Guest Posted March 22, 2007 Posted March 22, 2007 Hi everybody, I didn't register yet.But I am really in need of help.Me and my boyfriend want to heal our relationship.It's been bad these last couple of months,and this past weekend i was in a deep bout of depression...and I was in so much pain,and we fought and what not.Sunday he says he want's a break.He says we are not breaking up but that he wants to do it to recoup from this weekend. We decided 2 weeks,talking only on sundays. I am kind of glad we took this break because we were really just pissed off at each other. We both want to heal it,but he suggested the break..He says he loves me,and he just wants to come back to the relationship with a cool head.I am just kind of nervous that this will not happen,and that we will be over for good..we have been together for a year..*sigh* Please help me
taylor Posted March 23, 2007 Posted March 23, 2007 Hi Guest, What have you and your boyfriend been fighting about these past couple months?
Guest Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 Hi Guest, What have you and your boyfriend been fighting about these past couple months? Silly things now that I think about it...but last wknd i was in a deep depression..and I wrote a poem called suicidal..just on a whim..wasnt thinking about it..wasnt going to do it ..and he freaked out terribly...i was like give me a few days to calm down..just in a deep funk..then sunday..he was like i need some space to heal from this situation...
norajane Posted March 24, 2007 Posted March 24, 2007 So what are you doing on your break to help you clear your head? Sitting around and being depressed? Get out there and live your life.
BlueEyedSarah Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 I agree with norajane, go out and do other things while on the break, don't sit around being depressed and thinking about it.
waitingforlove Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Hi guest, I hope you're feeling better! Don't worry about him not coming back -- because I have found that the more I worry about something, the more likely it IS going to happen! That's because you will end up unconsciously behaving in a negative way that will increase the chances of the situation worsening. So if you don't want him to be gone for good, don't even worry for another second that he's not coming back! If you worry about that, you may end up begging him, crying on the phone when you're talking with him, or fighting more with him, which may risk driving him further away. Be positive! Be happy and try to regain your life! We girls a lot of times end up losing part of ourselves when we are in a relationship, because we want so much to "love" this guy and we long for his love, that we give up our own interests, hobbies, ambitions, and a lot of other things. Try to reorganize your own life again, be happy (or at the VERY LEAST act happy if at the moment you really can't be happy yet) when you talk to him, and he'll be drawn back towards you! Good luck and keep us posted!
Sweetie2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Try to reorganize your own life again, be happy (or at the VERY LEAST act happy if at the moment you really can't be happy yet) when you talk to him, and he'll be drawn back towards you! That's good advice! Sometimes, what I've found with my BF, and I've heard it on here as well, is that I (the female in the relationship), require too much, I ask for a lot, want more time than is available, and end up being depressed and complaining to him a lot. This pushes a man away. If you are happy, or at least act happy, then he will see that things are getting better, and want to be with you! I think the break is a good idea, go out and have some FUN while your not talking to him, and when you do talk to him, stay positive, tell him about the things that you did, and maybe, if it's going well, say something like "i can't wait to do ____ with you!" Make it positive, so he wants to be with you again. Good luck!!
Trialbyfire Posted March 25, 2007 Posted March 25, 2007 Stepping back with a cool head is always a good idea although getting back together again without dealing with the underlying issues, never works in the long run. If you two could sit down without the need to lash out at each other and focus on your problems, you might have a chance of making it work. If you try to bury them, they will always come back to haunt you, causing each disagreement to escalate to unreasonable levels. My 2 cents...
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