French Men Don't Get Caught

[casoria99]

This article is interesting from MSN. But my guy was Spanish and is an expert at seduction. But I will say that the adultery destroyed all three of us (me the worst, I feel, because I am rebuilding and repairing alone). But is adultery more devastating to those of us in America versus other countries? Or, could we treat adultery differently?

Just asking.

 

FRENCH MEN DON'T GET CAUGHT

http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4096355&page=1&GT1=9212&su=hotmail.com/cgi-bin/hmhome

 

WHY IS THE FALLOUT IN AMERICA SO BRUTAL?

http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4096355&page=2

 

MARRIAGE INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4096355&page=3

[Guest]

In my experience Americans are pretty ignorant of the rest of the world.

I mean even Bush didn't know where Afghanistan was!

 

You have the religious right and very right wing radio presenters who are always preaching against adultery.

In France, a mm almost has an expectation that he will have a mistress. Americans do not have any royalty like the British and the future king had a mistress whom he eventually married. Religion is less important in Europe so they are not as god fearing as the Americans.

You are a very unforgiving nation and that is seen in your people, hence they do not usually forgive affairs.

Europe is mostly cultured and we don't go around shooting people who displease us!!!

[Topper]

We Americans can be a rather confusing lot. On one hand we want to be seen as this very morally correct people. We make a big show of being oh so righteous and pious. On the other hand we have Preachers getting hiring gay Prostitutes. As more woman enter the work place more Married woman are having affairs. The numbers are almost reaching that of Married men having affairs. In other words we are human.

If you recall the whole Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky affair, was for much of the world no big deal. In much of Europe they know that power is an aphrodisiac to a great many woman. So it just seems natural that a powerful man will have a little something on the side. Yes if the aafaire is brought to light there will be some fallout. Yet you would never see the kind of outrage by the moralist that we see in this country.

[Ireallyhatecheating]

How can a Frenchman get caught if she can't smell the other womans' perfume through the musty haze of his own almagamation of odors?

 

He has the perfect "cover"

[puddleofmud]

I think that this article may be more of a cultural presentation than one of actual moralistic.

However, we in the USA should accept our dominant mostly European cultural origins as to these important influences about our learned attitudes and why we are not so different from what is termed "the old world".

Really, are there any actual astounding differences in male/ female societal relationships since then and now in either or any "leg" of western civilization?

Nice try but it is my opinion that there seems more commonalties than differences regarding affairs.

[Blind Illusion]

Someone just pointed this article out to me and I thought it was most interesting and probably did contain a lot of valid points.

 

I guess it does have a lot to do with culture and the expectations that you grow up with. Sometimes it does seem like Americans are an all or nothing bunch. We want perfection. The perfect job, the perfect marriage, the perfect house in that perfect neighborhood with the perfect school district. Nothing wrong with that but life doesn't always work that way. Perhaps it is just that other societies accept the less than stellar reality that sometimes a person falls for someone outside their realm of perfection. Rather than everyone and their mother coming out to condemn that person to an eternal damnation, everyone just minds their own business.

[Blind Illusion]

W

If you recall the whole Bill Clinton, Monica Lewinsky affair, was for much of the world no big deal. .

Good point. I do recall newspapers around the world completely mystified over the degree of coverage that this personal act was getting in this country. And not just from National Enquirer kinds of periodicals, either.

[sb129]

. Sometimes it does seem like Americans are an all or nothing bunch. We want perfection. The perfect job, the perfect marriage, the perfect house in that perfect neighborhood with the perfect school district. Nothing wrong with that but life doesn't always work that way. Perhaps it is just that other societies accept the less than stellar reality that sometimes a person falls for someone outside their realm of perfection. Rather than everyone and their mother coming out to condemn that person to an eternal damnation, everyone just minds their own business.

 

Good post. i agree with alot of it.

 

Europe is mostly cultured and we don't go around shooting people who displease us!!!

 

Hmm. There are still lot of murders here! And to say its mostly cultured is a bit of an overstatement.... there are still ALOT of very ignorant narrowminded people in Europe. Here in England the divorce rate is high (25%), and there have been some highly publicised nasty divorces in the papers lately, namely the one where the H took the W to the cleaners, and won- landmark case, she had to pay him out millions because she earnt more.

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0348853/

 

This French film is called Nathalie- its about a parisian woman who hires a prostitute to seduce her husband so she can see if he would be unfaithful to her.

Its good. The wife still gets hurt and upset by it- it explores the issues of love, betrayal, fidelity etc, which must be topical in france for the film to have been made, surely.

[bullhunter]

Had my wife not reacted as she did to my extra-marital screwup, I would have questioned whether she loved me or just loved being married. I do wish she could have recovered more quickly and with less pain.

[bigblueeyes]

I think it is pretty difficult to generalise, but I guess that in some couples there is an agreement to turn a blind eye.

 

And to whomever said something about French people being smelly, I can tell you that we do shower over here on the other side of the Atlantic

[sb129]

The French are famous for perfume- NICE smells... not bad ones.

