ratingsguy Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 I'm just wondering what you ladies think about the situation I'm in. About 5 years ago, I bought a diamond ring for my now ex. It cost close to $5,000. She had no input into selecting the ring (or the diamond) and didn't even know that I had the ring until I proposed. Long story short, I proposed to her and she said no. Our relationship ended shortly after that, and she never wore the ring. To this day, I still have that ring. Considering that I originally bought it for someone else, if you were my future wife, would you have a problem accepting it? The way I look at it - my ex didn't pick it out and didn't wear it. It wasn't bought with her in mind... I just wanted to get something nice. And it is nice, but I personally think it's a waste to eat $3,500 and then spend more cash to purchase a different ring. I've only had one female friend tell me that it wouldn't bother her. What are your thoughts?
climbergirl Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 I'm just wondering what you ladies think about the situation I'm in. About 5 years ago, I bought a diamond ring for my now ex. It cost close to $5,000. She had no input into selecting the ring (or the diamond) and didn't even know that I had the ring until I proposed. Long story short, I proposed to her and she said no. Our relationship ended shortly after that, and she never wore the ring. To this day, I still have that ring. Considering that I originally bought it for someone else, if you were my future wife, would you have a problem accepting it? The way I look at it - my ex didn't pick it out and didn't wear it. It wasn't bought with her in mind... I just wanted to get something nice. And it is nice, but I personally think it's a waste to eat $3,500 and then spend more cash to purchase a different ring. I've only had one female friend tell me that it wouldn't bother her. What are your thoughts? Cash that sucker in. My personal opinion is that I'd rather have a $500 dollar ring than one that was intended for someone else. That ring should be something that symbolizes something between the two of you.......just the two of you-and you did choose that ring with someone else in mind.
Trialbyfire Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 If I knew, it would bother me. What I don't know won't hurt me...
Wantingtogetitright Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 regardless of where it came from, who it was for etc etc, this is something your wife if she accepts will wear every day for the rest of her life so it should be something that you know fits her style etc. My advice is take it back and when you do propose do so with an empty ring box and say that you will go pick something out together. It is not about cost, it's not about the size at least it shouldn't be.
NotOverTheHill Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Have the diamonds reset into a new band/setting. Diamonds are very old, they have been around a while. Let her know that you made the right especially for her.
Mz. Pixie Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Have the diamonds reset into a new band/setting. Diamonds are very old, they have been around a while. Let her know that you made the right especially for her. This is a great idea!
Erik Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 $5.000!?! Holy Moses! You could buy a Thai wife for that kind of dough! A Russian, even!
dropdeadlegs Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 ratingsguy!....I can't believe you didn't return the ring! Most jewelers accept rings back within 30 days. They understand that a proposal isn't always accepted. As trialbyfire stated, if I didn't know it was originally purchased for someone else, well, I wouldn't know. Having the diamond(s) reset is a good option. The setting isn't all that expensive as the value is in the diamonds themselves. Personally, I don't need a flashy ring at all, but my biggest concern would be that I prefer "silver" jewelry over gold. I just don't wear the "yellow" colored stuff.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Have the diamonds reset into a new band/setting. Diamonds are very old, they have been around a while. Let her know that you made the right especially for her. This is a perfect solution! TBF said that what she doesn't know can't hurt her and I guess that is true but I do think it can hurt you. I certainly wouldn't want to give a symbol of love and committment that held with it a secret. I'm sure when you picked the ring out for your X you put a good deal of effort into it and were very proud of what you had picked out. You should be just as proud of the ring that give your next SO. I would not want a ring that was purchased for another woman or that had ever been worn by another woman (as in buying a ring from an estate or something similar) UNLESS it was a family heirloom that had been worn by a mother or grandmother of the man who was presenting it to me. Also, if one was the slightest bit supersticious, then one might think that the ring was "cursed" since it wasn't accepted the first time around!
serial muse Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Have the diamonds reset into a new band/setting. Diamonds are very old, they have been around a while. Let her know that you made the right especially for her. Yup, this is exactly my advice, too. I wouldn't want a ring you bought for someone else. I just wouldn't. And I agree, personalizing it to your future bride is key - much of the charm of an engagement, I think, is that she knows you're focusing on and thinking about her when you choose it.
sexdriveinpark Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 Wouldn't bother me a bit. Sounds like a nice ring, I'm sure your 'new wife' will love it. In general, my advice to 'guy friends' like at work has always been: Don't make her squint to have to find the diamonds! Doesn't sound like she'll have to squint! ha!
Jane22067 Posted April 8, 2007 Posted April 8, 2007 I like the idea of a new setting--that makes sense You should not throw money away
JustSomeGirl Posted April 10, 2007 Posted April 10, 2007 My husband and I had a level-headed discussion about the ring. Both of us weren't working very good jobs, we were in the middle of saving for a mortgage and amongst other things it really wasn't a good time for us. We bought a ring for me that cost 250$ (white gold and tiny diamonds/sapphires) and his cost 200$ (White Gold & Titanium). He asked me (now that we have the money) if I wanted to get a nicer one - But to be honest, nothing will ever mean as much to me as this one. So I'll never trade it not even for a new 5k ring that I can choose and customize myself. Money means nothing to some girls, but alot to others. Your question is really specific for the girl that you choose. I would say "No Thank You" to a ring purchased for another womans finger.
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