
SoleMate Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Trust ACTIONS over WORDS. Him saying "you're the one" costs him nothing. On the other hand, him being out of the game means that he will miss out on other opportunities. You're not taking this r/s very seriously and neither is he. If he was truly what I define as serious, he would not be on dating sites by definition. Whether you returned his feelings or not, he wouldn't be interested in another woman because you would consume his thoughts. Seeking other r/s would be distasteful and uninteresting.
Plokette Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 You're the one who refused to commit, what do you expect? Do you want him to follow you like a puppy begging for you to finally say "now"? besides, these sites do get addicting, it could just be entertainment value. (where is that deadbitch when you need her)
Author balletdancer Posted March 22, 2007 Author Posted March 22, 2007 we've only dated once. I 1. don't know him enough, 2. doubt how someone could be so sure you are his girl after 1 date.
Author balletdancer Posted March 22, 2007 Author Posted March 22, 2007 we've only dated once. I 1. don't know him enough, 2. doubt how someone could be so sure you are his girl after 1 date.
serial muse Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 here's a thought. perhaps he logs in to check up on your activities online? but yeah, he's probably also hedging his bets until you make up your mind. what's holding you back?
Author balletdancer Posted March 22, 2007 Author Posted March 22, 2007 here's a thought. perhaps he logs in to check up on your activities online? but yeah, he's probably also hedging his bets until you make up your mind. what's holding you back? we've only dated once. I don't know him enough and I doubt how he could be so sure that he has found the right one after only one date.
tanbark813 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Trust ACTIONS over WORDS. Him saying "you're the one" costs him nothing. On the other hand, him being out of the game means that he will miss out on other opportunities. You're not taking this r/s very seriously and neither is he. If he was truly what I define as serious, he would not be on dating sites by definition. Whether you returned his feelings or not, he wouldn't be interested in another woman because you would consume his thoughts. Seeking other r/s would be distasteful and uninteresting. This is true in romance novels and in Puppy-Dogs-And-Ice-Cream Land. On Earth it's retarded. To the OP: He's on the dating site because--like others have said--you turned him down. If you're not his gf you don't really have a say in whether or not he sees other people.
LittleWoman12 Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 You sound like the obsessive type. You didn't commit, but want him to. This world is a two way street and you can't expect him to wait for you. Either the answer is yes, or you two move on. Apparently he has moved on, but you're still stuck behind.
Author balletdancer Posted March 23, 2007 Author Posted March 23, 2007 You sound like the obsessive type. You didn't commit, but want him to. This world is a two way street and you can't expect him to wait for you. Either the answer is yes, or you two move on. Apparently he has moved on, but you're still stuck behind. the thing is that we've only dated once, and I need to get to know him more before I can make a committment. he says he is very sure he wants me, and would wait till I decide. if he's still online dating, then he's not that sure. I wouldn't mind the fact that he is dating someone else. the thing I really mind is that if a man means what he says.
tanbark813 Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 if he's still online dating, then he's not that sure. That's not true, especially if he's had some experience dating online because women on online dating sites tend to be more fickle than others. He's just being smart.
Author balletdancer Posted March 23, 2007 Author Posted March 23, 2007 ok, I clarify... he was eager to get into intimacy, and I'm afraid he might only be interested in sex...
bridget_jones Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 I am going to present an alternative view here and if you all think that I have moral dimentia, well I guess that is the risk I'm taking. I met my last serious bf online. We became what you call "exclusive" after about 3 weeks. Now if he bothered to return to the website, then he would see that I had logged in. Match.com is entertainment to me. I like to see who's out there, not for my own benefit, it's fun to look through the profiles. An example is that I searched through and found a coworker's profile on there, I never thought he would be the type to do that, and I learned from the profile that he was getting divorced, which I didn't know. So...while this is none of my business, and I WASN'T interested in coworker romantically, I found out some interesting info, not that I was going to throw it in his face, he's a cool guy. It's entertainment. Just like LS. Also you went back to his online profile to check up on him...so YOU are still visiting the site yourself, right? i'd just chill over it. If you DO get in a relationship with him, the profile will come down altogether eventually anyway. Mine did, I didn't want to keep paying.
Island Girl Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 ok, I clarify... he was eager to get into intimacy, and I'm afraid he might only be interested in sex... you're probably right.
bridget_jones Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 you're probably right. Yes this tidbit changes my whole opinion. I agree. You know what? If you continue to see him, go with your instincts. Guys who are after one thing and have less than geniune intentions can be spotted a mile away.
Author balletdancer Posted March 24, 2007 Author Posted March 24, 2007 Yes this tidbit changes my whole opinion. I agree. You know what? If you continue to see him, go with your instincts. Guys who are after one thing and have less than geniune intentions can be spotted a mile away. now I'm very confused. is there any guy trustworthy on the world?
tanbark813 Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 is there any guy trustworthy on the world? Yes. In fact, probably more trustworthy guys worldwide than trustworthy girls.
johan Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 I think he was dumb to say he'd wait and that you're "the one" after a single date. And when he did say it, you should have known better than to believe it. One date with a girl, even if you really like her, doesn't justify making any other changes in your life. And one date shouldn't give the girl any expectations that you would, regardless of what you might say in the heat of the moment. After 3 or 4 dates, after you've confirmed the connection, then I think it's time to think about taking the profile down and looking for confirmation of some deeper feelings.
SoleMate Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Hey, thanks for the retarded jibe, tanbark. Seriously. I do get weary of people telling me how smart I am. It has a special meaning coming from a cokehead like you. Look, OP, this guy isn't a great bet. One date does not and should not a "committed partnership" make. ...he was eager to get into intimacy, and I'm afraid he might only be interested in sex... Right. The lines he gave you were just an old, old tactic to accomplish that undoubted objective. I stand by my original statements. His statements were out of line with his actions and therefore you should not take him seriously.
tanbark813 Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Hey, thanks for the retarded jibe, tanbark. Seriously. I do get weary of people telling me how smart I am. It has a special meaning coming from a cokehead like you. Ummm, I've never touched coke in my life but, uhh.. good one, I guess.
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