I have never met a malodourous Frenchperson.

[americat]

This article is interesting from MSN. But my guy was Spanish and is an expert at seduction. But I will say that the adultery destroyed all three of us (me the worst, I feel, because I am rebuilding and repairing alone). But is adultery more devastating to those of us in America versus other countries? Or, could we treat adultery differently?

Just asking.

 

FRENCH MEN DON'T GET CAUGHT

http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4096355&page=1&GT1=9212&su=hotmail.com/cgi-bin/hmhome

 

WHY IS THE FALLOUT IN AMERICA SO BRUTAL?

http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4096355&page=2

 

MARRIAGE INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX

http://men.msn.com/articlebl.aspx?cp-documentid=4096355&page=3

 

 

I love this quote:

The Russians regard affairs as benign vices, like cigars and scotch.

 

 

 

That probably explains why so many Russian women are abandoned with their children in tow. I heard about the selfishness of Russian men and guess now get it.

[americat]

In most other countries, an occasional affair is tolerated and even sanctioned (at least for men).

 

Before we finish lunch, he points out that everything he has talked about is one-sided. He's well aware that most women in the cultures he has described don't have a sliver of this freedom. He believes this isn't right, but he doesn't apologize.

 

The women in this country would never accept such double standards. That's why. We are much more empowered. In some cultures, it's ok for men to even kill their adulterous wife. The women accept the cheating in other countries cause they HAVE to. It's a shame.

 

Do we have to read any more articles about how two-faced and disgusting men can be? Can't there be one good article showing that men aren't as much of pigs as they are purported to be.

 

 

When I ask why we're the only country whose relationships often collapse immediately under the weight of a discovered infidelity, he says that in other countries women have fewer rights. Men cheat, and women have no leverage to stop them or to complain. It's not a matter of tolerance but of unequal freedoms. He reminds me that in some countries, women are stoned to death for adultery.

 

Could we treat it differently? What do you want? LESS RIGHTS FOR WOMEN LIKE IN OTHER CRAPPY COUNTRIES??? I don't see how this article has any relevance to anything, much less shows ANY OTHER countries have it better just cause they stay married after an affair(they have it much worse). It doesn't really mean that they GET over it any easier or anything of that nature. From what I'm getting out of this article, it's only documenting the sheer abuse women receive in other countries. Did you even bother reading this article in its entirety?

 

"So is it not possible for couples and individuals to handle this crisis on their own?" I ask.

"It's possible," he answers. "In Singapore, where there's no support system, they do handle it on their own." I ask how. "With a staggering rate of suicide," he replies.

[americat]

Someone just pointed this article out to me and I thought it was most interesting and probably did contain a lot of valid points.

 

I guess it does have a lot to do with culture and the expectations that you grow up with. Sometimes it does seem like Americans are an all or nothing bunch. We want perfection. The perfect job, the perfect marriage, the perfect house in that perfect neighborhood with the perfect school district. Nothing wrong with that but life doesn't always work that way. Perhaps it is just that other societies accept the less than stellar reality that sometimes a person falls for someone outside their realm of perfection. Rather than everyone and their mother coming out to condemn that person to an eternal damnation, everyone just minds their own business.

 

 

EXCEPT WHEN IT IS THE WOMAN CHEATING- regarding the infidelity occurring in other countires.

 

This article is awfully funny. Let's hear about some men who have been cheated on in these other countries? Like they would even be able to admit to it due to embarrassment and feeling emasculated. Oh, they wouldn't stand for it. The woman would get beaten for sure in the very least.

[lindya]

Superficially, many Europeans express a more pragmatic approach to the matter of infidelity than is expressed in America – or, at least, on Loveshack. Simone de Beauvoir was a good example of a sophisticated, intellectually brilliant Frenchwoman conducting an open relationship – but the content of her novels demonstrates that no amount of sophisticated intellectual discourse on this subject removes the intense emotional pain involved in such situations, however philosophical one aspires to being about it all.

 

There’s an article by Christine Overall called “Monogamy, Nonmonogamy and Identity”. I can’t summarise it in a post, but it deals with the different ways in which men and women define themselves through sex. She argues that men define themselves through sexual activity, whereas women define themselves with reference to their sexual partner. To the man, his partner’s infidelity represents an attack on his masculinity – whereas to the women, the partner’s infidelity encroaches on her whole identity and life

 

Simone de Beauvoir’s book “She came to stay” is a stunning example of this theory in action….a woman finding her whole life being infiltrated and consumed by her partner’s relationship with another woman. That book was based on Sartre’s relationship with two different women (fused into one for the purposes of the book).

 

Infidelity causes immense distress – whether that infidelity takes place in Europe, the US or on the moon. References to European pragmatism about such matters seem to be little more than a cynical attempt to discount the validity of those emotional aspects while assuming an elegant “continental” air.

[bridget_jones]

I haven't read the article yet and can't comment on the content, but that is a hilarious pun on the famous book French Woman Don't Get Fat. I just about spit out my diet Coke from laughing.